The Twisted Wish Game

[RippleInStillWater]

POOF!!! You win one but its one of the Lone Ranger's, not what you thought it was going to be!!!

I wish I was as witty as my brother.....

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

*Poof* You are now as witty as your brother...when he was 5. Your latest retort of "That's a good one Mr. Poopy Pants!" was not quite the caliber you intended.

I wish it would stop this crappy rain....

 

[RippleInStillWater]

BAM!!! Crappy rain kaput, blinding snow commences!!!

Have I said I would like to win a GG contest?!?!?!?

 

[ntv8per]

Shazam!! You finally win that GG you've been craving. But you failed to read the fine print of the contest. When the package arrives you wonder why the box is covered with tiny holes. You open it and discover you've just won a beautiful 4 inch Golden Gecko. Now you have the tough decision of which end you're going to put the atty and which end you're going to suck in the lovely vapor from. You make your choice and discover a whole new meaning to "bottom fed".


I wish I could live to be 120 years old.

 

[RippleInStillWater]

Voila!!! You live to be what 120 year olds look like -- depends-wearing shriveled hunks of humanity with nearly no purpose!!

I wish that there would be more attention to the burgeoning overpopulation of the planet.

 

[loxmythe]

Poof wish granted everyone over 35 please report to the Soylent Green plant.


I wish idiots knew they were idiots and would just shut up

 

[RippleInStillWater]

Voila!!! The idiots shut up -- ..........................................................................................................!!!!

I wish the world would swallow the religious hypocrites.......

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Voila!!! The religious hypocrites get swallowed up -- .................................................. .................................................. ......!!!!





(I'm an atheist myself, but it turns out natural disasters don't discriminate.)

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I wish somebody would do a proper job of editing the Bible. The contradictions are confusing. And 2 origin stories?

 

[RippleInStillWater]

POOF!!! Someone edits the bible, doing all the cross-referencing necessary for any other historical work, and its found Jesus was just a myth causing the collapse of the great profit-making economic venture that is Christianity and throwing thousands of confused zealots into the political arena!!! 8-o8-o8-o

I wish people would know when I'm kidding!!!

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. I made you a sign.

What?! I'm a cheap genie. You think money just grows on trees? Oy, kids these days!

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I wish I had a Star Trek-style replicator.

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

*Poof* You now have a star trek style replicator...but apparently the controls are stuck and it will only replicate stale unsalted saltine crackers...perhaps the saving of a third world starving country could use it...

I wish the work day was only 4 hours

 

[ntv8per]

SHAZAM!!! Your wish is granted and you receive notice from your employer that they will now be switching to 4 hour work days. Great news until you see on the evening news that the government has just enacted a new law that changes how time is measured and the new hour is now 135 minutes long. They make it sound nice by letting the entire country know that EVERYONE will now work a 20 hour week instead of the 'old' 40 hour week.



I wish I didn't have to pay every year to "re-register" my license plates.

 

[RippleInStillWater]

POOF!!! No more renewing -- because you're too old and decrepit to drive!!!!

I hope by the time I'm too old and decrepit to drive we have transporters!

 

[loxmythe]

Poof wish granted however your totally senile and keep forgetting where you want to go.

I wish there was a "stick it up your ..." button for when vendors change their recipes.

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. Although, I'm still trying to figure out why you want all the "new formula" juices winding up in your ....

I wish there was a way to rewind bands back to a time before they changed their musical style and started to suck. Are you listening U2?

 

[Dracolia]

POOF! Wish granted all bands now can only play their original musical style, unfortunately since U2 couldn't keep up with with their ever changing, kaleidoscope of fans they never made anymore music and after realizing you were the one to make this wish they looked you up and killed you in your sleep for halting the technology of new music

I wish I had a credit card that could never get lost, stolen, or destroyed but would work at any store while never running out of funds that I never had to pay back.

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. You win a special lifetime credit card in a Visa contest. Unfortunately your credit limit is only 25 cents. You could keep reusing it if stores would let you pay with the same credit card multiple times. If only gumball machines and parking meters would take credit cards.

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I wish news journalists were smarter.

 

[Paislia]

Zoink!! Journalists are now too smart to work for mass media, and too broke to do any real in depth investigating. "news" anchors are forced to blather on about the weather and the newest fashion trends. Society reverts to the dark ages.

I wish everyone on earth could do for a living what truly fulfills them (ya know, and survive for a while at it)

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. You're healthier now. You've stopped eating greasy fried food because no one's making fast food any more. You're riding a bicycle and walking more. Your car won't run because nobody works at gas stations any more. Not that you could get your driver's license renewed; nobody's working at the DMV. You're also going to quit nicotine cold turkey. No one's working for the post office. Which all kind of sucks, but you're only going to live for another 6 months, anyway. You've got a serious condition that requires a Proctologist.

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I wish I didn't have to deal with so many different USB jacks.

 

[RippleInStillWater]

Abracadabra!!!! The world power grid collapses thus making them immaterial!

I wish we had outer space travel already........