we have a bona fide terrorist cell in our house

[mauisun]

can someone please inform homeland security that we have a terrorist cell in our house? The new puppy and the two new all black stealth kittens are all 8 weeks old. They plot and plan all day long. They knock the phone off the hook at 3 am all the way across the house, they drag underwear out of the hamper and deliver them at the feet of guests to our home. They actually have the nerve to run straight up our pants bypassing the shirt to attach themselves directly to the back of our skulls when we are having a phone conversation with someone who is not a cat person.
Can Ab or someone please inform the commandant of the Marines we need help here???

 

[TexasT]

LOL, now you know why I like my mini-hound dog (Yorky) Max so much. He is the only thing on earth I know of that is lazier than me and not guilty of anything. He wakes up when I eat because if I'm eating he thinks he needs to be eating what I have. The rest of the time he sleeps. We're a lot alike!

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[Chelseafn]

Thats funny! good luck with the little terrors!!

 

[mauisun]

ok I am going to nail them down and get pics of them. the two baby kitties climbed into bed with mama and I and the old grew siamese ..... cat was no too pleased. I think while I am at work today she is going to crap on my pillow out of disgust

 

[Sugar_and_Spice]

Time for a water squirt gun....ya gotta catchem in action, tho.

 

[Kargonet]

I thought maybe you had a teenager living with you!

 

[gramakittycat]

can someone please inform homeland security that we have a terrorist cell in our house? The new puppy and the two new all black stealth kittens are all 8 weeks old. They plot and plan all day long. They knock the phone off the hook at 3 am all the way across the house, they drag underwear out of the hamper and deliver them at the feet of guests to our home. They actually have the nerve to run straight up our pants bypassing the shirt to attach themselves directly to the back of our skulls when we are having a phone conversation with someone who is not a cat person.
Can Ab or someone please inform the commandant of the Marines we need help here???

You"ll get NO sympathy from me!As for any military intervention.....get in line! Think you're invaded?;over here in New Mexico we are currently being held under seige by 9 that's nine mini purr bombs and 10 commanders one of which has re-enforcements due any day now!I will however send the troops over your way once the coup is brought under control.Meantime be strong we will pray for you!

 

[les017]

Maybe it would be best if you gave away all of your ejuice so that they don't get into it and hurt someone

 

[vaporgalinfla]

LOL, now you know why I like my mini-hound dog (Yorky) Max so much. He is the only thing on earth I know of that is lazier than me and not guilty of anything. He wakes up when I eat because if I'm eating he thinks he needs to be eating what I have. The rest of the time he sleeps. We're a lot alike!

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Max is so adorable!

 

[TexasT]

Max is so adorable!

So am I.

757girl even said I was a Sweetie Pie!

 

[skydragon]

can someone please inform homeland security that we have a terrorist cell in our house? The new puppy and the two new all black stealth kittens are all 8 weeks old. They plot and plan all day long. They knock the phone off the hook at 3 am all the way across the house, they drag underwear out of the hamper and deliver them at the feet of guests to our home. They actually have the nerve to run straight up our pants bypassing the shirt to attach themselves directly to the back of our skulls when we are having a phone conversation with someone who is not a cat person.
Can Ab or someone please inform the commandant of the Marines we need help here???

 

[Brewlady]

Can't help you with the dog, but for little kitten razor sharp claws, these are the best Alternatives to Declawing, Nail Caps for Cats

At least until they are too fat to climb!!

 

[mauisun]

hey those soft paws are pretty neat. we don't do the declawing thinig we just keep their nails trimmed real good

 

[IMWylde]

Ok I'm going to go thru this once and only once understand.

First you need a hockey stick and two cans of whipped cream in the can. 2 blunt grappling hooks made out of coat hangers a roll of duct tape and a fly rod reel. Next you'll need bait. You can start with a can of anchovies some saltine crackers and a jar of warm cheese whiz.

Now once you have it all together and can be absolutely certain that they cant see what your doing. This is imperative if you are found out it will not go well for you. Well unless your quick with the anchovies.

Now tape the two cans to the blade of the hokey stick with the .... facing the end of the stick. Wrap a piece of fishing line around each nozzle and secure with duct tape. Run the line thru three loops of tape up and around the handle. Attach the string end to the fly reel and test by taking the slack out of the line and then turning the reel half a turn. If the two cans both discharge then your ready for the next step.

Fashion two 9 inch length of hanger wire into a cross and secure with duct tape. Bend each tip slightly downward until you have what looks like an old style grappling hook. Make two of these and tie a five foot of fishing line to each hook and note the two lines together at the ends securing the tied end to the hokey stick handle arrange the hooks to sit right between the two whipped cream can nozzles.

Now we need the bait. Take the can of anchovies and carefully pour off the extra liquid. Mix with crushed crackers until you have a thick paste. Add cheese wiz to gain a glue like consistency. allow the cheesy fish balls to cure for 12 hours and then string them onto another piece of filament line 9 feet in length. Tie the other end to the ceiling and prepare for your victim.

As we all learned in school, Terrorists can not resist anchovies and cheese whiz. Its in their mental makeup. Might be linked to an ancestral memory but we can use this to our advantage. I suggest hanging the bait at least 4 feet from any doorway or closet entrance so that you have plenty of room to let the terrorist run himself out.

Once the cheesy fish balls are hung wait patiently behind any cover you can find until the filthy beasts appear.

Once they notice the bait you must be very careful not to be noticed as you slide the hokey stick to wards their fully exposed backs. Once you are in position you simply challenge them verbally and when they turn pull the string. The two cans will discharge whipped cream both dousing and disorienting the subject. before they can recover you pull the line for the hooks and watch as they drop down and set behind the terrorist collar.

Once the terrorist realizes he has been hooked he will of course try to make a run for it. I suggest letting them run out slowly using the reel to keep them from making any entry ways until they tire and you can drop[ them down into a pillow case for delivery to Homeland Security.

Oh wait you mean i didn't say you needed a pillow case??

 

[Brewlady]

Too funny, IMWylde. When my Smudge was a kitten, she had a crazy hour at 8:00 every night, and the only way to calm her down was to actually zip her into a big netted laundry bag. I don't remember what made me try, but it worked to calm her down. Given the choice between having tiny crazy tuxedo kitty bouncing off the wall breaking things, and confused kitty in a bag, the bagged kitty was definitely an improvement!

 

[TexasT]

We've been needing you here for soooooo long!

Everything you said made perfect sense to me and I'll implement it immediately.

Now, if I can keep my wife from eating all those goodies first, I'll finally be able to catch her and send her off in the pillow case. I might have to use a little extra duct tape because she's BIG and TOUGH! Hooonneeeyyyyy ... c'mere ....

 

[sammeedog]

LOL, I think I have a little cell here too. My daughters kitten tried to kill me one night, but he missed. He knocked a big wooden jewelry box off the back of my bed. I woke up to have this thing 1/2 in from my nose. He's not allowed in our room anymore. And the big one, Smokey, I'm thankful he likes his sleep at night. He's a big boy and could do some damage.

As mentioned above, water guns and squirt bottles are great. I sit at my pc with one next to me. If the kitten gets into something. I aim and shoot. They learn not to do it again, and you get some great entertainment with the moving targets.

 

[ab357]

can someone please inform homeland security that we have a terrorist cell in our house? The new puppy and the two new all black stealth kittens are all 8 weeks old. They plot and plan all day long. They knock the phone off the hook at 3 am all the way across the house, they drag underwear out of the hamper and deliver them at the feet of guests to our home. They actually have the nerve to run straight up our pants bypassing the shirt to attach themselves directly to the back of our skulls when we are having a phone conversation with someone who is not a cat person.
Can Ab or someone please inform the commandant of the Marines we need help here???

Forget the vape lounge, we want streaming video of the house At least you don't have to worry about finding time to workout

LOL, now you know why I like my mini-hound dog (Yorky) Max so much. He is the only thing on earth I know of that is lazier than me and not guilty of anything. He wakes up when I eat because if I'm eating he thinks he needs to be eating what I have. The rest of the time he sleeps. We're a lot alike!

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You have a buddy in the house So how does Max like the vapor?

 

[son et lumiere]

I wish I could afford to have a pet. They bring so much joy into your lives.

 

[ab357]

Maybe it would be best if you gave away all of your ejuice so that they don't get into it and hurt someone

Hey... We owe it to the vape world to secure the juice! Let's get a couple of Semi Trailers and move it to a more secure location.


Shoot, first we have to sneak them out of the house and drop them off at the "juice factory"