There is a technique for relaxing, it's called a memory palace. The idea is to clearly imagine somewhere you would like to be..maybe a cabin in the woods, a cottage at the beach..whatever. Build it in your mind, bit by bit, decorate it and furnish it. Do this when ever you want to 'get away".
Each time you think of your memory palace or cottage, try to really be there, make a cup of tea, sit on the porch, feel the breeze.
I know it sounds stupid but it works for me..I have a log cabin by a lake. I sit on the porch and watch the ducks (I have never seen a lke with ducks on it, so this takes a bit of thought!) It helps me fall asleep.
Ryle, you are a nice woman, give yourself a break and then dive back in!

mss5366, There will be a special place for you in the hereafter. Please try to be good to yourself!
WS23, We all feel for you, You are among friends here. Try to use this place to find a bit of fun and friendship. It will help, I promise.