Sigh! Young'uns thinkin' they know something about getting old . . .
I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my dirty ol' Pontiac and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mailbox earlier. I decide to go
through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay the car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first. But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Diet Coke that I had been drinking. I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Diet Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. I see that the pop is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Diet Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need to be watered. I set the Diet Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill. Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
* the car isn't washed
* the bills aren't paid
* there is a warm can of Diet Coke sitting on the counter
* the flowers don't have enough water
* there is still only one check in my check book
* I can't find the remote
* I can't find my glasses
* I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it.
But first I'll check my e-mail.
*****
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.
I think the most important thing is to do something fun each and every day. For example, yesterday, my wife and I went downtown to do a little shopping. When we came out, there was a cop writing a parking ticket.
We went up to him and I said, "How about not being a jerk and give a senior citizen a break?"
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.
I called him an ....... He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn-out tires.
So my wife called him a s**thead. He finished the second ticket, put it on the windshield along with the first, and began writing yet another ticket.
This went on for about 20 minutes -- the more we talked, the more tickets he wrote.
We'd have liked to keep on doing it, but just then our bus came, and so we got on it and went home.