Need Help Convincing the Wife

[OneBucDad]

Hello, pretty new member here. I started vaping about 6 mos ago and only recently have been analog free. I am trying to convince my wife to quit smoking as well. I am not having a whole bunch of success here.

I think the real issue is that she doesn't want to quit. She knows they are unhealthy. I am an ER nurse and we have discussed this greatly. She doesn't like the fact that she smokes, but really has no desire to try and stop. Does any have some similar experiences or maybe some advice that might be able to help. I would apprciate anything you can offer.

 

[SudokuGal]

If you're in the Tampa Bay area, maybe she'd come with you to our August meetup in Bradenton...maybe be around other people who are vaping might open her mind to it.
Click on the link in my signature for the details of the meetup.

Best wishes!

 

[Dee74]

Hello, pretty new member here. I started vaping about 6 mos ago and only recently have been analog free. I am trying to convince my wife to quit smoking as well. I am not having a whole bunch of success here.

I think the real issue is that she doesn't want to quit. She knows they are unhealthy. I am an ER nurse and we have discussed this greatly. She doesn't like the fact that she smokes, but really has no desire to try and stop. Does any have some similar experiences or maybe some advice that might be able to help. I would apprciate anything you can offer.

Yes, I am a nurse and my husband talked me into trying the Blu as that is what his friends had, so against my own feelings as I also had no desire to quit, I did order it. Then started some research and then found this forum.

The next day I ordered the Joye 510 with a small bottle of juice from Cignot and a sample pack of tobacco flavors from Vapor Station.

The blue arrived and I tried it for 2 days, liked the flavor hated to little carts. My 510 arrived along with VS juices. I have not smoked another analog since and I now love to vape. My sense of smell is better, stamina way better, not short of breath very much and I am only about 30 days in and I was sure I would die smoking. Find a couple of juices she likes and stand back.
I am enjoying trying the various juice companies and am now loving that I can pick lots of great flavors (I'm a tobacco girl) I mean who know TN Flu Cured is so tasty! And a nice after dinner coffee calorie free, what a find, thank God and my DH for turning me on the this. Good luck to her and you.

 

[DaveP]

We all have to decide that it's time to quit. In my case, it was the question, "Will I live long enough to spend my retirement money or will I spend my retirement wheeling around an oxygen tank?"

Young people seldom think that way. It's just fun when you are young and invincible.

 

[Raoult]

I'm having the same experience, but I feel the problem is routine and the same affect. It's hard to get the same experience from smoking with vaping which is the problem I'm having. The only way your wife is gonna quit is either an alternative or being forced into it. I don't think being forced to quit is a good idea, because it could make her relapse making her smoking consumption even worse. If you can get her to vape she could gradually decrease her consumption to where she can quit. The plan I'm trying to use is each month decrease the nicotine levels from the e-juice in vaping where I don't need it anymore. Problem I'm having right now is I can't get that same feel and taste down yet, but I'm trying my best and eventually I think I can find a solution. I don't think you can really convince her, but you can try to help her out by switching to a healthier solution. If you can keep her occupied enough to take her mind off of smoking that really helps out.

 

[AmyB66]

Same trouble here with my husband. They will quit when they want to. I would suggest getting a good mod that can run at 3.7 and 6 volts (mine is a chuck) and get her some 510 cartos. It's the easiest fuss free way to vape IMO. I couldn't get off the analogs till I got one, the 510's just weren't enough. I was using a joy510 and between dealing with atty primer, carts and dying batteries along with just not getting that ''hit'', I couldn't completely quit.

It still takes some doing, the body still goes through adjustments when getting off the smokes. Hook her up with the above and a variety of juice. Let here give it a shot, worst case you get to add her stuff to your stash so it isn't like it goes to waste.

If all else fails, give her an additional incentive, a nice little bribe if you will. But bottom line, they have to want to quit. I wanted to quit for health reason, I noticed the toll the smoking was taking on my breathing etc but I liked to smoke, it wasn't easy but I've been completely off cigs for well over four months now and while there are days a real smoke seems like it would be tempting, I know I've come too far to cheat it.

Set her up and have it available to her, the rest is up to her. With my husband, begging, nagging, making that disapproval face does not work so I just am going to keep some faith that eventually he'll come around. He has two real cool custom chucks I had designed for him, he loves them, just doesn't use them. Hoping the day will soon come, I always keep them charged and recharge after they sit for several weeks, ready and waiting for the day he'll come around.

 

[HeatherC]

My husband said over and over again he had no desire to quit! It was either in April or May he rushed me to the hospital cuz I was having severe chest pain and shortness of breath I could have sworn I was having a heart attack at 38 years old!! I wasn't thank the good lord, BUT I did have pleurisy. As you probably know it hurts to breathe!! I decided to quit smoking...tried the gum again...I had tried chantix and decided it wasn't worth projectile vomiting (just not fun LOL) So I decided that the ecig was the way to go for me. A week after I started mine he told me to buy him a bottle of juice so he could just try it. He STILL said he had no intention of quitting. 4 days after his juice came...HE got rid of all the ashtrays in our house...he GAVE away a carton of cigs he had just bought AND he had everyone he works with (he works 3rd shift so it comes to a total of 4 people) convinced to try ecigs!!
I'm actually convinced that you can't TALK someone into wanting to use this as a quit method. As I told my 6 yr old nephew when he told me to tell my dad about it...Its got to be his choice. (so my nephew told me to make sure I used my PV every time grandpa lit up kids and their ideas LOL) Grandpa still has not decided to try it (he's a diabetic and he had a heart attack 5 yrs ago) BUT I have a tobacco free house and my 15 yr old son loves it. IMHO Keep up the good thing you are doing for yourself and maybe she'll follow at some point.

 

[HeatherC]

We all have to decide that it's time to quit. In my case, it was the question, "Will I live long enough to spend my retirement money or will I spend my retirement wheeling around an oxygen tank?"

Young people seldom think that way. It's just fun when you are young and invincible.

GOSH to be that young again!

 

[AmyB66]

We all have to decide that it's time to quit. In my case, it was the question, "Will I live long enough to spend my retirement money or will I spend my retirement wheeling around an oxygen tank?"

Young people seldom think that way. It's just fun when you are young and invincible.

Ah yes, I started young, around 17, figured I'd quit before I was twenty, I wouldn't smoke forever and end up being one of those old farts with emphysema. Twenty changed to 25, then to 30 then it was fear of massive weight gain, then again quit by the time I was 40. After that it was once I get done with this stressful tax season, then some other crazy thing would stop me, too much stress. Yeah, my life has gotten even more stressful, even the doctor said now might not be a good time to quit as my anxiety etc was really causing me some health issues (in this economy, who isn't stressed out?) Anyhoo, I hit 44, two of my kids are now young adults and I realized that I want to live and be healthy enough to enjoy life when things do get better, I want to play with my grandkids, I want them to sleep over, not have my kids refuse to let them over because of second hand smoke. I was finding myself waking up with a tight chest and thinking damn, of all things that can hurt a body, arthritis etc, not being able to take a deep breath without pain has got to be the worst thing one has to live with.

I vape constantly, still enjoy the motions of ''smoking'' most do because it is a habit that we've had for decades. But I don't cough, don't stink, can climb up hills, don't have near the sinus headaches........while no one has 100% determined there are no long term side effects to vaping, this sure beats smoking and yes, someday when my family grows and I am an old lady I hope to be able to keep up with the future little ones. I am so thankful for this alternative.

Had a young girl over here with my son yesterday, she was smoking. Said she hated the smell etc but it helped her anxiety. She was smoking menthol marls so I went inside, fixed her up a six volt chuck with some halo menthol and a dash of TV's AC as she said she liked cinnamon. Handed it over to her for the afternoon. She said she'd much rather vape than smoke and said, I bet when I light up a cig it will taste really gross after this. Her intentions are to order her own. I really hope she does.

 

[keyzygirl]

Maybe something simple like a KR808 would make it easier for her to try.I got some pink xlong batts and cartos from V4L for when I was out and it made it seem more natural.Now I dont care and I use mods.

 

[Saintscruiser]

My husband quit smoking 5 years ago.....cold turkey. He told me it had nothing to do with me, as it was his decision only. He promised not to become a .....y ex-smoker, and he didn't. He was wonderful about it, because he knew I WOULDN'T QUIT UNTIL I WAS READY. No amount of fussing, nagging, etc. would help me in the least. That's how stubborn I was. Smoking analogs was something he and I had in common and POOF that was gone. It kind of scared me, really. That bond was gone....you know, "US vs THEM!" I felt he was going to start judging me too.

Now, they are smart enough to know that you've quit and that you're expecting them to do the same.....they are rebelling. I would have. The reason is that it's a personal decision that only that person can make. ....even if you're being nice about it. I continued to smoke in the house and car. Nothing reached me until I saw an e-cig commercial on tv. I even watched my mom die of lung cancer last Oct. and I smoked more. The only person you can change is yourself.

If their smoking is hindering your quitting, then mention it and hopefully they will be considerate and find a different part of the house or favorite tree in the backyard. If it's not, be quiet until they come to you....and they will. I pray it won't take them all 5 years like it did me.

 

[Huff-N-Puff]

I keep saying this on threads like this, you are not going to ever make anyone quit smoking unless you lock them in a basement with no way of escape for a couple of months.

You just can't force anyone to do anything if we're adults. It won't work.

 

[HeatherC]

keyzygirl---just wanted to say If you see my mind while you're looking for yours will you let me know? I lost mine so long ago I can't remember where I left it LOL

 

[The Big Chief]

My wife was the same way. Took her a month past me quiting before she did. She slowly worked into it. Just setup the hubby with a good working 510 and a decent flavor, and he'll pick it up on his own time and eventually figure out he doesnt want analogs

 

[AmyB66]

Saints, you made me kinda laugh on the rebellious thing. Aint't that the truth! The more you want someone to give up an addictive habit, the more you bug them over it, the more they'll do it. Yep, we are adults and it is up to us to decide when but dang can we all act like children at times. That's why I leave hubby alone. Amazing thing is, in the past, when I quit, second hand smoke really got to me bad. I was always one of those I smoke but I mind if you do people. Never liked it unless I too was smoking. With the vaping, the smokers fumes don't bother near like they use to.

 

[Art-n-Cate]

Hello, pretty new member here. I started vaping about 6 mos ago and only recently have been analog free. I am trying to convince my wife to quit smoking as well. I am not having a whole bunch of success here.

I think the real issue is that she doesn't want to quit. She knows they are unhealthy. I am an ER nurse and we have discussed this greatly. She doesn't like the fact that she smokes, but really has no desire to try and stop. Does any have some similar experiences or maybe some advice that might be able to help. I would apprciate anything you can offer.

Hi OneBucDad,

Like your wife, I didn't want to quit either. Didn't think I could. And I knew all about the dangers but they wouldn't happen to me...
Then an MRI revealed I'd had at least two small strokes.

I have a five year-old.

Believe it or not, I went from a two pack a day smoker to a vaper - overnight. So did my husband and he's smoked for 45 years.

It wasn't hard at all. Really. In fact, I've had more fun doing this then I ever did with analogs. I'll admit I did have some Xanax on hand but I also had tons of other stressors besides dumping the analogs.

Now I 'reward' myself with new juice flavors, an awesome case, battery bling - you name it. And still spending less than I would be on the analogs.

Hope this helps!

 

[Art-n-Cate]

My husband quit smoking 5 years ago.....cold turkey. He told me it had nothing to do with me, as it was his decision only. He promised not to become a .....y ex-smoker, and he didn't. He was wonderful about it, because he knew I WOULDN'T QUIT UNTIL I WAS READY. No amount of fussing, nagging, etc. would help me in the least. That's how stubborn I was. Smoking analogs was something he and I had in common and POOF that was gone. It kind of scared me, really. That bond was gone....you know, "US vs THEM!" I felt he was going to start judging me too.

Now, they are smart enough to know that you've quit and that you're expecting them to do the same.....they are rebelling. I would have. The reason is that it's a personal decision that only that person can make. ....even if you're being nice about it. I continued to smoke in the house and car. Nothing reached me until I saw an e-cig commercial on tv. I even watched my mom die of lung cancer last Oct. and I smoked more. The only person you can change is yourself.

If their smoking is hindering your quitting, then mention it and hopefully they will be considerate and find a different part of the house or favorite tree in the backyard. If it's not, be quiet until they come to you....and they will. I pray it won't take them all 5 years like it did me.

Saint Cruiser, I am so proud of you! You've come a long way, girl!
(And I owe you a PM. Things have been hectic and I've got lots to share!)

 

[jj2]

I got a friend that I'd love to get switched over. I mean it's sort of necessary---diabetic and coughs her head off constantly.
I tread softly because once she has set her mind to something, God himself isn't going to change it. Even though she constantly says she needs to quit, I know she is not ready to make the leap yet.

I vape around her all the time. Just recently she admitted the vapor smells good. I tell her about every yummy flavor I try. The last was cotton candy and she has a sweat tooth. Yes, I said she is diabetic, Type 2, and TG the pills take care of it because she has done little to eliminate the sugar.
With the cotton candy, I offered it for her to try, and after a year, she almost excepted. Maybe it'll take another year to actually get her to but I will keep on subtlety trying. Patience is a virtue.


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[HeatherC]

If patience is a virtue, I'm not particularly virtuous.

 

[shanagan]

I keep saying this on threads like this, you are not going to ever make anyone quit smoking unless you lock them in a basement with no way of escape for a couple of months.

You just can't force anyone to do anything if we're adults. It won't work.

I agree so wholeheartedly with this. My feeling is that most of us who smoke(d) are defiant buggers. Society has spent a lot of time and effort making us feel like pariahs. So we got tougher and more defiant as the years went by. Years of conditioning has taught us to have an "eff you, it's legal, and as long as it is, you can't tell me to quit" attitude.

And when someone does tell us to quit (in particular loved ones)? We build a better wall. We start to see ourselves in that US v. THEM fight and it becomes a hill we'll die on. Literally. That starts to creep into every smoker's thought sooner or later. We'll die on this hill. Wait, really? Is it worth it?

Then and only then can the smoker herself decide it's time to give it up. In the meantime, I'd definitely buy an eGo set, some killer juices from freedomsmokeusa or whatever your favorite vendor is, and just let it be there for when she decides to give it a go "for real."