Vote for Private or Open Forum

[Mary Kay]

Kate gave me the keys to Wreaked and Bonkers. I hope to do a good job for you all. I want to keep things as Kate started them, with Welcome and Encouraging posts.

First order of business:
Now we need to decide if we want an open or closed forum.

One one hand a closed gives us some privacy. It would be by an approval system only. In other words, by a Doctor's reccomendation..just kidding!! But you would have to ask to come in here.

I will need the help of one of the mods to set all this up, it took me two hours to figure out how to do a poll!

On the other hand a closed forum would mean people who just want to make a comment on ..let's say the sleep thread, won't be allowed. Also people who just want to give a word of encouragement can't see the threads.
This restricts our input from people who may want to dip a toe in to test the water.
It keeps people from making unpleasent comments too. Not that we've had a problem with that. We do have a report button for that.

In my opinion we are not different from any one else on the board, we all have problems even if we don't admit to them. I am not sure if I want to be secretive about it. I do understand that some people may want to take small steps in sharing problems.

I do wish we could have it both ways, part open to everyone..like the sleep thread and some of the more common health and mental problems. Then have a locked area for members only for more sensitive subjects.

It's up to you, Vote yes or no, if you are unsure, click that, if you aren't a group member..but just have to click..click that one!

Input welcome!!!

 

[Mary Kay]

No thoughts on the subject? Idea's..

 

[Kate51]

Mary Kay,
I applaud your courage. I am not sure what is going on in this entire forum, so cannot make intelligent comment on that, but also a noobie and a totally new experience to any forum: I've noticed an extremely disturbing trend generally, that being if someone makes a mistake in spelling, wrong name, or perhaps being in a thread that is occuppied by certain accomplices, there is an obvious sense to an outsider that your comments are not only not welcome, but that you are not allowed to chide the chiders! I know the forum rules, but there are rules constantly being re-written by sarcastic and arrogant remarks from certain elitists. This seems to pass muster. Some threads have been close to rioting in the streets! Ranting videos complete with violent behavior! That is just a personal observation, and I am a fighter generally to be most tolerant of anyone's right to express an opinion. (Subject of a few rants, on my part.)
However, this has become now a bit uncomfortable for me, as well. So my vote is to not create an atmosphere on any part of this forum to be purposely exclusionistic.

 

[Mary Kay]

Wow Kate! I thought you were headed in the direct opposite direction from where you ended up!
Point taken, but private is not the same thing as elitist. As for excluding anyone, that also is not the intention. I disn't plan to check any one's bona fides before I admitted them..lol
The only reason for privacy is that it may be easier to discuss subjects you don't need the general public to view. It goes back to giving some jerk ammunition in a fight on the board. Some of these people also know each other in "real" life.
That being said, I also don't like climbing back in a the attic (that closet is full) when discussing problems that were hidden away by relatives and schools for decades. Thank goodness we can discuss anything anymore and not be treated like outcasts.
My Grandmother's problems were referred to as 'Spells" and her mental condition was blamed on "scarlett fever"..which no one bothered to notice she inheirted and passed down to mom and my sister.
When she was put in the 'hospital" for exhaustion in the 40's, she was really sent to the Florida State Hospital at Chattahoochee. It was a horrible place, a movie called "Chattahoochee" staring Dennis Hopper was made detailing the abuse.
So you guys make the call, I will make it happen. (or at least a real mod will)

As for spelling and stuff like that, I went to Catholic School where a group of Nun's from Italy taught me to read, write and sort of spell. The blackboard would say C A T the teacher would poinnt to each letter and say Cia, Aya, Tia Cato! Yeah, I learned a LOTa.
So far be it from me to correct anyone! I don't care if you spell it right, I wouldn't notice. In this forum we do as we please, within reason. But in the main forum..Please follow the rules!!!! Fighting/flaming, /correcting spelling and grammer in W&B is not an issue..it will not be tolerated at all, we have enough problems as is!

We all has Fizzical & sicologic problems in heer.

 

[nitewriter]

Even though some may be reserved to talk about their personal problems in an open forum, there are also those that it will offer a safe place to do so without judgement or condemning.

Someone in need of friendship or someone to relate with their issues could be inspired to open up and discuss. If it's closed, this will not be an option. So I vote open.

I could be wrong, but I think that's what Kate had in mind too.

 

[nitewriter]

Mary Kay, I also wanted to thank you for taking the reigns. You're doing a great job!

 

[Kate51]

Ok, so I have the wrong definition of Private, then..see, I have no idea how these forums are set up.
You mean just like the other Social Group forums, in order to post or look in you have to be a member of the Group, right? Instead of being plastered out in the "Todays Posts" column...ok, that's the way I understand it, if that's still not right you have to educate me!
But I was serious about the "new" feeling of the ECF overall, seems to be getting very "cliquey" do you know what I mean...sometimes certain people are outright rude and then others pile on and have a good slap on the back thread going before long the whole thread is lost. You know I can take that, I sometimes slap back or pull their short hairs a bit, but there's others that just fade back and you don't see them posting much anywhere. I guess that's the way these things go, but it makes me sad, because some that are a little more cautious, less vocal. They're the ones usually just trying to find a way to make PV's work for themselves, and it can be intimidating. Seeing a thread with one post in it for hours at a time breaks my heart! And what about disclosure, for "bans", I missed all that happened here the last few days, and of course now cannot find anything to explain it. It's a little disheartening and a downer for me......

 

[Kate51]

We all has Fizzical & sicologic problems in heer

See, I got that right away!! Very cute! I saw that Chattachoochee movie, back in my impressionable days, will never forget it. (I don not remember the actors' names, however!)

 

[Kate51]

Even though some may be reserved to talk about their personal problems in an open forum, there are also those that it will offer a safe place to do so without judgement or condemning.

Someone in need of friendship or someone to relate with their issues could be inspired to open up and discuss. If it's closed, this will not be an option. So I vote open.

I could be wrong, but I think that's what Kate had in mind too.

Nitewriter, that is exactly what I was thinking in my "roundabout" way.Thanks

 

[Mary Kay]

Wow, what a mouthful Kate! yes there are problems. Mostly it's growing pains, This place has just exploded with new members in the last couple months. I will P.M. you later.

As for the board, yes, right now there seem to be many people who seem to think that they are the ultimate experts on E-cigs and we are just a bunch of wetnosed noobs..well maybe the dates should be looked at, this board has been around for 18 months! Not 22 years. I have panty hose older then this board and many of it's members!

Just sit back and let it all shake out. Try to greet if not help people in the new comers section. Don't get caught up more then you can help if the fighting and sniping breaks out. Most of it is due to people who don't have the facts..like me. We have little or no power to change or alter the decisions made by the mods and admin., so all the threads bemoaning and belittling are of no use.
If you have questions or problems, P.M. Smokey Joe or a Mod. (Not me! I am just a jr. type mod in a user created forum) That is what Joe and the Mods have asked us to do.

Wreaked and Bonkers isn't the place for those type discussions.

One more point, There are a couple types of sub forums. Wreaked and Bonkers is a semi private forum, yes you need to be a member to post more then one or two posts, but anyone can view us. Even if you stumble upon a post on the internet..(I think).
The same is true for The Women's Room.

But there are a couple of forums that are totally private. You can't view the section unless you are invited to join (or request an invite) like The Gay Forum and a Christian Forum. What we are proposing is a Forum like that.

There are a few sub forums that require you to join before you can post. I think you can read them though.

Except for the totally private sub forums, all posts in the forum will show up when a new post is made on the front page..at least the title will and who posted.

O.K. I think that does it..I would appreciate a real mod explaining all this better! Walrus? Lu?

Thanks Nite, I am trying! Kate was going to call for a vote.

About Editing..in here I don't care..upstairs in the main forum do what the rest do, post a reason for editing your posts.

 

[Mary Kay]

Somebody voted for the "I can't decide" I wonder if they joined? LOL

 

[Kate51]

To Mary
I've checked, and I guess there is a big lesson for me to re-learn, sometimes the people we think are most vulnerable and fragile are the very ones that know exactly the right thing to do, and it amazes me. I am the one who needs to get back to knowing the difference between living by the Tragedy or the Comedy. I used to teach that to my kids, and lived it to end a 19 year marriage. Everything looks fine, ordered.

 

[tribalmasters]

I voted open forum can I have my prize now?

 

[Walrus]

As I'm pretty open about both my physical handicap and other problems, as well as willing to discuss the mental issues I've had, it makes no difference to me. I understand why some folks would desire for access to be limited to those with common experiences. Whatever the group decides

Thanks, MaryKay... for all you are doing.

 

[Mary Kay]

Thanks for Voting!! Your gift from the prize patrol is below..enjoy!

 

[Mary Kay]

58 members and 14 votes..one of those isn't a member and one can't decide! This could take a while!

 

[Zofryer]

The biggest problem with closing a previously public forum is that it will eventually become an echo-chamber with no new perspectives and no new information making it through the wall of "us". Been there, done that. Best thing to do if the question posed in this thread even becomes worth asking, is to create a new private forum somewhere for the members of your in-crowd, and simply don't tell anybody about it you don't want there. Usually, at that point, the in-crowd starts ignoring the original forum completely, which allows new blood to make the original forum a great place again.

Hope This Helps

 

[Mary Kay]

Zofryer, Thanks for your input. I just have one question..just how Wreaked and Bonkers would you have to be to qualify to be in the In-Crowd? Just teasing.

Open or closed or at least a secret club house in here.

Well peeps, that puts a fine point on it, we are not alone in here so I would like Walrus to confer with the other Mods and Mr. Joe and see if we can have a sub forum to the sub forum added. You would have to be admitted by secret hand shake or something.

 

[Walrus]

Zofryer, Thanks for your input. I just have one question..just how Wreaked and Bonkers would you have to be to qualify to be in the In-Crowd? Just teasing.

Open or closed or at least a secret club house in here.

Well peeps, that puts a fine point on it, we are not alone in here so I would like Walrus to confer with the other Mods and Mr. Joe and see if we can have a sub forum to the sub forum added. You would have to be admitted by secret hand shake or something.

I'll ask, Mary, but I'm not sure it's possible. I wanted to do the same thing a long time ago with the Laboratory group... Of course, back then I wasn't a Mod so my PM to SJ probably got lost in the mix. I'll see what I can find out.

Oh... the vote count will be off by one. I didn't vote... as I mentioned earlier, it doesn't matter to me.

 

[DebiDoes2]

I didn't vote cause I just joined this group. I will go with what is decided.