VaporBomb contest!!! 5 5ml Sample Pack!!Give-A-Way

[Juicehor]

Here is a day I would like to have to do over for sure:

About 10 yrs ago when I was a SR in highschool, my Grandmother passed away and I was having a hard time. Some friends of mine that were in college already invited me up to stay in their dorm over the weekend.

They purchased a big ole bottle of vodka. I, upset about my grand, decided to drink like there was no tomm. I could not feel the affects of the vodka so just kept drinking.
One of the kids in the dorm came by and said she had a bunch of tickets to see the Boston Bruins vs New York Rangers rookie exhibition hockey game that was being played at the college rink. I was excited!

We get there take a seat about half way up in the stands...and boom the vodka hits.
I'm sitting there at the hockey game half passed out. I cant even keep my head up to watch the game. About every 10 mins my friend elbows me to tell me theres a fight(at the these type of games theres a lot of fights on the ice with the players since the rookies like to prove themselves).. the only parts of the actually game I remember are the players punching each other.

I must of been quite the site cause I swear out of the corner of my eye I could see mothers moving their kids to seats away from us.
My friend realizing how bad i was doing decided we should leave. I get up, take two steps down the stadium seating stairs and boom! Fall down the stairs Face First!

I dont know how many people a big university hockey rinks sits hundreds? a thousand? whatever the number they all saw me take a header down those stairs. I could of sworn the hockey players stopped playing to stare at me when they heard my crash and the hush of the crowd.

To make a long story short..I ended up with a pumped stomach, a busted nose, parents that wanted to ring my neck and embarrassment to last a life time

 

[rosesense]

A couple of short ones: Working late one night and after losing a bunch of weight (I have since found it unfortunately) my skirt fell down around my ankles. Not sure if anyone saw it but I was so humiliated.

Right after we moved into my current house, my son woke me up to tell me we had 'invaders' on the deck and he thought it was a group of little people. He grabs the baseball bat and turns the deck light on to find about 7 raccoons trying to get into the hot tub. We have teased him forever about it. I try to make sure there is fresh water for the critters so they won't try to open the hot tub.

Ok, make it 3: we had a new Pom puppy and I gave him this huge prime rib bone. He could barely drag it around and it soon disappeared. We looked everywhere and tore the house up trying to find it. No luck until my son went to scoop the cat litter box. He yells, "mom, I found the bone"....in...wait for it....snack in the box.

 

[CinnamonLatte]

How is the winner picked?

 

[VRubin]

lmao@invaders... too funny

 

[hdpjr68]

How is the winner picked?

If I can start a poll we'll do it that way, if not we'll vote inside the thread. Everyone cool with that?

 

[thelook]

sounds good

 

[zoiDman]

If I can start a poll we'll do it that way, if not we'll vote inside the thread. Everyone cool with that?

I'm for voting inside the thread...

That is, as long as I can vote for My story. And as long as I can vote Multiple times.

 

[0smitty]

Hmmm...Two funniest I've seen on here are Jimmy's "diaper" story, and zoi's HILARIOUS after-hours Freudian slip. Beautiful stuff!

 

[hdpjr68]

You can start voting now We'll do it here.

 

[hdpjr68]

My votes for Osmitty, if anyone need a mulligan it's him.

 

[camel522]

I have a couple but I think I'll go with this one, it's a little long but worth it:

When I was a freshman in college and living in the dorms, my friends from my hometown would often come down for the weekend and sneak in some alcohol. I had been living in the dorms for at least a full semester, so I was no stranger to how things worked there.

One weekend, we had gotten drunk on some concoction we had made that really did a number on my stomach. Nevertheless, a trip to the campus store to get junk food still sounded like a great adventure. We made it to the store without incident and while we were on the way back, I was downing a bottle of some iced tea.

Right as we arrived back at my dorm, I could really feel my stomach starting to churn. My experience told me that it would NOT be long before I threw up, so I was on a mission to get past the security desk and get to a toilet so I could throw up. I composed myself as best I could and made it past the security desk and was proud of myself, but time was running short so I made a bee line for the nearest bathroom. I lived on the fifth floor and the elevators were notoriously slow; there was no way I was going to make it to my floor.

The way the halls were set up, there was a long hallway when you walk in and one bathroom on the far end of the hallway in each direction. I had been to other floors and noticed the the men's room and women's room were not always consistent, sometimes they were right and sometimes left. I had to take a gamble and hoped it was the same as my floor--I went left.

Things were getting bad and by that time, my friends realized what was happening and knew I was going to throw up, so they were following me around. I got to the bathroom to the left and it was the women's room. Damn! I spun around quickly and was power-walking toward the opposite end. I had my hand to my mouth, desperately trying to hold back. I could feel it coming, but the door was in sight! I came to the door, relieve overcame me. . .until I looked up and it said "women" on the door. It was like a nightmare come true. Both doors said women!

My eyes popped out of my head and I turned to look at my friend who was laughing his ... off. I managed to scream "Mmmmm Mmmmm Mmmmm!" with my hand over my mouth but it was too late and Blahhhhhh! I threw up all over myself and all down the hallway. My friends could do nothing but double over in laughter. I was in shock and just ran back to the elevators and finally made it back to my room, soaked in my own vomit (mostly all iced tea and booze, thankfully). I found out later that the first floor of the dorms was female only--I had no idea. My friends who didn't even go to that college had known, but didn't bother to tell me I was doomed. Can I get a Mulligan?

 

[Zelphie]

I missed the no coyote ugly stories, crap! Try to think of a different PG-13 post...

 

[topaz_stone71]

Gotta vote for Zoi- the juice coulda been used to wipe the egg off his face!

 

[msqun]

Did she ahrn clothes when they were wrinkled, fish in the crick, watch smoke go up the chimbley, bake/ mash bitatas, and change the earl in her car?

Hey dare...What Chew tryin ta say. Aint nuttin wrong with worshin the dishes! and fixin dat dare worshin machine!

 

[msqun]

I would vote for zoiD, but I know we have all said some things at the most awkward times so, my vote has to go to ROSE! I know what it's like to lose weight (and find it again later) I know what it's like to wait tables, and I can ONLY imagine what a skirt at work around my ankles would feel like. (in this situation, of course) So, Rose, you have my vote.

 

[hdpjr68]

zioDman is the winner, thanks you all for the great stories. More contest coming some.

 

[marclap]

I know i'm off-topic, but I just want to make sure.
hdpjr68, have u received my pm a few days ago?

Thanks!

 

[zoiDman]

This is a Complete and Utter OUTRAGE… I Demand a Recount !!!

Oh wait, I won. I guess I have lost so many contests in my life that I am programmed to demand a recount.

Thank you All and a Big Thanks to vaporbomb.com for putting on these contests.

All though I would like to say more, I have to sign off now. I have been notified by the National Forum Writers’ Association (NFWA) that I have tested positive for Performance Enhancing Steroids in a random drug test. Although I Vehemently deny these charges, and I am sure that a retest will prove my Complete Innocence, I feel it is in my best interest to load up on “Golden Seal” and the health food store closes at 9:00pm.

Thank you all again and remember to watch what you say when you have your back to the room.

zoiD