Ohhhhhh what a field !!! C'mon you buggers, I'll take on the lot of ya !!!
What have we got here?
DCrist721... No challenge, mention there is a dope plant being grown hydroponically in the ECF toilet cubicle, watch the eyes widen and off they go , slam toilet door , wedge shut with trash receptacle.... Job Done !
Shimmyprincess... A Tough One... How does one take down the forums most eminent granma? Get Steve ( Cash) on cell phone, tell him to put some stock up on Puresmoker, she will forfeit in her rush to order

.... Granma Shmanma !!!
K-Sound Krew.... hmmm little tougher , mention Rita is waiting for him in the car park , enlist a few biker mates to take him out in the carpark, I might have one stuffed kneecap at present but I can arrange for him to have two !!! Take that Funny Boy !!
Nicowolf.... Ohhhhh Wayyyyyyy too easy ! Hey Nico, Kas is out in the carpark, not too sure whats going on but she mentioned she was feeling a bit vulnerable?? I think she might need consoling? .... Job Done !
e-pipeman... Ok gently gently here , mod and all .... Oi Pipey? I hear Imeo and Trog are having a bit of a punch on in the other room... you better get out there before 100 other urgers arrive and whip up the inevitable blood lust !!! I think I can hear a mob building , you better hurry .... Hessian Bag over head trick,little bit of ether, long disorienting drive where he wakes up under a bridge wondering just where his pants are and how the heck he got here ! ... Properrrr Jooooob !!! ( I just bet he watches scrapheap challenge

)
Wildsky... Hmmm the unknown here ... hears tales of how she makes the boys woozy with a few well chosen words? Thank Heaven I am not easily swayed in that regard.... best chance Hmmmm Ok Tauki is at the motel with 242 dvd's of Greys Anatomy and a bottle of Wild Turkey... I have taken the liberty of ordering you a cab?... Watches dust cloud settle as she does a mean roadrunner impersonation out of the arena ... Meep Meep !
Figurehead.... Oh Crap , Serious contender !!! A firestorm flatulent clown with a pilot light in his britches....Plan A crawl into corner crying like a sooky boy, then kick him in the nads and hope the lit paraffin gets inhaled when he sucks??? Plan B Pray like hell its a Total Fire Ban day and be ready with the backup of the airport fire crew with a tanker of flame ......ant foam... lets see how tuff the boy is without his incendiary scare tactics!!!
Tribalmasters.... Sheesh another contender ... points to corner " Hey did someone drop a pen-style or are they just glad to see me? " Sucker punch him while distracted .....Take that Pen boy !!!
Lordmage.... Again I am gonna have to go with the distraction technique ( ok ok ok , I know its getting old ) Open with the classic " Live long and Prosper " Vulcan handshake... at the last minute jab him in the eyes with both fingers a la three stooges , and do a little victory lap shouting " whooop whoooop whooop whooop ! " Captain's Log Stardate 1574... Beam him up Scotty !
TribbleTrouble.... I could try the distraction thing , but if he started trilling all would be lost ... best bet... hmmm, ok ties a length of fishing line to a mop head, as tribbles are very amorous creatures , he will definitely try to mate , while mounting said mop head he can be lured out of the arena into a waiting Star Cruiser for relocation...Take him home Mr Sulu !!!
Ikenmoke.... Another serious threat ... I will entrance him with shiny pieces of metal pipe given a clever two letter initial name... inside will be the classic "Snake in a Can" springy doo-hickey that will keep him amused for hours

... I can only hope his stamina wanes ... it will be a war of attrition ...
Candygirl.... Facing the unknown again... must remember that most girls with cutesy names spell trouble ( and I aint talking Tribbles Jim ! ) Not to be underestimated ... must look out for any cute ploys. As I am incredibly devoted to my life partner I will be immune from her wiles, I can use this to my advantage as she is probably used to men fawning at her.... point out all the cute men watching her and hope she falls for it !
Phalse... The Newcomer... slightly off-centre and not of this world... best hope? Point out he hasn't posted on ECF for at least 23 seconds and watch him hire a jet pak to get back to his PC and catch up
Disclaimer , I really hope I haven't offended anyone in the above , If I have feel free to let me know and I will trash talk you some more! What ? you expected a wussy arsed backdown? Not on this thread baby ... Bring it on ... You're all toast !!!! ( well except for the clown maybe ... hes making the toast !!! )
( P.S.... I have waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time on my hands thanks to this knee dammit !! )