My baby doesn't need me anymore

[Jules22871]

My baby girl is moving away. Her and her boyfriend are moving to Florida...Friday! She is the youngest of my three kids and the first to spread her wings. But it is breaking my heart. I don't know how to act not having her just a phone call away. I know it's a great opportunity for them. Better than what they would ever get here but my heart is still breaking. I have been crying and chain vaping 36mg for the last hour. I already miss her. How do you handle it when they grow up and don't need you anymore?

 

[Mary Kay]

Jules, my loopy friend, are you kidding? The answer is they NEVER stop needing you! As soon as the shiny wears off the new place..the calls will start. Mom..how do you do..whatever. Mom what is the recipe for...whatever food she is missing. Mom, I miss you! Mom, he's driving me nuts...on and on!
Once I even got a call whith my daughter screaming at me, it seemed my grandson locked his 2 year old self in the bathroom by opening a drawer and blocking the door. She was so frantic while waiting for the fire dept. she called to yell at ME! After the kid was saved..he fell asleep btw. She called to say she was sorry, but that she knew it was safe to yell at me. of course I had been baffled and in tears, but it was a good compliment after all. She knew I would forgive her and let her blow off steam. BTW she has never done it again. 1 freebie..that's it!

I moved to St. Cloud and left my old house to her. She and her husband and friends came to visit so much, Mike was ready to move to CA.!

Your kids will always need you..always.

 

[Jules22871]

I"m buying her a laptop before she goes, I told her I expect an email every day and she has her cell that is on the family plan so she has to text at least once a day too I never thought it would be so hard to let one go. Her brothers swear they are never leaving home and it's fine with me if they stay forever. I hope she keeps needing me because I sure need her.

 

[Kimerpuff]

my oldest is 23 now, she moved into her dorm at college at 18. after almost 2 years out she moved back to save money but now is back out on her own... of course a gentle push from mom helped make it happen hehe

MaryKay is so right, they never stop needing you! I cant count the number of times Ive transfered $20.00 for gas into her account - to get it back a week later lol or the mom how do i make dorito pie! (my kids fav food), how do i stick to a budget, on and on lol

Its hard to let them spread their wings, at first you worry alot! It will become less and less, never ending but not as bad as now. When you stop worrying as much you are going to be so very proud of her, making it on her own!

 

[Dolphin]

Jules--A very long time ago I was given what I thought was the best advice ever. It was that the most important thing I can do for my kids is to teach and allow them to be their own person and responsible for themselves. Kind of like the old story about holding the butterfly so close that you kill it, or holding it loose and giving it the freedom to live and then return.
And Mary Kay is so right--you have no idea how much smarter I became in my daughter's eyes when she became a mother herself. hehe She'll call me and inform me what "my granddaughter" just did; and I laugh and tell her I knew her mother at that age and did she want to know what Angel would try next? (Angel's 14 now)
They're in Arizona and my son is in Seattle so we are many miles away in distance, but we're very close in our hearts.
And this becomes the time in your life that you discover the wonderful person you are. It can be very rewarding for you!

 

[Mary Kay]

Hubby's favorite joke is:
When a young man called his mom and told her about life away from home. He complained of how much everthing cost and how hard it was to get by. His mom said she understood...and the kid say's "Mom, how would you know? You live at home!"

 

[Jules22871]

Thanks for all the cheering up. I'm kind of getting used to the idea. At least I'm not crying anymore,lol

 

[Cori]

When my son moved to Florida I felt like my heart was being ripped out. After about a week I started to accept it. I don't sit around worrying about him like I used to, and I know he's only a phone call away. I promise it will get easier.

If you're buying her a laptop..why not get her one with a webcam or buy the webcam seperately, and one for yourself. That way you can still see each other when you're talking? Just a thought.

 

[Mary Kay]

Glad to see you are doing good Cori! With them away, Thanksgiving or Christmas takes on new meaning. Homecomings are great!

 

[Jules22871]

Cori, that was a great idea. I did get the laptop and webcams for both of us! I would have never thought of that. They leave in the morning. I told her she better call as soon as she gets there. I know right where she is going to be at and I would be down there if she didn't,lol

 

[Mary Kay]

That will be great! I can see it now..the message thingy comes on and you have to duck and run to put on something decent!
You will have fun!

 

[Kate51]

Jules, So sorry you're feeling so bad....here's a little secret..they will be back! Mom is always Mom, and she's always going to be your baby. By now (she has a boy Friend,) she's been on her own to know how to get by, and I don't know how you were in your young life, but I thought moving away from home was just the Heaven's moving closer!
I wasn't so far that I couldn't go home if I wanted, but I worked hard, played hard, and managed ok. And enjoyed visiting and catching up, but it was finally my own life! We weren't on the phone all of the time, I think now that's a little different, but you will find that after all this time you really did have a life before kids! Now you can sit back and watch (even from a distance) all your handiwork of raising your brood, and now they'e ready to fly! So Bless your family and you, all that seemingly empty time will go by faster than it ever did before, with more for you to do than you ever imagined. It will just be different. This is what it's all about. They have got to live their own lives, and they will. You may as well let them do it with your blessing. You'll still be MOM!

 

[Jules22871]

That will be great! I can see it now..the message thingy comes on and you have to duck and run to put on something decent!
You will have fun!

I live on my couch in the living room so I always have to be decent,lol Don't need to traumatize anyone,lol

Jules, So sorry you're feeling so bad....here's a little secret..they will be back! Mom is always Mom, and she's always going to be your baby. By now (she has a boy Friend,) she's been on her own to know how to get by, and I don't know how you were in your young life, but I thought moving away from home was just the Heaven's moving closer!
I wasn't so far that I couldn't go home if I wanted, but I worked hard, played hard, and managed ok. And enjoyed visiting and catching up, but it was finally my own life! We weren't on the phone all of the time, I think now that's a little different, but you will find that after all this time you really did have a life before kids! Now you can sit back and watch (even from a distance) all your handiwork of raising your brood, and now they'e ready to fly! So Bless your family and you, all that seemingly empty time will go by faster than it ever did before, with more for you to do than you ever imagined. It will just be different. This is what it's all about. They have got to live their own lives, and they will. You may as well let them do it with your blessing. You'll still be MOM!

Good words and great advice. I know when I was her age I already had one child and was married. At least they are taking that part slow,lol It really is a great opportunity for them. We got on google map and looked up their house and I wouldn't mind living in it. It is really pretty nice.

The next couple fo days will be hard for me but I'll be okay and I know she will be too. It is only 6 hours to where she is and I can be there ever faster than that if I need to be. I hope she has fun down there!

 

[Kate51]

You will enjoy her new independance! Girls are hard ones to figure until they get out on their own and decide Mom wasn't so bad after all! My oldest (she's 40 this year) just told me the other day that she has become "me", she said "I sound just like you did!" She was always a child I couldn't discipline, she got such hurt feelings so always had to be careful with her phyche. She's such a good person. The other one I had to beat her to get her attention! (Well, I didn't beat her, but she had to be practically restrained!) She's still that way, just turned 38. She's her Father's child! A Hybrid. She's caused us a lot of hurt because it's all about her. But there's hope, I did just sent her off a BIG box of Janty Sticks and back-up pen-styles and a big tub of juice. She and BF just got them today. I hope she sticks with it.
But yes, you will take such pride in your youngest's life, and well you should. I wish all lots of luck. It will all come back to you Jules, all the care you've given.