The Twisted Wish Game

[QBass]

*plop* Dropping wearily onto the couch, your hand slips between the cushions into something quite sticky. Upon pulling your hand back, you notice a nickel stuck to your fingers covered in something you'd rather not advertise to the rest of us. Oh wait, I forgot who I was granting the wish for!

I wish I had my own private caye off the coast of Belize...

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

*PooF* You are standing on a beautiful beach with crystal blue water and behind you are fruit trees of every variety. This place is paradise...up until the 10 story tall wave crashes down

I wish I had some steak right now....

 

[The Rebel]

New player! Poof! You have some steak, actually a stake in a now defunct navel fuzz mine.

I wish America would keep out of other countries business.

 

[mekakeisei]

*shazzam* America keeps out of other peoples business, but they no longer trade with us so we are reliant only on usa made products which fall apart in a few weeks.

I wish I had at least one working atomizer.

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! I managed to salvage some stuff from your batteries to make a working atomizer. Now all you need are batteries.

I wish electronics were as easy as Lego.

 

[QBass]

*glomp* You eat a bad banana, discovering as you finish it that the strange yellow item left in your hand is unknown to you. Now, electronics and Legos both seem equally 'easy' to get into your nose... though you are uncertain if this is their intended purpose or not.

I wish I could run 100 miles without needing rest.

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

*Poof* you run your first 99.99 miles BACKWARDS trouble free, but missed the sign that the bridge was out...just as you hit the 100 mile marker you hit the pavement.

(supprised lox and his 100 miles self did not chime in here)

I wish mod batteries were free!

 

[zerominusone]

sorry - nothing's free....I mean *Poof* all mod batts are now free and you use so many you don't even bother charging them anymore, just get a new one. The gooberment doesn't like the fact that you are no longer paying the high electric bills because you are no longer charging your batteries and they lock you in a dungeon and throw away the key.

I wish the only thing grocery stores sold was bacon.

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. Every artery and vein in your body has now swelled from bacon fat. You now look like this guy:

I wish I didn't have so many wires to deal with from my tv and computer.

 

[The Rebel]

Easy! Poof! Your TV and computer disappear along with the wires and you now spend your time trying to find Maury on the microwave and surf the net on your clothes dryer.

I wish my kids came with a mute button.

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. Your entire "family" is really just a bunch of old "Family Ties" reruns. You spend entirely too much time in front of the tv. When it gets too much, you find you have to mute the tv every now and then. You are reeeeeeally lonely. *sniff*

I wish good cinematic production values came back to porn.

 

[loxmythe]

Poof wish granted however all porn is now acted out by male monkeys


I wish I could find a decent intelligent employee

 

[Addicted2Vap]

Poof Wish granted! You find an employee with a high i.q. He's so intelligent he becomes your new boss and decided you're his least favorite worker.

I wish the mail was instantaneous.

 

[loxmythe]

Poof wish granted however its all junk mail from Chinese male enhancement product companies


I wish it was Friday

 

[The Rebel]

Poof! It's always Friday which means there are no weekends and you're stuck at work everyday for eternity.

I wish I could breath under water.

 

[loxmythe]

Poof wish granted but your a barnacle on the Tidy bowl man's boat View attachment 51990

I wish I had a new Jaguar convertible


(btw I'm off Fridays so thanks )

 

[RippleInStillWater]

You get the new convertible -- but then you have to pay for the exorbitant repairs that the model usually racks up!!!

I wish I had a new pickup.........

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! You just got yourself a sweet Gibson humbucker pickup. And 30 minutes later, the feds are raiding your house as part of the Gibson guitar manufacturer sting. WTF is going on there? Anyway, your house is now trashed and all your buddies are now calling you night and day. They heard about your pickup, confused it with the other kind, and they all want your help with moving their stuff.

---

I wish the cost of living was cheaper.

 

[The Rebel]

Poof! The cost of living just went down to almost nothing, but the cost of dying went up ten fold. Now instead of buying caskets and burying the dead, people just leave them where they fall. The rat population explodes, disease runs rampant, and the world falls into chaos. Thanks alot bob.

I wish Ted Nugent was president.

 

[zerominusone]

Poof, que the fog and strobe lights. Ted Nugent jumps through the fog wearing red, white, and blue stretch pants and holding a 350lb. compound bow in one hand and a pair of elk antlers in the other and yelling, "Cat Scratch Fever, Baby, I'm the Pres.!" Amazed that your wish has come true, you need to get some rest so you go home and get in bed. You dream that you are singing "Spirit of the Wild" with the Nuge live on stage and wake up with a jerk. Ted's got you in a stranglehold baby and screams, "Time to go huntin'!"

I wish Johnson Creek would give me their Tennessee Cured juice for free.