I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
Joe E. Lewis
Joe E. Lewis
Vapors Choice Lounge 2
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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. Fields
W. C. Fields
“Sometimes we laugh to keep from crying, but the important thing is to laugh, every chance we get.”
― Cassandra King
― Cassandra King
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers
"Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in one ahead." — Bill McGlashen
“That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.”
― A. Whitney Brown
― A. Whitney Brown
“And her laugh was enough to make you want to kick over what you were doing and follow her down the street.”
― Donna Tartt
― Donna Tartt
“We're so accustomed to laughing. It's harder for us when the time comes that we can't laugh.”
― Lois Lowry
― Lois Lowry
The world is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.
Bertrand Russell
Bertrand Russell
“When you lose reasoning you forget humanity,
When you forget laughter you lose Divinity.
Munindra Misra”
When you forget laughter you lose Divinity.
Munindra Misra”
"There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away." — Author Unknown
There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.
Josh Billings
Josh Billings
I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends.
Walt Whitman
Walt Whitman
“There are only two profound ways to reach enlightenment: Laugh by yourself, or get tickled.”
― Saurabh Sharma
― Saurabh Sharma
A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.
Don Marquis
Don Marquis
“Love is a funny thing. It's so funny it will make you laugh until you cry.”
― Jarod Kintz
― Jarod Kintz
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