Madvapes Weekly Contest - August 3 through August 7
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Non-Entry.
Just because it's funny
A police officer called the station on his radio.
"I have an interesting case here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped."
"Have you arrested the woman?"
"Not yet. The floor's still wet."
Just because it's funny
A police officer called the station on his radio.
"I have an interesting case here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped."
"Have you arrested the woman?"
"Not yet. The floor's still wet."
A young buy walks into the barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
“Hey, son! May I ask you a question?
Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”
The boy licked his cone and replied,
“Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.
“Hey, son! May I ask you a question?
Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”
The boy licked his cone and replied,
“Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
Probably my favorite gif, drunk guy trying to use an ATM:
![URL]]](/proxy.php?image=http%3A%2F%2F%5BURL%3D%27http%3A%2F%2Fi58.tinypic.com%2F2ijln37.jpg%255b%2FIMG%27%5Dhttp%3A%2F%2Fi58.tinypic.com%2F2ijln37.jpg%5B%2FIMG%5B%2FURL%5D%5D&hash=af32fecbb5d390306740448bd028061c)
A Texan visited his friend in Arkansas. While there, they went in a drive to do some sightseeing. Shortly, the came across a whitetail deer crossing the road.
"What's that?" Asks the Texan.
"That was an Arkansas deer," the Arkansan replies.
Well, shoot. We've got jackrabbits that big down in Texas.
The Arkansan knows this to be true and lets the boast slide on by.
Soon, they see a turkey by the side of the road.
"What's that?" Blurts the Texan.
"Well, that's an Arkansas turkey."
"Ha! We got sparrows in Texas that big."
This time the boast annoys the Arkansan, but he says nothing.
A couple miles down the road, they find a turtle crossing the highway.
"What's that?" Queries the visitor.
"Why that's an Arkansas tick."
For some reason, the Texan hasn't been as boastful since...
"What's that?" Asks the Texan.
"That was an Arkansas deer," the Arkansan replies.
Well, shoot. We've got jackrabbits that big down in Texas.
The Arkansan knows this to be true and lets the boast slide on by.
Soon, they see a turkey by the side of the road.
"What's that?" Blurts the Texan.
"Well, that's an Arkansas turkey."
"Ha! We got sparrows in Texas that big."
This time the boast annoys the Arkansan, but he says nothing.
A couple miles down the road, they find a turtle crossing the highway.
"What's that?" Queries the visitor.
"Why that's an Arkansas tick."
For some reason, the Texan hasn't been as boastful since...
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