Story Contest!

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ShogaNinja

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...with him until they found out that he was a lickspittle who was found to plug his sponsors overmuch, and was a braggadocio to boot. He was the first to wet himself and simper like a helpless child when the Kool-Aid Man busted through the wall again. "OH YEAH!", he exclaimed. "Oh Yeah, indeed, we're back. We just wanted to say we're sorry", Dinklage explained.
 

ShogaNinja

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But, alas, Peter Dinklage and Kool-Aid Man had only just arrived to the festivities, vaping his BT E-cig like no one's business. He was just distracting everyone up on stage while the Kool-Aid Man moved into position. KAM opened up his "mouth" and began to vacuum up the guests like a diabolic cyclone. Their helpless screams remain with me to this day, as he inhaled them in his devil's whirlwind. They issued forth as BT zombies from his business end, Peter Dinklage laughing monstrously all the while! "BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!", his belly laugh the last thing their free minds heard before becoming servants of the Big Tobacco's plans to invade the vaping world. En masse they absconded the locus and began their march on Washington.
 
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ShogaNinja

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They were forced to stop to accommodate KAM's illness, which was very liquidy and disgusting. What came out was a mere shell of what went in. You don't want to know about that. Despite this setback, they were able to absorb many other unwilling candidates along the way and, by the time they got to the outskirts of Washington, the sun was setting. They made camp for the night and plotted the overthrowing of the regime, to instead place Dinklage as the head of a mindless nation of evil zombies, poisoned with evil toxins, all for the profit of a few men in suits. They rose early, gathered their BT Zombies together and, with makeshift weapons and BT ecigs, shambled onward to meet the line of resistance...
 

Cnew

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A hush suddenly fell upon the crowd. Gizzy, realizing he was their unofficial leader, spoke solemnly and authoritatively to Dinklage and all the people striving for upset and chaos:
"We welcome you here but you must abide by our rules. If you choose not to, you choose to banish yourselves from our kingdom. You have free will to decide for yourselves individually. Here are our rules:

Before you speak or act you must first THINK
1. is it true?
2 is it helpful?
3. is it inspiring?
4. is it necessary?
5. is it kind?

If your words or actions do not follow our vaping community ethos, you freely choose to leave and dwell elsewhere."
 

ShogaNinja

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The time for thinking was over. Dinklage and KAM led the charge, his massive horde behind him all the way. They splashed upon the resistance fighters like a mighty wave. Bystanders counted not less than 49 of them had been dissolved and turned into zombies by KAM himself. Dinklage, being well versed in theater acting was no rookie behind a blade either. He would chop at their legs to bring them down and then finish them with a coup-de-grace.

Of course, the resistance held cover with their fully automatic weapons (which hadn't been banned at all as per the Constitution). They were able to mow down many of the BT zombies, but it was too little, too late. As they slammed into their pathetic sandbag walls and clambered over them, crushing those who were in their path, it was quickly revealed that the battle was over before it started. When the smoke cleared, only Gizzy, Brad Pitt, and Angelina Jolie had survived. They beat a hasty retreat as fast as their legs would carry them.

Dinklage, unrepentant, emitted an ululation that would shatter glass. He reveled in his glorious victory against the resistance. In short order, they began their march on the White House. The only thing that could possibly stop them now was...
 
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