I want a cigarette

[TJQ86]

Yeah that's right, I want a cigarette. It's been 4-5 months or whatever my banner says. I was fine at first, I was into this whole flavor thing, cool i'm smoking vapor and it's not smoke phase around family and friends. But recently I have been having dreams, first they start off with me having a cig and regretting it..this is after 4-5 months, I never dreamed about it before..I didn't even want that crap in my body anymore, I quit for my 5 year old son so I could live longer and not die early.

I don't know what to do anymore, I need help. I thought I was safe, but i'm not. My mom supports me quitting, but still smokes behind my back. Everyone smokes behind my back. I tried to get my mom to vape but its not for her. I don't think it's a support issue, my mom respects my decision to vape, and even doesn't smoke in her own house for me...I don't know what it is!!!

Has it been extra stress? I don't think so, I mean, I have a lot of stress in my life, I have panic attacks and agoraphobia, so I was dealing with all of that when I quit and picked up vaping. Maybe it's a chemical in my brain that just snapped, i'm note sure. The other day I was watching the movie Casino, and they are smoking in like almost every scene, and it was REALLy hard to watch their hand motions, the hand to mouth, that alone made me almost relapse.

I need help, I thought I was done. But now I am so close to ruining 5 months of not smoking..just to go back to that habit. Please help!!

 

[NCC]

I've had dreams of buying cigarettes. That's strange, huh? I've also spotted my uncommon brand behind the counter a few times and for a moment thought about buying a pack.

Considering your commitment to stay away from cigarettes, and the length of time you've been off them ... I'm going to make a radical suggestion. If you have a friend who smokes a brand you might have formerly found 'good', bum a smoke. Fire that sucker up!

My guess is you'll find the actual thing is very unpleasant. That should solve your problem. That was my experience, along with a lot of other former cigarette smokers.

------
I smoked a carton per week for more than 35 years.

 

[TJQ86]

I've had dreams of buying cigarettes. That's strange, huh? I've also spotted my uncommon brand behind the counter a few times and for a moment thought about buying a pack.

Considering your commitment to stay away from cigarettes, and the length of time you've been off them ... I'm going to make a radical suggestion. If you have a friend who smokes a brand you might have formerly found 'good', bum a smoke. Fire that sucker up!

My guess is you'll find the actual thing is very unpleasant. That should solve your problem. That was my experience, along with a lot of other former cigarette smokers.

------
I smoked a carton per week for more than 35 years.

even after 5 months i dont trust myself, i'll just go back to smoking a pack a day :/

 

[Krisb]

I agree! Don't panic or stress out over this...it's normal. Just have one. I tried one once since vaping and it was completely disgusting. So far I have not wanted another. True, I'm not as far along as you, but if we have to occasionally remind ourselves just how bad they taste..no harm.

 

[notsoogood]

Have you tried to up your nicotine level? That's all it takes for me.

 

[TJQ86]

I started at the highest level and worked my way down to 4 mg..i bought a pack..I had one, it didnt feel like I skipped a beat, I didn't cough or anything.. I had that nic rush I felt when I was a teen.. I liked it..I hate myself for doing this. The guilt is really high..I can't beat myself up over this, I have to get over it and man up

 

[StarsAndBars]

ahhh, big deal.

 

[VapingRulz]

I started at the highest level and worked my way down to 4 mg..i bought a pack..I had one, it didnt feel like I skipped a beat, I didn't cough or anything.. I had that nic rush I felt when I was a teen.. I liked it..I hate myself for doing this. The guilt is really high..I can't beat myself up over this, I have to get over it and man up

I have found that I cannot go below 18mg without craving an analog, and I've been off the analogs for over a year. I would advise you to up the nicotine level before you take up smoking again.

 

[GrimReaper]

uhh so you went from 36 nic down to 4 nic in about 4 months....yeah id assume thats why your craving all of a sudden right there your body cant adjust that fast without you not wanting nicotine. just go back up to like 24 nic and youll be fine order some 36 when you feel that NEEED...you gotta remeber your nicotine is time released like the patch its not an instant thing and you smoking will just make it alot harder since it goes right to the brain. just up your nicotine and ull be stright i knwo trust me ive been there i vape till im lightheaded and im just fine i dont even crave cigs anymore and its been 3 months since i started vaping

 

[Beachlover]

My thoughts are the same as GrimReaper's. Your nic level is too low making you have the cravings. I'd up the nic content again and then go gradually lower...that was a huge drop in nic level in only 4 months. Next time keep higher nic juice around so if you get that feeling again try the higher nic and see if the feeling for a cigarette goes away.

 

[Kevin Freeheart]

Nicotine affects dreaming. It's one of the symptoms of nicotine withdraw. That was my biggest indication that you need to up your nic a bit if you're interested in using vaping as an alternative to analogs.

 

[maureengill]

I found that there seemed to be certain times of day when I would hit cravings...I made sure that I upped my nic an hour before those times and it seemed to help a lot. I do still smoke a cig or two a day when I want to, but not because I'm "jonesing" for a cig.

 

[tlynn]

Search for the threads on the main forum for MAOI. This may be what you need. Lots of people use a Snus a couple times a day.

 

[tonna11]

You are being so strong, and refusing analogs--of course youre going to dream about them! Its the only way for your inner "smoker" to get your attention, and beg you to smoke again! I agree with Beachlover and Grimreaper--you need to up your nicotine in a hurry, before you break down and start smoking again, and I mean more than ONE, too! You are in a very dangerous place in controlling your addiction,and its NOT backsliding, its managing your recovery. I'm a new vaper, but a very experienced x-professional in the psych area, so I'm not a newbie in understanding addictions (which makes me three times the dumbass for ever starting, doest it?). Also, I'd like to point out that youre having some "thoughts" that point to this strongly, such as-"they all smoke behind my back" suggests that youre feeling not part of the family as much since you started vaping instead of smoking. As in "smoking was something we did together, and the ritual of it made me feel loved and safe". BTW-these are subconscious thoughts, think of them as the way your "inner child" is pouting over your taking the goodies away and punishing/speaking to you. You are dealing with way more then you are giving yourself credit for stress-wise, as well. You say you have a five year old, panic attacks, agoraphobia, high amounts of guilt feelings AND self-loathing ("I hate myself"etc)--Honey, thats a big ole honkin stress monkey, and its currently smackin you upside the head!
Remember a few things here, okay? It took you a long time to build up this habit, and you are going to have to give it almost as much time to break it fully. You are doing this for your son, your mom, and yourself-so you need to do it correctly. Its not backsliding to up your nicotine, seriously. I'm afraid if you dont, youre gonna be a smoker again--and you've made such progress, I'd hate for you to have to deal with the emotional fall out of that. Remember we are all here for you, every day, all the time. Remember that you've got a lot to be proud of yourself for, the progress you've made so far is amazing!

 

[riverwinds]

You are being so strong, and refusing analogs--of course youre going to dream about them! Its the only way for your inner "smoker" to get your attention, and beg you to smoke again! I agree with Beachlover and Grimreaper--you need to up your nicotine in a hurry, before you break down and start smoking again, and I mean more than ONE, too! You are in a very dangerous place in controlling your addiction,and its NOT backsliding, its managing your recovery. I'm a new vaper, but a very experienced x-professional in the psych area, so I'm not a newbie in understanding addictions (which makes me three times the dumbass for ever starting, doest it?). Also, I'd like to point out that youre having some "thoughts" that point to this strongly, such as-"they all smoke behind my back" suggests that youre feeling not part of the family as much since you started vaping instead of smoking. As in "smoking was something we did together, and the ritual of it made me feel loved and safe". BTW-these are subconscious thoughts, think of them as the way your "inner child" is pouting over your taking the goodies away and punishing/speaking to you. You are dealing with way more then you are giving yourself credit for stress-wise, as well. You say you have a five year old, panic attacks, agoraphobia, high amounts of guilt feelings AND self-loathing ("I hate myself"etc)--Honey, thats a big ole honkin stress monkey, and its currently smackin you upside the head!
Remember a few things here, okay? It took you a long time to build up this habit, and you are going to have to give it almost as much time to break it fully. You are doing this for your son, your mom, and yourself-so you need to do it correctly. Its not backsliding to up your nicotine, seriously. I'm afraid if you dont, youre gonna be a smoker again--and you've made such progress, I'd hate for you to have to deal with the emotional fall out of that. Remember we are all here for you, every day, all the time. Remember that you've got a lot to be proud of yourself for, the progress you've made so far is amazing!

WELL said Tonna!
I'm still a newbie at vaping, haven't had an analog in 3 weeks, though. That's a big step for me after vaping for about 3 months and smoking for about 35 yrs. I too still live with a smoker. But, ya know, my reality is that I expect to have cravings for at least 1 yr or maybe 2 or 3. I've talked to myself about it and have convinced myself that it is a very slow process, so I keep high nic juice on hand for those uncontrolable moments. It works, vape away with it. Understand and open your mind to the fact that it takes time. Don't beat yourself up, you will not be backsliding by raising the nic. You can do it. And then, of course, you have us for those times that are even harder.

 

[GrimReaper]

just get you a steady flow of 24 nic and some 36 nic for those craving times and all will be good

 

[NCC]

Wow, new info since I last posted ... 4mg? That's about as close to 0mg as you can practically get. with that in light, I have to agree with the others about upping your nic level. I should've asked.

You've got the will power. A bit aggressive on the nic reduction. Good luck!

 

[JenJen]

I agree. I started at 18mg and after one year of vaping only I have cut down to 11mg. I may eventually go lower, but probably not. The throat hit below 11mg isn't good and I need that, probably more then I need the nicotine. If I was vaping 4's I would probably be dreaming of cigs also because for some strange reason, throat hit is what satisfies me. I need to FEEL like I am smoking, if that makes sense.

Don't beat yourself up for backsliding, but try to find out what it is that you are missing - whether it be the actual Nicotine, the throat hit or whatever and get the strength that allows you to not miss the cigs. Good luck hun, we are all in this together and you are not alone!

 

[jtcaseyjr]

I Started with 24mg and that wasn't enough. I went up to 36mg and that's prolly where I'm gonna stay for awhile. I really don't feel the need to tier down at all as Nicotine isn't the real harmful thing in tobacco anyway.

 

[krazie_Kid]

Hey bro, trust me with what I am going to say:

RAISE YOUR NIC LEVEL! IT WILL WORK!!!

I have had the same problem, I did not want to post it here or anything because I wanted to deal with it with Born and Saw privately. They have told me to raise my nic level back up and lower myself slow. I decided to not lower it again because I can never have the urge to smoke again due to my collapsed lung.

If you ever need anything just I.M me. You have my AIM.