good news guys, I found an old 808 to 510 connector that was stuffed away. took it apart and it had the same gasket. I compared the two and the one on the vmod had a ring missing off the gasket. I installed the new gasket and no shorts. I guess what was happening was where the ring was missing off the gasket it was allowing the center pin to be pressed down too far causing it to short. it seems like the atty dosnt turn so far now before it gets tight.