Very interesting!. looking at this thread, this is the first time this morning I thought about the depression... I was extremely anxious before. I think that I was still feeling some of it, so started this thread. on Saturday, I was thinking that that there is something majorly wrong with me and had to force myself to post about it at all. It was all my fault.
Yes anxiety can be a problem for many people. That said I don't see what you are fault for. If any thing I would say that getting on the forum and posting about problems is a major help. It is of course no substitute for professional help when you need it. However, I feel that many problems can be solved simply by social interaction. That said I would not, personally, bear my soul on other forums; ECF has a totally different feel to it than many other forums. I've yet to see anyone be trolled here for posting about any problem they have be it vaping related, emotional venting, or what have you--other forums one can't really do that without being trolled. ECF is special, in that regard--and that is a good thing.
Today, it seems so natural and reasonable that I must have been self-medicating for 30 years. During that time, I knew I would be able to stop smoking if I wanted to but never could pin down why I didn't want to. Now I feel like I have an answer. Coolness.
I am calm and reasonable. and I think I'm ready to get myself into work and do a good job without straining to be pleasant!
Thanks to everyone for the help and research!
Ah yes the self-medication, well Kena I don't really know when you started smoking. I started when I was 12 or 13 and smoked for 20 years. It is possible that since nicotine is hypothesized to have antidepressant properties that smoking masked some of the depression symptoms. Also tobacco smoke has MAOIs in it and many MAOIs are used to treat depression.
So yes there may be a self-medication factor going on here.
I consciously self-medicate for my ADHD. It started with caffeine. ADHD is usually treated with stimulant prescription drugs (Ritalin, Adderall, a few others) within the amphetamine family. It is my belief that these prescription drugs are extremely dangerous, and also likely to be highly addictive, also I did not like the side effects when I was taking them (they made me feel like dung). However, I found that an espresso in the morning and an espresso in the afternoon helped me manage my attention span (or lack thereof) without those side effects. Worst side effect I've had to date is that if I drink an espresso or a brewed coffee after 4pm I won't get to sleep until late, and if I don't eat regularly I'll have heart burn. Nicotine is also a stimulant, though a faster acting one. So my (so not a doctor) gut reaction is that it evens out the slower acting caffeine. Also caffeine and nicotine play well together. When I smoked I liked to drink coffee and smoke, now I like to drink coffee and vape.
Of course, I could be completely off about this hypothesis. I have also since I was taking prescription ADHD medications also removed most
refined sugars (white table sugar*, white bread, high fructose corn syrup, and etc) from my diet and it is possible that removing those refined sugars may have solved the problem or contributed to solving it.
(*there is a common myth that brown sugar is a less refined substitute for white sugar. However this is not true. In the US most brown sugars are white sugar that has had the molasses added back to it as a coloring and flavoring agent. "Raw sugar" is better as a sweetener than white sugar as it still contains some of the larger sugar cane juice molecules, I'm told by some of my Latin American co-workers that whole cane sugar is even better but I can't seem to find it anywhere, that were not extracted in the removal of the molasses. That said the best sugar I've found is actually Panela, an unrefined "brick" or "cone" type sugar from Columbia, though other countries--notably Mexico--also produce it.)
Panela - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia