I need some encouragement ECF!

[BiffRocko]

Bad boy or not, a day at the spa never hurt anyone! If you've never had a cute girl scrub your feet & cut your toenails...you're missing out! Not to mention a nice massage.(With or without the "happy ending" lol!) Sounds like a good time for a new tat, since you like them. I have ink & piercings too. They signify many accomplishments & battle scars.

A massage is definitely something I plan to do, and it probably is time to get a new tattoo. I haven't gotten new ink in at least 5 years. I have a few empty spots on my right arm that I've been reserving for major life events. This is definitely one of them. I just need to figure out what imagery is going to best represent the last few years.

Counseling is ok for someone to talk to, but remember that they only get paid if you go. Counselors don't do much, other than teach you how to look at yourself. They can't cure your pain anymore than a smoke or booze or drugs. You seem to have a grip on you are. You just gotta quit looking for someone to complete you. You are complete...God don't make no junk! Have a little fun & quit worrying. In a lot of ways, your life just got better. Keep Rockin' Man!

Very true. I've found that counselor's don't do anything I can't do on my own. They just help to speed up the process. I figure 6 months, tops, and I'll be ok on my own again.

Thanks again to everyone in the thread. The advice and support you've all given to some random dude on the internet has been great and really helped a lot!

 

[Moonflame]

I'm with AG on the new ink idea. It's a great way to say goodbye to the old and hello to the new. What style of tats do you have now? Maybe if you show a pic of the area you're planning to get it we can see what's around it and make suggestions. OK, I'll admit part of that request is an excuse to see your ink .

 

[BiffRocko]

Hahaha. Sadly, I lost a hard drive a few months ago with all of my pictures on it. I have purposely not traditional Americanized, Japanese styled sleeves. I have a few different styles on my legs. On the back of my neck. I have "Om mani padme hung" (a Buddhist mantra) in Tibetan Sanskrit. Here's the only two pictures I have of. The first is part of my left sleeve in progress. The second is on my leg.




I normally don't explain the meaning of my tattoos to people, but you've all been so great I'll go ahead and let the secret out. On my right arm I have a monk and a dragon that wraps around the arm. Behind the monk and dragon are the elements fire, water, and wind. In Japanese culture, the dragon symbolizes power and wisdom. The monk in my tattoo is mirroring the dragon's pose. He represents me following a life long striving towards having the power and wisdom of the dragon.

I also had the tattooist intersperse three pieces of rice paper along my arm. Each is meant to signify a different phase/major lesson in life. The first is an island that represents hope. (I still have to get this inked actually.) The second is the one I'd be filling in now. It's a roughly rectangular space on the inside of my arm starting below and ending at my elbow about 2 x 5 inches.

For now, I'll probably just get the island inked. The hope I learned to always carry with me is getting me through this time. When I've pondered on the current situation long enough, I'm sure I'll find the appropriate image for the second though.

 

[BiffRocko]

Oh and I can't believe I didn't give an update! I rented an apartment today in the neighborhood where I lived before she and I moved in together. I absolutely loved living there and was crushed when I had to move to suburbia for the sake of her son. 1.5 blocks from the beach in the coolest little community ever. I ran into two friends there today just while renting an apartment. I can move in as early as Saturday.

Now, it's finally hitting me that this is happening. I am moving on with my life without her in it. She seems to be ok with it too; actively planning her future as well.

We split the possessions today. She gets the RV. I get the bedroom set and the gun safe. All that's left now is to move, and get the legal stuff taken care of. The future looks bright, a bit scary at the moment, but bright indeed.

 

[fivefivesix]

No 5.56 in the gun cabinet unfortunately. Just a Ruger 10/22 and a S&W Sigma series .40 cal hand gun.

I <3 my 10/22, had it for 30 years don't have anything in .40, but I do have a 229 that shoots a .40 necked down to 9mm


I don't think therapy is of much help, my advice is better relationships with men, that's the foundation for a good relationship with a woman.

 

[classwife]

Biff !! You are doing great and going to be just fine !!!

Ahhhh...the life of a beach community......sigh.......nice !

 

[Moonflame]

Very beautiful ink. Thanks for the pics. It sounds like things are looking up and that's great. Moving back to somewhere you were really happy is a good plan and finding old friends there is icing on the cake .

 

[BiffRocko]

Thanks for the compliments on my ink. Tried to get in touch with my old tattooists, one of whom is still up in LA, to see about getting a new one. No answer yet. Hope I don't have to find someone new.

And I decided on the the "man-awesome" treat I'm getting for myself.

Got a loan approved already. Just waiting until I'm fully moved out and have filed for divorce before I buy it. Praying it's still for sale then.

Still smoking, but it's getting less and less attractive as my stress levels drop a bit more every day. I'm going to be just fine on that front.

Thanks again, ECF. You're one of the most awesome collection of people I've found on the net, and I've been online for almost 20 years.

 

[AlmightyGod]

That is the kinda Man-Awesome I'm talking about! Chick Magnet! Very nice Biff!

Hope you get a hold of your skin artist. You're in LA though, so you could always hit up Kat & get yourself on TV too! Lol!

I'm glad you're doing better.
As you see, it does get easier.

 

[BiffRocko]

Hell yeah...I've been wanting a Z for a long time. What better, and more cliche, time than when getting divorced.

I'm actually in San Diego, but it's only a two hour drive. I have to assume Kat is one of the tattooists on one of the reality shows? I don't have TV...lol

And re: beach communties...the other day I was at my new place waiting for the cable dude to install my modem. The mailman walks up with speakers in his mailbag jamming Bob Marley's Exodus. Love it!

 

[AlmightyGod]

Yeah...she's the hot tattoo chick...I think she's dating Jesse James these days. From the looks of her show, she has some of the best artists in the biz.

Cliche or not...that car is awesome!
Are they gonna hold it for you?

I hope you keep the motorcycle though, cause every single guy should have a bike (married guys too).

How was "the happy ending" massage? ROFL!

 

[BiffRocko]

I just talked to my lawyer. He said go for it. She won't have a claim to it. I called the owner, and I'm meeting him in about 4 hours. With any luck, that lovely piece of machinery will be mine tonight.

I sold the bike to a friend. It needs a lot of TLC due to the corrosion it collected from sitting in the salty ocean air for two years. Since I'm moving back there, I didn't want it to devalue any more. I'll get another bike eventually though.

Haven't gotten the massage yet. That's on the agenda for next week or the week after. A buddy of mine found a place that does 60 minutes for $20. Not sure if there will be a happy ending or not though...lol

 

[meeems]

I can't believe you hit so many nails on the head without any real details, AG. She was done. She was the one who left. She either didn't realize it, couldn't admit it, or wanted to have her cake and eat it too. I was just the one who put the words to the ending. And though it wasn't a constant condition, she could most certainly be "a selfish, self-centered ......"

I'm not going to pine for her, but I do realize I need to grieve the loss. Remember the good times. Remember the bad times. Process the fact that she won't be my wife anymore. Build a vision for my future and eventually get back out there to put my chips on the table and play another hand.

Thankfully, since I announced our breakup on Facebook last night, lots of friends have come out of the woodwork to support me and offer help. One friend of mine keeps joking about having Craigapalooza (ala the movie Old School) to "release me back into the wild." I think I'd enjoy that quite a bit. lol

My break up took 3 and a half years to get over, its was bad. He left me two weeks before christmas, told me he was selling the house, i had two months to leave the house, my mother told me NOT to leave the house or i'd lose it', I didnt listen, ended up getting a really crappy settlement. he got the house, he never intended to sell it, it was all FAKE, so as soon as i left, he took the for sale sign down, never intended to sell, then he had his new girlfriend move in. Yep, it was all pre meditated.

And I am a decent loving human being, there was no need for all the 'deception'. I would have just left anyway.

and if its any consolation, i ran out of attys that worked, and officially just bought a pack of cigarettes this morning after being off them completely since april 6. my birthday.

But i'm not going to beat myself up. screw that', I know as soon as i get this order of attys coming, i'll go back. I miss the dessert puffs' already.


So dont beat yourself up for smoking again, you'll get back on the horse. and whatever you do, DONT pine for too long, trust me, I wasted way too many years, getting over someone who wasnt even worth it.

 

[BiffRocko]

So dont beat yourself up for smoking again, you'll get back on the horse. and whatever you do, DONT pine for too long, trust me, I wasted way too many years, getting over someone who wasnt even worth it.

Nah, the pining is done now. I don't have good thoughts or feelings about her at all. She let me down too many times for me to want to be with her any more.

 

[AlmightyGod]

Nah, the pining is done now. I don't have good thoughts or feelings about her at all. She let me down too many times for me to want to be with her any more.

That's what I like to hear!
F... the b....!!!
No member of the opposite sex is worth being miserable over.

 

[BiffRocko]

The Z is mine. I pick it up as soon as the bank sends me the check. F yeah!

Man-awesome treat to myself - check!

 

[Moonflame]

Grats on the new car, she sure is pretty!

 

[lilfarmtruck]

Hello Biff, My heart goes out to you. I married way to young (18) and decided to leave my husband 7 years later. Was the best descision I've ever made. Bottom line I just didnt have any business getting married that young. We didnt have kids and the divorce was amicable. I've been single now for 20 years and dont regret it one bit. Dont worry to much about the smoking relapse. Seems like stressful situations can get the best of us sometimes. You will get back on the bandwagon again. You did it once and you will be able to quite again (and stay quit). You will be suprised at how strong situations like this can make you.

Take care. You are already doing the right things...reaching out and asking for help is half the battle. I'm glad the folks here are such a good bunch.

 

[AlmightyGod]

Wow!

I was thinking about Biff today & it popped up with a new post.

How's that car working out dude?

 

[John K]

Hang in there. Stress is a killer. Maybe switch to a higher strength on your e-juice or refills, until things settle down a bit.