Ok. Thank you everyone for your advice, and your concern. I appreciate it!
I have always had a weird fascination with addiction for some reason, and wanted to experience it first hand. E-cigs seemed like a rather harmless way to do so. But perhaps I am biting off more than I can chew, eh?
OK - I may be biting off more than I can chew, and I'm ready for the potential back-lash, but I feel so compelled to respond to the above statement.
There is nothing wrong with having a
"weird fascination" with addiction. Do you really want to experience it first hand? To me, that is no different than saying, "I'm fascinated with Metastatic Osteosarcoma and I really want to experience it first hand." I'm sorry, no - you don't.
Addiction is disease, period. Addiction is chronic, complex, resistant to treatment and subject to relapse. It is physiological and psychological compulsivity. Addicts are aware of the negative consequences, yet prioritize their lives in order to satisfy the compulsions because in that moment, they have no choice.
None of us woke up one day saying, "Today is the day I'm going to become an addict!" I don't care if the substance is delivered via a cigarette, a bottle, a needle, a pill, a computer screen or the refrigerator, it's all addiction. The only variance is dependent on the substance, the severe negative consequences aren't as obvious to society as a whole, making some addictions "more acceptable" than others.
We have all sacrificed more money than we care to admit because cigarettes had to be priority. I can admit that the money I've spent on cigarettes could have benefited my children, helped pay my bills, enhance my lifestyle, etc. Yet - even with that knowledge, I kept smoking, because I felt I had no other option. The addict voice over rides everything else and tricks you into believing there is no other choice, no other way.
It does not change the fact that those of us here have known for a very long time that we are helpless and powerless over our addiction to cigarettes. A lot of us even gave up hope and accepted the fact that although we may die a slow painful death, there is nothing that can help us quit and stay quit. We've tried everything, and failed, many times.
If you really want to experience "addiction", please go to an open AA or NA meeting, they are held everywhere all times of the day and night. Sit there and listen, really listen to what people are saying.
Go to school and study addiction, become a substance abuse counselor and help addicts. There are many ways to satisfy your fascination with addiction other than choosing what you believe may be the "less harmful" substance and becoming an addict yourself. By doing that, you will lose the cognitive ability to be objective and "fascinated" with the concept, you'll become the concept. The fascination, once reality, will bring negative consequences.
We all would not be here supporting each other through this process otherwise.
Asking for assistance in becoming an addict is lunacy. Wanting to educate yourself about addiction is brilliant. There is a huge difference in those statements.
When I learned about this device that could potentially end my compulsion for cigarettes, I knew that it would not cure my addiction. It is only a tool to help me
manage what over time, became unmanageable. It would only help my body heal from all the damage I've done to it over the years and deliver the substance in a less harmful way.
The psychology of addiction is fascinating. There is much more to it than the substance. There is the ritual, the tools, the triggers - all of us have those. We are trying to re-wire our brains not by doing without and suffering, which we know will result in failure, but by changing the rituals, tools, etc. and being hopeful that we will succeed.
Please, rethink your original post. I don't know how old you are, I am suspecting you are young.
Why would you give up your freedom and choose enslavement to anything? I can't wrap my brain around that.
/end rant
Remie
*The definition of insanity is repeating the same behavior over, and over, expecting a different outcome*