No WITNESSES!!!

[Drewsworld]

A man walks into a bank, gets in line,
and when it is his turn
he pulls out a gun and robs the bank.

To make sure he leaves no witnesses
he turns around and asks the next customer in line,
"Did you see me rob this bank?"
The customer replies, "Yes," whereupon the robber
shoots him and kills him.

The robber quickly moves to the next customer in line
and says to the man, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man calmly responds, "No, but my wife did."

 

[alphafemale]

cute that could be reversed too lol

 

[Up In Vapor]

 

[needvapor]

Cute Drew!!
I gotta good one... from a True Floridian.. well I am considered a transplant but here ya go!
[FONT=times new roman,helvetica]Hick computer terms[/FONT]

[FONT=times new roman,helvetica]Redneck computer terms

Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter.

Log Off: Don't add no wood.

Monitor: Keepin' an eye on the wood stove.

Download: Gettin' the firewood off the pickup.

Mega Hertz: When yer not careful down loadin'.

Floppy Disk: Whatcha git from pilin' too much firewood.

Ram: The hydrolic thingy that splits the firewood.

Hard Drive: Getting' home in the winter season.

Prompt: What you wish the mail was in the winter.

Windows: What to shut when it's below 15 below.

Screen: What 'cha need for the black fly season.

Byte: That's what the flies do.

Chip: What to munch on.

Micro Chip: What's left in the bottom of the bag.

Infrared: Where the left-overs go when Fred's around.

Modem: What 'cha did to the hay fields.

Dot Matrix: Farmer Matrix's wife.

Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy.

Keyboard: Where ya hang your keys.

Software: Them plastic eatin' utensils.

Mouse: Whats eats the horses grain.

Main Frame: Hold up the barn roof.

Port: Fancy wine.

Enter: C'mon in.

Random Access Memory: You can't remember whatcha' paid for that new rifle when your wife asks.


[/FONT]

 

[laurel099]

That was hilarious Drew!! Thanks... Maybe taking my hubby to the bank today LMAO!

 

[crashtestjeep]

Pretty darn funny!

 

[Wormwood]

ive actually used this joke after reading it from drew......hilarious

 

[alphafemale]

Had to post this:

A respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, 'I would like to buy some cyanide'

The pharmacist asked, 'Why in the world do you need cyanide?'

The lady replied, 'I need it to poison my husband.'

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, 'Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!'

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, 'Well now, that's different. You didn't tell me you had a prescription

 

[OC513]

Gotta love the Irish........

Paddy has broken his leg and his buddy Mick comes over to see him.

Mick says, "How you doin?"

"Paddy says, "Okay, but do me a favour mate, run upstairs and get me slippers, me feet are freezing."

Mick goes upstairs and sees Paddy's gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters lying on the bed.

He says, "Your dad's sent me up here to have sex with both of you."

They say, "Get away with ya.... prove it."

Mick shouts downstairs, "Paddy, both of em?"

Paddy shouts back, "Of course both of em, what's the point of ****in one?"

 

[laurel099]

LMAO!!!! My hubby is Irish He'd love that joke!!!!!

 

[Drewsworld]

Lmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!