Then MechModMan hit on the novel idea of owning an Ocelot instead. Perhaps he was influenced by his participation on a particular forum but he decided right then and there that he wouldnt be happy unless he owned one.
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All of a sudden, the Kool-Aid Man busted through the wall. "HEY KIDS!", he exclaimed. Peter Dinklage was riding his back like Master Blaster in Mad Max Beyond Thunderdrome. "C'mon, you can't get rid of me that easily", he chided.
Mechmod mad then attempted a heroic act no mod had ever done before. He wrapped a .00000001 ohm coil and stacked 15 dozen 19890 batteries to run his wattage up to over 9000. he then put his coil into kool aid mans pitcher and vaped his entire life force into the sky.
Oddly enough this repaired the earth's ozone hole and polar bears all over the worl...uhh poles thanked him as their habitats were restored.
Oddly enough this repaired the earth's ozone hole and polar bears all over the worl...uhh poles thanked him as their habitats were restored.
But Peter Dinklage was quick to react. He pulled out a nearby hose and, loosing a backpack full of Kool-Aid packets and sugar, had Kool-Aid Man back to working order before anyone could react. He climbed his back once again and began to rampage the area, vaping an off-brand APV and blowing clouds of toxic waste every which way, like a dragon run out of fire; all smoke and no flames.
And all the people cheered! Except for one emo kid standing in the corner.He never cheered about anything except when he snuck into peoples houses in the middle of the night and unscrewed the tops of their e-juice bottles causing them to leak all over peoples laps.
His real name was mortimer but most people called him.....
His real name was mortimer but most people called him.....
Sneaky Leaky.....but he was nicknamed that even before he started making ejuice bottles leak.......you see, he was a bed-wetter, and had a complex about that.
Standing out from the rest, he became the first target of the Kool-Aid Man and Peter Dinklage's rage. They swooped him up like a discarded toy and away he went, dissolved into the vat of Kool-Aid that was Kool-Aid man, with nary a blink from the red behemoth. "Kool-Aid!", he bellowed.
"How do you think we get the red color in the Kool-Aid? MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!", Peter Dinklage guffawed like a madman lost in his own fantasy world. The crowd looked on in stunned disbelief as the Master Blaster combination Kool-Aid Man and Peter Dinklage plunged through the opposite wall without remorse and disappeared.
"We'll be back when you least expect it", Peter chimed in from the distance, his voice barely heard above the din of the screaming mass.
(Game of Thrones fan side note: he said this very thing to Cersei after she punished his "girlfriend" who was a decoy. He didn't appreciate the fact that she was harming an innocent girl (who was not the same girl as in the books))
"How do you think we get the red color in the Kool-Aid? MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!", Peter Dinklage guffawed like a madman lost in his own fantasy world. The crowd looked on in stunned disbelief as the Master Blaster combination Kool-Aid Man and Peter Dinklage plunged through the opposite wall without remorse and disappeared.
"We'll be back when you least expect it", Peter chimed in from the distance, his voice barely heard above the din of the screaming mass.
(Game of Thrones fan side note: he said this very thing to Cersei after she punished his "girlfriend" who was a decoy. He didn't appreciate the fact that she was harming an innocent girl (who was not the same girl as in the books))
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Little did they know that "when they least expected it" would be sooner than they could imagine. The dastardly duo were hatching a plan so devious even Adolf Hitler would have been disgusted at it's brutality.
It's true! As the unlikely duo left everyone behind, we turn now to the story of Dinklage and his Kool-Aid Man mount. The Kool-Aid Man lumbered like a mighty hulk down the street, leaving potholes in his wake. As the brisk, biblical rains came, the constant lightning lit their way back to their evil lair; a mighty fortress made of disused Blu E-cigs. The Kool-Aid Man was rejuvenated by this unholy wash, and his carafe runneth over almost immediately. The Kool-Aid splashed from him like hydrochloric acid. It was all Dinklage could do to prevent himself from being engulfed by it. They arrived in short order.
There is no rest for the wicked, however, so that very night is where the evil plot was hatched to take over the vaping world with Big Tobacco sneaking in to trick misinformed and new customers. It went like this...
There is no rest for the wicked, however, so that very night is where the evil plot was hatched to take over the vaping world with Big Tobacco sneaking in to trick misinformed and new customers. It went like this...
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In order to pull in the naive and unstudied, Dinklage knew they would need a special PR team who could "spin" information (he learned this from his friends at PETA, and of course, Big Tobacco).
Well first EBT (Evil Big Tobacco) started to conjure up phony stories to try and brainwash the big dogs into thinking hydrochloric acid wasn't as bad as such things as sweet lemongrass, sweetwater etc. But this was soooo not true. Quite the opposite, in fact. .......................
Sweetwater, sweet lemongrass etc. were sooooo much better and soooo much better for ALL! Surely, EBT's plot would not work!!
Sweetwater, sweet lemongrass etc. were sooooo much better and soooo much better for ALL! Surely, EBT's plot would not work!!
Wrong thread, that's embarrassing. I'm sorry guys. Mods delete please!
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When they realized what they had done, they put their hands on their heads and screamed.....AHHHHHHHHH...
An advanced PR team/ Science lab was commissioned to built a mind control device for use in their evil plot
The PR team came up with a magic brainwashing potion from scratch. He would put that in a special batch of ecigs to control the unsuspecting people who didn't learn about ecigs from ECF before they bought them and create a helpless army of addicted zombies who were willing to follow his every command. They would spread the word that his BT (big tobacco) Ecigs were the best on the market and give just huge clouds of tasty vapor! All he had to do was alter Kool-Aid Man's formula ever so slightly and production could begin.
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Similar to a familiar story about an emperor, the brainwashed people believed that their vapor clouds were enormous and beautiful but also invisible and only the smartest of vapers could see them. For this reason they all walked around blowing hot air and talking about how awesome their BT ecigs were for fear of being thought of as stupid.
Sometimes the best plots are those you can relate to. Dinklage knew this would work. He began with hiring a web designer to make the most elaborate and colorful ecig website the world had ever seen. In order for this to work, he knew he had to price these BT ecigs as a luxury item. $149.99 for a starter kit. 2 cig-a-like BT Ecigs, 1 charger and 8 cartridges. He knew that every vaper LOVES cartridges. He also knew that a subscription plan would force them to use the proprietary designed cartridges and keep the masses under his control. $100 a month ought to do, for life, irrevocable. All he need do was hide it deep in the fine print where no one would ever see it.
But there was a small group of vapor's who suspcted something was amiss. They started planting and extracting tobacco for filling their own cartridges. They knew the truth and secretly banded together to steal cartridges from others, replacing them with their own. They enclosed an encrypted message that only those free of Kool-aid could read. It said, "....
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