NotCigs refugee thread

[salemgold]

TMI alert, you may not want to read. I just need to vent.

Well it wasn't a good weekend for us. Our oldest daughter has been back to her old ways and we had to have an intervention Saturday. She is starting detox today though so hopefully things will get better and stay better for a at least a little while. She had picked up her 1 year chip last summer and she seemed to have actually earned it, so we let her move back in with us. She was working 3 days a week for a lawyer. Going to meetings. Following the rules. Then she had toothache, the tooth got pulled but she apparently convinced the dr she needed Percocet for the pain. She stopped going to work. She cut back on the number of meetings she went to ( the snow storm and subsequent snow problems helped her too.)I think once she got a little she wanted more, we're still not sure how she was getting it now. That was 2 months ago. At least she was willing to go to detox.

Oh and did I tell you she is pregnant and due the beginning of March.

So obviously things have been rough around the house. My wife is completely frazzled. I feel exhausted.

(((Oly))) I am so sorry to hear this. Let me just say that I know your pain. We have a person in the family dealing with addiction only she is not really dealing with it. Refuses to get any help at all. I am so very sorry for you and your wife. My family has dealt with this many, many years and know only too well what it is like. Hugs and prayers for you and your family, Oly. Like you mentioned, at least she is willing to get help.

My son just went to yet another funeral on Sunday for a guy that he grew up with that overdosed. This is at least the 5th one since my son has been an adult. Without getting on a soap box or too heavily into how I feel, it is one helluva world out there. I can easily see how young folks may feel hopeless and helpless.

We are all ex smokers so we know addiction even if it is only of tobacco. We know what a life long battles it is just to stay off the cigs. Gives me some empathy for those dealing with heavier stuff.

 

[salemgold]

Thanks, I've never had to deal with addiction personally and just don't understand it. I don't think anyone can that hasn't gone through it. It is just crushing my wife so I've got to deal with Beth (dd), Joanne (DW), and the rest of the family. Sure seems like we have just kept going from 1 family crisis to another for the last several years. It really starts wearing you down so much.

I know. It really does wear you down. All you can really do is to give as much support and encouragement. They really have to want to get clean for intervention to even have a chance.

 

[salemgold]

I had a doc ( in this case, drug of choice) back in the day too. Methamphetamine. I liked it a lot! Even after having two of my babies, I dabbled in it and it got the best of me. I was 90 some pounds, clothes hanging on me, and ashamed at the image staring back in the mirror.
The hurt and fear in my mother and my aunts eyes plus knowing my girls deserved much better is what turned me around. It wasn't easy but I did it and never looked back. Makes me sick even now when I think of it.

Me too, Tracy. Truth be told, I have not been around it in years. Can't say that I know for certain how things would go if I were. I just keep myself out of the type of situations where I might just find out.

Got to be careful what we say here

 

[Bovinia]

Oly, the best way to not feel alone is knowing and hearing others' journeys. I hope you know that we are all not just praying for your daughter and unborn, but also for you and your wife. Sadly, sometimes love means distancing yourself. You have set the tools in front of your daughter, but only she can choose what to do with them.

Huge hugs Tracy and Salem, thank you both for sharing. We've all walked through hell and back

 

[Wharf Rat]

Yep, all the above... and more. Right there with you Tracy. Mrs Wharf caught me in the garage with glass and a propane blow torch. She was non too happy. So my brilliant idea, hop on the Freeway at 70mph with blow torch and all..... SMH !!!.... I played with a couple of dragons.... But the first time I got kracked... OH MY ~ My friend wanted to show me how to cook. I got up to and something deep inside stopped me and said íf you do this, you will die'. It was too much fun but one of the few times I was smart enough to RUN !!

 

[Wharf Rat]

Oly there are several resources for you and your wife. Both al anon and narcanon are for the user's loved ones. Mrs Wharf went to those meetings and I went to NA and AA. It helped her a lot to hear and share with others going through the same situations.

Another good resource is therapy. Many ins plans have a certain amount of sessions at no charge. Mrs Wharf and I went for 6 years. I would still be going but when we moved I didn't want to start all over again.

 

[FranC]

 

[Bovinia]

Morning folks

 

[salemgold]

Good morning, all.

Been on the phone all morning with my insurance company. Really did not start my day off well but, I am determined to make it better

I have to take mom to oncologist today. They will be checking to see if the cancer has returned. All positive thoughts accepted and appreciated.

 

[salemgold]

@Wharf, good for you on knowing when to say enough. I never had concerns of DH catching me because we were both in the same boat. We have been together since teenagers in the late 70s. It was alot of fun and I can't honestly say that I have any regrets. I will say that I often wonder how we survived though.

 

[Bovinia]

I have decided I would rather take a habanero pepper enema that take Katie to the grocery store! Roaming up and down every isle for 2 hours, then I get in line to check out, look up and she's nowhere in site. Paid the bill, loaded it all in the car, went back in and finally found her with more junk food in her hands

Rant over

 

[daleron]

Happy 5th ECF-aversary Wuzznt Me!!!

Carry on

 

[908Tracy]

Woot woot! Congrats Wuz!!!!

 

[Bovinia]

Congratz Wuzz!!

 

[FranC]

Congrats,Wuzz

 

[FranC]

 

[salemgold]

I have decided I would rather take a habanero pepper enema that take Katie to the grocery store! Roaming up and down every isle for 2 hours, then I get in line to check out, look up and she's nowhere in site. Paid the bill, loaded it all in the car, went back in and finally found her with more junk food in her hands

Rant over

Buwhahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! I hear you, Bov. My mom doesn't go back once we are in line but, she loads up on the junk food.

There is a Walmart Express directly across from the health campus that I take her to for most of her tests and Dr appts. I know without a doubt that we will be in that Walmart anytime we have to go to the health campus. They have these cheese danish and napolean's that she LOVES. My sister and I laugh because when she buys all that they have, her famous saying is that they freeze so well Keep in mind that she is diabetic. With a sweet tooth like I have never seen before.

Can't really blame her though. She is at an age where she is going to enjoy the stuff that she likes.

We do have to walk every single aisle so that she can look at and read labels of every single thing they have though. This is her only form of entertainment so I just enjoy it with her as best as I am able to.

 

[salemgold]

Woohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Congratulations, Wuzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[oly_r]

OOOO Rah Wuzz

 

[Bovinia]

This is the first time she has wandered away once we were in the check out line. I know it's an adventure for her, but after 2 hours and every isle, I'm at the end of my patience LOL! Once we get home and start unpacking, she is surprised all over again at what she tossed into her shopping cart. Fortunately she doesn't have to worry about how much she spends, but she would never make it on a tight budget. One of the main problems is freezer space...she loves to buy frozen stuff, but refuses to let me plug in and run the small freezer I have in the basement because it might cost an extra couple of dollars a month on the electric bill. I have to trow out more wasted food each month than that freezer would cost to run for a year.

Guess I better put some habaneros in the garden this spring