Valley View Vapes - Win a FREE Polypropylene Tank

[RayN]

Hi Everyone and Welcome to Valley View Vapes!​

Weekly Contest Number 8

This weeks contest is something fun.
Post a joke! Stumped for a joke to post? Google is your friend.
Winner will receive a free polypropylene tank of their choice (or a $10 store gift certificate if they prefer).

​

Additional prizes MAY be awarded.
Note: International Customers are welcome to participate, but will only be awarded a gift certificate and not a free tank.

Rules:
Your entry posts MUST start with a number. (1,2 or 3 etc.) Please number your posts by day. (1-5 not 1-25)
The post must have substance though. Posts such as entry, or "count me in" etc will be ineligible for prizes
Only your 5 (per day) entry posts will be eligible for the prize drawing.
Un-numbered posts will be considered "Chit Chat" and not eligible for the prize.
Your joke must be original, at least in the sense that it hasn't already been posted in this thread.
Winner will be chosen by random number generation, based on the post number.

Contest will end Friday Night at Midnight Central time. Winner will be announced at the end of this thread.

Last Weeks Winner: XIVChrissyVIX

 

[glassmanoak]

#1
Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer: To get to the other side.

Now, this is the quality AND originality of my jokes! You sure you want me to post 5 a day? What are you. a glutton for punishment? LOL

 

[RayN]

LOL Even a bad joke can make you chuckle though!

#1
Question: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Answer: To get to the other side.

Now, this is the quality AND originality of my jokes! You sure you want me to post 5 a day? What are you. a glutton for punishment? LOL

 

[DreamingButterfly81]

#1 What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?


Dam!

 

[glassmanoak]

#2
How do you stop a fish from smelling?
Cut its nose off
Love a good corny joke. If it doesn't get a good moan, it's not a good joke!!

Can we post back-to-back? I'm not clear on that

 

[DreamingButterfly81]

#2 two guys were walking down the street. The first guy walked into a bar. The second guy ducked.


Love corny jokes lol

 

[glassmanoak]

#3
Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested?
He was charged with battery.


Someone help me.. I'm caught in a world full of bad jokes!!

 

[proudlion]

#1

Ghandi used to walk everywhere barefoot, so his feet became painfully rough. He also had a very simple diet, which left him thin and frail, and with bad breath. All of which made him a ....


super-calloused, fragile mystic, vexed by halitosis.

 

[glassmanoak]

#4


Two muffins are in the oven.
One says to the other "God it's hot in here"
The other one replies "Oh no... It's a talking muffin"


Now that's definitely a blue joke!

 

[DreamingButterfly81]

#1

Ghandi used to walk everywhere barefoot, so his feet became painfully rough. He also had a very simple diet, which left him thin and frail, and with bad breath. All of which made him a ....


super-calloused, fragile mystic, vexed by halitosis.

Hahaha oh that's quite clever! Hahahaha!

#3 Why was six afraid of seven?

Because seven ate nine!

 

[glassmanoak]

#5
MOAN!!

Q: What do you do when your wife's staggering?
A: Shoot her again.

 

[BrianV]

#1 it's raining cats and dogs outside. I know because I stepped in a poodle

 

[aziffel]

#1
How do you make a kleenex dance?

Put a little boogie in it.







Boooo!

 

[Racehorse]

#1
An elderly gentleman gets on an elevator.
He tells the young 20-something that he wishes to go to the 10th floor.
When they arrive at the 10th floor, the elevator operator says: "this is your floor, son!"

The elderly gentleman says "how dare you call me *son* !!
To which the young man replies: "I brought you up, didn't I?"

 

[shstarose]

#1 "Room Service? Can you send up a towel?"

"Please wait, someone else is using it."

 

[DreamingButterfly81]

#4 wanna hear a joke about pizza?

Eh, never mind, its too cheesy!

 

[RayN]

#2

Can we post back-to-back? I'm not clear on that

Yes, for this contest that's allowed.

 

[shstarose]

#2
Audrey-Anne, the hillbilly said to her friend, "You know, my boy's real smart!" He's only five but already spell his name backwards and forwards!"

"What's his name?" asked the friend.

Audrey-Anne replied ,"Bob."

 

[shstarose]

#3

Dara, now in her middle ages, had been considering coloring her hair. One day, while flipping through a fashion magazine, she saw an ad for a hair-coloring die featuring a pretty young model who was sporting a great hairstyle with a shade that Dara liked.

To get a second opinion, she asked her husband Jack, "How do you think this shade would look on a face with a few wrinkles?"

Jack took the magazine from her, crumpled the page with the ad, straightened it out and observed it again.

"Just great, darling."

 

[vexxygirl]

1) I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"