Nagging Spouse Rant

[MalkinMania71]

So for the last 13 years of marriage and about 5 years of dating, I have had to endure the constant complaints about my smoking habit. The smell, the cost, the ashtrays, the ashes, the smell, oh yea said that. Anyway, now that I am 100% vaping, shouldn't my husband be done moaning?! Some people can't/won't be happy no matter what. When are you going to quit those things now, are you saving any money, you chain vape so aren't you getting more nicotine than before, and on and on. Does anyone else deal with this? I love my new hobby. I have converted friends and we swap juices and accessories. It's like a little group we have formed. Now our only conversations aren't just about our children and I am enjoying it quite frankly. I smoked for about 20 years and have only been vaping for 3 months, so I am not 100% off smokes and if he keeps pushing me. I am going to buy a pack of cigarettes just to spite him! No I'm not, but I feel like it sometimes. It is soo annoying. He still has his rub and drinks beer like its water, but I don't bi*** constantly about those things.

OK, I'm done ranting and I feel better. More or less, I just want to see if anyone else deals with this.

 

[dbrandt01]

Luckily I'm single so I don't have this problem, but my mom nags just as much about this. Explaining the whole concept to her is a bit rough, so I just listen to the nagging.

 

[wheezal]

Go big....leave evidence of a torrid affair or some blood stained weapons in the tool shed that hint you may be a serial killer. that will give him something else to rant about, then when you turn the tables on him and disprove his fears; instant perspective plus you have the upper hand for being falsely accused!

 

[crxess]

Have you ever asked what he thought he was getting?
Love is supposed to be about the whole package Good and Bad.

Never understood - I love you just the way you are............and then trying to change them.

My wife drives me nuts quite often - 40yrs together. That is my problem, I lover her in spite of as well as because of.

 

[Scootaloo]

Luckily I'm single so I don't have this problem, but my mom nags just as much about this. Explaining the whole concept to her is a bit rough, so I just listen to the nagging.

^^^^^^^^this^^^^^^^^^^^^

My mum has nagged me about vaping before to:

She may be warming to it, but she complains about the funny smell the juice I vape leaves, and I don’t think she can see round it being anything other than just an addiction to nicotine.

 

[realsis]

I'm so sorry your spouse isn't supportive. Honestly he should be proud of you for quitting smoking. Also vaping does not stink so what is his major malfunction? he should also respect you enough to know this is something that you really enjoy doing. I'm so sorry, I know it's none of my business but can you sit down and talk to him so he can understand this is something that makes you happy. he should support that and be glad for you. Maybe if you talk to him? Of course i understand some people there is no talking to. Again I'm sorry you can't just enjoy your vape. That's sad..

 

[Whampyri]

I feel your pain. My wife whined about me smoking ever since we got married, and now she's already bugging me about dropping nic level before I'm even fully off the smokes. Fortunately after 13 years of marriage I'm very adept at tuning her out

 

[exnihilo]

Simple: no snoo snoo until he's kept his mouth shut for a predetermined amount of time.

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk

 

[MalkinMania71]

Talking to him isn't going to work. I tried that. He just sees it as another habit and I am just substituting. It's just frustrating to hear it. It's probably only once a week but it feels like once a day.

 

[islandgirl305]

I stopped smoking after 26 yrs and my wife of 16 yrs about 5 yrs dating too loves I stopped and is very supportive - always asking what is that you are Vaping it smells good or I like that one - also I started with 18 mg nicotine but over a few months am now down to 0 nicotine - she is very proud of me and loves that I don't smoke anymore - I like that I don't smell like an ashtray and I feel a lot better too . You should just tell him would you rather I smoke that should keep him at bay - want the ashtrays back? This or that is what I would tell him I leave it up to you - but I would stay Vaping - they don't have triple berry cigarettes

 

[RosaJ]

Ask him why does he feel like he needs to fix you? Obviously he thinks you're broken...

In your mind, do you think the time will ever come when he's happy with you? What else will he want you to change after you give in to his desires about vaping? How long are you willing to wait? I'm sure in the beginning of your relationship you read his "opinion" as "he loves me so much he wants me to change because (fill in the blank)." After more than 10 years, it's not cute any more, but downright toxic.

Good luck to you. I sincerely hope you can work things out between you.

 

[WilsonR]

Is it the money or your health that he's concerned about? Either way, if you did what he asked to begin with which was get off the cigs, then I think he can do you a favor and cut back on his beer. because thats wasting money and its bad for him to. But thats just me.

 

[Skeebo]

Husbands are like your pinky finger. You don't want anything to happen it, but you sure could live without it.

 

[Tinkiegrrl]

I'm sorry OP. Luckily, mine also smoked, and he switched to vaping around a week after I did. Although he understands that simply quitting is almost impossible for me because it's also almost impossible for him, he doesn't quite understand the hobby aspect. He vapes to get his nic fix. His ultimate goal is to wean it down and quit vaping. As I've upgraded his equipment along with mine though, the nagging regarding the spending has gone down at least...

 

[yzer]

My wife is just happy that I quit smoking. She doesn't give me any trouble about vaping. Then again she never gave me any grief about smoking either. I always smoked outdoors in my garage/workbench/man cave. We don't have a lot to bicker over. I'm an atheist, the is an ordained Episcopal priest. (I do hear jokes about being married to a priest.) Her first career was in microbiology designing GMO plants. Mine was in broadcasting. Go figure.

 

[Asbestos4004]

Yep, I heard it for the first 6 months. I gave her a provari and a kayfun. Shut her right up. She's been smoke free ever since. That was a year ago. We just had our 20 year anniversary and that was the first and only time I ever successfully shut her up. Damn, I love that woman!

 

[Elizabeth Baldwin]

My husband also smoked and also switched to vaping shortly after me. We both buy vaping gear, eliquids, and DIY supplies together. It's actually helped us bond more. A common interest. After being married for many years you sort of do your own little hobbies, but this is one thing we do together.

I'm sorry your husband isn't more supportive. You'd think he would rather you Vape than smoke and if vaping keeps you from smoking it should be accepted. Every time he complained I'd just look at him and say well if you are going to complain about this too I'm just going back to smoking. I'd make it look serious too. Maybe he will slow down if he thinks you really would go back. Who knows!

Good luck. I hope things improve for you.

 

[Rat2chat2]

Congratulation on your accomplishment. Everyone here is proud of you because we understand just what it all means. That is part of what makes ecf so darn special. If you have tried to talk to him about this and still nothing has changed, you just have to accept him the way he is and keep on doing what you know is healthier, less expensive and more enjoyable. Good luck to you and for what it is worth.......I am proud of you and wish you continued vaping success.

 

[RedForeman]

Talking to him isn't going to work. I tried that. He just sees it as another habit and I am just substituting. It's just frustrating to hear it. It's probably only once a week but it feels like once a day.

Sounds like there's a bigger problem than your habit of the day. Like maybe he's got a habit of putting you down to make himself feel more righteous or in control.

PS. If you can't do as you please (vaping or anything else for that matter), within reason, why do you put up with it? Life is too short to put up with that crap.

 

[Bunnykiller]

Its just him.... you could quit smoking, vaping, everything he fusses about... and something new would show up for him to fuss about, hes just a fusser