Why have my farts...

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gital

Full Member
Sep 28, 2010
44
1
USA
It is absolutely too funny that I have found this today of all days though I think my concerns deal more with a new medication than vaping. All day today sitting in my office I would let out a tiny fart ( you know the kind that feels like you just shot a single pea out your .... ) and within a minute the entire office would fill with such a rotten smell that my dogs and cats cleared the room. This went on for the entire day and persisted into the early evening. Needless to say it is now after 2 am and I am still trying to get work done because I spent half the day on the front porch because my office was to rank to be occupied. I knew it was bad but had total confirmation when this evening I popped one off in the car going around 50 mph with both windows open and thought the car would never clear out. The windows were open to start with by the way.

Having said all that I will tell the worst fart story I know. Now I have heard this story first hand from both the guilty party and the victim. I will proudly say that I am neither however I am regretfully the son of the guilty party. Let me start by giving you some background: My father is known for having the most god awfull smelling flatulance known to man apparently this is what happens when you relocate a man from Pa to Tx and he eats the local food. For anyone in a similar situation NO YOUR BODY WILL NEVER GET USED TO THE FOOD do everyone else a favor and quit eating it. Given his unique situation after having dated my stepmother for a number of years she had convinced him of the urgency of only farting in the bathroom. Well that was before they got married that is. Very shortly after they got married he convinced her that this rule was not as steadfast as she had previously though. Actually it was a mere number of hours after their wedding. They had just gotten to the hotel room for the evening and they of course had plans so she proceeded to head to the shower to freshen up. Shortly after she had entered the shower she heard the bathroom door open and fully expected to be accosted in the shower by her new husband. Much to her dismay she got accosted just not the way that she had been expecting. The smell was so bad that first she started to cry then came the vomit which progressed into a culmination of the 2 which also left her trapped in the bathroom. This went on for around 2 hours. During this time unknown to my stepmother he was in the other room laying on the bed continuing to releive himself as needed. Once she came out of the bathroom she discovered quite quickly what he had done. They tried going out for a few hours to give both him and the room some time to "air out" to no avail both still had issues upon their return. In the end he ended up having to get another room for her and they spent the rest of their wedding night in seperate rooms. The rules up to this day are simple "not in any room she is in or likely to enter soon with a preferance of outside". Although a little off subject in a house with 5 toilets he is only allowed to use 1 it is his and only his and is positioned across from the backdoor so that the backdoor and the 2 nearby windows can be opened in the event of an emergency. As children we also had an emergency kit hidden in the bar it consisted of a towel to stuff under the door and a fan to place between the bathroom door and the backdoor.

I was somewhat lucky in the fact that i only lived with my father for a few years in high school my younger brother and sister were not so lucky and tell stories of running from farts that they could visibly see to this day.
 

Nixsdaddy

Super Member
ECF Veteran
Oct 22, 2010
394
15
Bessemer City, NC
I have had horrendous gaseous emissions for most of my life. No matter whether I was smoking, vaping, or eating good or bad foods, it was still there. But as I have gotten older, the emissions have gotten worse. Over the past 10 years I have been able to... run both of my dogs out of the room, make my wife throw up, and run my kids out of the room. My wife has sworn that I have been able to lift bedsheets while asleep. I was in wal-mart one night and had to attempt to rip one down a aisle with no one on it, and while I was one aisle over hear people complain about the smell. At college in the bathroom to let one fly and seen people go in after I left and come directly out.

There is no such thing as stealth farting for me. And oh lord, if I ever eat hot & spicy food.... there will be a blast radius of at least 3 miles and the fallout will kill innocents. Not even beano will help me.
 

Nyxie

Vaping Master
ECF Veteran
Verified Member
May 3, 2009
4,278
2,153
Port Richey, Fl.
Well I don't know why no one has mentioned this video before so I will. I won't post the link because it has the F bomb in the video and I am not sure if I can post that here. So just go on you tube and search glad plug ups. There will be two girls sitting on a park bench talking. No doubt if you are laughing through this thread you will find a lot of humor in the video.
I think vendors should sell these things with our attys and juices LOL.
 

Jen8112

Full Member
Dec 16, 2010
65
0
NH, US
I can't believe I just read a 14 page thread about farts! lol! God I hope this doesn't happen to me!

As far as the reasoning, I think it has more to do with quitting smoking than anything else. I have done some research about smoking analog cigarettes and how they act as a laxative, they actually do. About an hour after I got up I'd head outside for my first analog of the day. Sometimes I couldn't even get though it and had to snuff it out early because I had to go! If you Google this there are a lot of people out there that say the same. Something about nicotine being a stimulant. So therefor I would conclude that A) your actually getting more nicotine so you get more of the laxative effect or B) it's a side effect of quitting smoking and your body changing back to healthy.

Again, I can't believe I just read a 14 page thread about farts... ;)
 

VAPOINSANO

Super Member
ECF Veteran
Nov 17, 2010
519
626
Vapin'Hard Mang*<|;)
Bumping the best thread on the net :D

i concur warbdan.....8-o

at 1st us guys + their potty humor :facepalm: haha ?

then kept reading..........:?:

and hands down again for the woman , congrats :thumbs:

ive got water squirtin out of my eyes,
and a sore face+gut........ lmao :shock:

best thread ever!!!!!
now its christmas....,,,! :p:laugh:

ecf rocks my vapor!!!

good times lol:closedeyes:

thx
V.I.

ps. gotta love these resurrected old threads +posts.....
 
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