What do you do when your SO won't quit analogs?

[Amethyst_Star]

I'm at a loss. My husband is vaping and smoking. He's been "trying" to quit the analogs for years, but has yet to quit. I am trying to support him, but it's hard when you have to buy both vaping supplies and analogs. He rolls his own, so it's cheaper than buying a pack of cigarettes. Still, after spending all the money on vaping supplies, I can't afford to let him buy his tubes or tobacco. I make sacrifices when I can, such as not buying certain foods I'd like to have or the luxury of a soda. I let him have the food, soda, coffee, cigarettes, etc, because he supposedly has to have all this stuff for work (it's very stressful he says). I am skipping meals for him to have this stuff, even. I am selling things so I can have some money for my stuff, but I end up having to give the money to him for his. It doesn't help that whenever I buy myself vaping supplies he has to have the same thing; new batteries, eLiquids, tanks, etc. I believe the only reason he vapes is because it gives him an excuse to get extra nicotine while playing his video games or watching TV. He'll take his eCigs to work, but he admits that he doesn't use them because they look "funny." I really want to pull the plug on one or the other. I know that I should be patient, but it's hurting us financially. I know if I give him an option that he'll go right to smoking cigarettes again and I HATE the smell. He'll go outside to have a smoke, but still he comes back in smelling nasty! Sometimes he'll even come back with the cigarette hanging in his mouth, for something "real quick," but it fills the house up so much that I get sick to my stomach! I hate when he even tries to kiss me, as I have to hold my breath! I just don't have much faith in him quitting, as he's promised me many times that he would try and right now I don't believe that he is trying. If he can't vape, then I'll have to give it up and I don't want to return to the stinkies, myself! IDK, maybe I just needed to vent some.

 

[metrabolic]

Have you talked to him about this. Maybe he doesn't realize how much your doing to support his habit. You could try saving money by making your own juice, shopping at cheaper places, and looking for good deals on vapor Joes. But I thinking telling your husband all these things would be the best choice ours hard but you have to communicate.

 

[XelaElk]

As a male who had the same problem it took me few attempts to finally kick the habit for good (same thing happened to a few friends). The biggest problem was I didn't really want to quit for myself. Once I reached that point it made it easier. If it really is such a financial burden I would say he either has to give up the analogs or some of the extra treats, but don't go back to the analogs. Stay strong and keep vaping, and if venting helps then vent away!

 

[Amethyst_Star]

Have you talked to him about this. Maybe he doesn't realize how much your doing to support his habit. You could try saving money by making your own juice, shopping at cheaper places, and looking for good deals on vapor Joes. But I thinking telling your husband all these things would be the best choice ours hard but you have to communicate.

Thanks. Talking to him doesn't help much. He keeps saying he'll start making his own coffee at home, rather than stopping at the gas station, that he'll stop buying so much soda, or that he'll stop buying the sweets at work, even though he's packed his lunch. I look for the best deals for myself and him as far as vaping supplies goes. He's expressed an interest in DIY, but right now he's too involved with other things to do it. I am a klutz when it comes to doing anything and am scared I'll spill it all over and the animals will drink it.

As a male who had the same problem it took me few attempts to finally kick the habit for good (same thing happened to a few friends). The biggest problem was I didn't really want to quit for myself. Once I reached that point it made it easier. If it really is such a financial burden I would say he either has to give up the analogs or some of the extra treats, but don't go back to the analogs. Stay strong and keep vaping, and if venting helps then vent away!

Thanks. I don't really think he feels it's a health issue for him, so why quit? He doesn't go to a doctor for checkups, so he may never know if it is. Last night he had to make his own coffee, as we didn't even have enough money for him to buy one. I thought that if I tried to live as an example, he would follow, but I was wrong.

 

[CES]

So, your hubby has to decide for himself...but you're making it really easy for him not to decide. Most of us are perfectly happy to allow others to make the sacrifices for us, and it makes it easier not to make changes.

Please don't skip meals so that he can have luxuries. And please, please please don't allow his decisions about switching to influence yours. Keep vaping no matter what he does. If you can understand the economics of "you can choose two out of three: a. food, b. smokes, c. vaping stuff" then so can he. Make sure you have your priorities set, and keep to them, no matter what he chooses.

I also think you have the right to say "don't kiss me immediately after smoking" - you wouldn't let anyone that close if they'd just tangled with a skunk, right? just sayin'

On one hand it's great that he's using the ecig at home while playing video games. It's a much better way to get nicotine, and perhaps that will allow him to gradually shift completely away from cigs. On the other hand it puts you in a difficult position if you're more invested in him quitting smoking than he is.

 

[Dougiestyle]

Give him sad puppy eyes and ask him to read what you wrote in your 1st post of this thread. It's well written and sincere. It doesn't seem unrealistic. Unfortunately, giving up stinkies, even with the assistance of e-cigs, isn't always easy. Seems like vanity is some of the problem, too. Suggest to your hubbs that he shop for a cool mod like a Reo or whatever with a stipulation that there's a timeline for quitting with purchase of something "cool looking". You could always drop a trump card...cigarettes or a loving wife.

 

[metrabolic]

With the imagine thing, I saw a post where some guys thought they looked like less of a man. I asked my husband if he felt that way. He was like no way, I think it's cool, plus I'm not killing myself with analogs and that's even cooler. Have him go on ecf and read about the hundreds if not thousands of people who quit all the time. Have him watch YouTube channels.

 

[classwife]

Ya just can't make them do it if they don't want.
My DH...sigh...with all the mods and liquids I have here - he kept smoking.
He would taste my vapes here and there, but would never give up his cigarettes.
I did keep the GLV and an eGo in a glass on the coffee table just for him, with flavors I knew he liked, but also didn't harp on him.

That's about the best you can do, just make it quietly available.

Nothing makes a person more stubborn and bullheaded than someone pushing something at them...

 

[Amethyst_Star]

Thanks, everyone, for the advice. I talked to him, this morning, and said we had to start buying more groceries so he wouldn't have to buy the extras at work. He also said he's really going to try to give up the analogs. I won't hold my breath, though.

 

[metrabolic]

Good luck!

 

[Amethyst_Star]

Good luck!

Thank you! I sure need it! First thing he said when get jome from work this morning was that he was out of cigarettes and must have them! Guess I can't trust his word! He's out of luck until Thursday, though, when he gets paid next! He'll just have to bum one off someone at work on his breaks!

 

[CES]

if he has no cigs, then he'll have to vape.

 

[Amethyst_Star]

if he has no cigs, then he'll have to vape.

Unfortunately, he borrowed $5 from my brother. Guess I'll just have to accept the fact that he's not ready to quit.

 

[CES]

Sigh.

 

[sk8r]

Unfortunately, he borrowed $5 from my brother. Guess I'll just have to accept the fact that he's not ready to quit.

JUst how long do you think you can go on living right on the edge? What's gonna happen when the hand doesn't quite reach the mouth??

Obvously, I don't know you, but I can't help but be a plain-spoken ol' gal - if you don't make some serious choices for yourself, instead of putting someone else ahead of you all the time, you're gonna wind up doing your vaping, and everything else, while you're sleeping under a bridge.

It's such a simple word, and yet SO hard to say sometimes... "NO"........

You have GOT to look after you.

 

[Catmom]

Tina, I wish I had some good advice, but all I can offer is sympathy. I've been vaping for almost 2 years now, and DH has tried it but hasn't quit smoking either. He also says it's because of his job being stressful. I don't know why it was so easy for me and so difficult for him. Fortunately for us, we don't have the financial issues you have. I have told my husband to brush his teeth and use mouthwash before he kisses me though!

 

[Amethyst_Star]

JUst how long do you think you can go on living right on the edge? What's gonna happen when the hand doesn't quite reach the mouth??

Obvously, I don't know you, but I can't help but be a plain-spoken ol' gal - if you don't make some serious choices for yourself, instead of putting someone else ahead of you all the time, you're gonna wind up doing your vaping, and everything else, while you're sleeping under a bridge.

It's such a simple word, and yet SO hard to say sometimes... "NO"........

You have GOT to look after you.

Sk8r, I told him yesterday that I am no longer making sacrifices! He is going to have to learn how to make some first! I wish it was easier for me to say NO! I've always been a people pleaser but I thought I stopped! Now I can see that I haven't! I would tell myself that making sacrifices was better than listening to him whine constantly. Next time he does, I'm going to tell him to grow up! Thanks!

Sent from Tapatalk.

 

[Amethyst_Star]

Tina, I wish I had some good advice, but all I can offer is sympathy. I've been vaping for almost 2 years now, and DH has tried it but hasn't quit smoking either. He also says it's because of his job being stressful. I don't know why it was so easy for me and so difficult for him. Fortunately for us, we don't have the financial issues you have. I have told my husband to brush his teeth and use mouthwash before he kisses me though!

Thank you! If he insists on kissing me, I'll have to tell him that! Funny thing is, he hates when I accidently blow vapor in his face! He blew his vapor in my face just a few minutes ago to show me how much it bothered him! I was like, doesn't bother me at all! He said my strawberry banana was stronger than his cuban cigar flavor! *SMH*

Sent from Tapatalk.

 

[Fudgey]

Sk8r, I told him yesterday that I am no longer making sacrifices! He is going to have to learn how to make some first! I wish it was easier for me to say NO! I've always been a people pleaser but I thought I stopped! Now I can see that I haven't! I would tell myself that making sacrifices was better than listening to him whine constantly. Next time he does, I'm going to tell him to grow up! Thanks!

Sent from Tapatalk.

I am the same way, I would rather not listen to them I am getting better though.

 

[Amethyst_Star]

I am the same way, I would rather not listen to them I am getting better though.

Yea, he whines like a baby! It's awful! I am now wondering if he doesn't it on purpose! *sigh*