Why have my farts...
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A not amusing fart story in my local news 
Stabbing Suspect Was Mocked About Being Gassy: Report | NBC Connecticut
Stabbing Suspect Was Mocked About Being Gassy: Report | NBC Connecticut
Stinky farts all the time generally mean poor digestive health. Insert yogurt and fiber. Stinky farts are perfectly normal leading up to a bowel movement. If you feel the need to do some fumigation, a steady diet of taco bell for a few days will evacuate all adjacent rooms.
A not amusing fart story in my local news
Just read this story, how sad! That's just insane.
I know! What happened to the days when a bunch of drunk guys would just light their farts with a bic lighter? This was within about 20 miles of where I live. The poor kid who died looks a lot like a young Jimmy Page.
They must be very comfortable around you, or they weren't raised with any manners?
I have an aunt who can carry a conversation and fart away and not miss a beat talking. She totally acts like she didn't do a thing. And oh lord don't go somewhere with her because she likes to drop SBDs and not tell you. I don't know why, but every time we are in a store in the card isle Shell there one min showing cards and the next she's gone. Then this errosive gas seeks up into ones nostrils and commences to strangle and gag you. A warning would have always been nice, and I am wondering how many people thought that I did it? And she's never smoked.
Hell I wont even fart when the kids are in the room anymore and as much gas as I have had lately, its been "hi, you need?" Followed by "ok that's great, see you later." Just to get them to leave. Im sorry but they have gotten embarrassing lately. Instead of the usual air realeasing normal fart sound, they have been sounding like by butts about to emplode in on itself, or cause a black hole. I mean lately I keep getting asked by Kat "are you sure you don't need to go check yourself?" Or, "oh lord honey you stink!" Its bad enough when I let one loose thinking its nothing, and then sit up in it and crop dust myself. I seriously think that Kat gets a kick out of watching me do that and flail about tryingnto air it somewhere else. *shakes head*
All I have to say is that yeah maybe I should start taking some beano, but I honestly don't think its going to help.
They just don't have any manners at all. They don't just do it in front of me, its the whole neighborhood. One time a water main broke near our house and the street was flooding pretty quickly. My house is up higher than everyone else's so all the neighbors were up in my driveway talking about what was going on and just having neighborly conversations and the fart neighbors started farting, never saying excuse me, never even acknowledging their own gas! haha
Okay since you're a female and you're telling your fart story, I'll tell mine. Like I said in a previous post, I have never been much of a tooter, I belch constantly, like my pipes are messed up or something, but I very rarely fart. One time, before I got married and had children, my best friend and I went to the club and I was completely wasted. She drove me home and slept in my spare bedroom, which was across the house from the master bedroom where I slept. The next morning I was rudely awakened by a loud noise that sounded like a helicopter was landing in my backyard and there were men armed with machine guns firing from the helicopter. I quickly sat up to figure out what in the hell this noise was and realized it was my own ....! My best friend (remember, she was sound asleep in the spare bedroom on the other end of the house) came running into my room and said "What was that!?!" I had finally soaked everything in and told her it was me farting. She was both humored and amazed, we were cracking up. Later I asked her what she thought it was and she said "I thought your crazy ex had come in the house with a machine gun and was shooting the place up!" LMAO Boy was I glad I didn't bring anyone home from the bar with me that night! hehe
Okay since you're a female and you're telling your fart story, I'll tell mine. Like I said in a previous post, I have never been much of a tooter, I belch constantly, like my pipes are messed up or something, but I very rarely fart. One time, before I got married and had children, my best friend and I went to the club and I was completely wasted. She drove me home and slept in my spare bedroom, which was across the house from the master bedroom where I slept. The next morning I was rudely awakened by a loud noise that sounded like a helicopter was landing in my backyard and there were men armed with machine guns firing from the helicopter. I quickly sat up to figure out what in the hell this noise was and realized it was my own ....! My best friend (remember, she was sound asleep in the spare bedroom on the other end of the house) came running into my room and said "What was that!?!" I had finally soaked everything in and told her it was me farting. She was both humored and amazed, we were cracking up. Later I asked her what she thought it was and she said "I thought your crazy ex had come in the house with a machine gun and was shooting the place up!" LMAO Boy was I glad I didn't bring anyone home from the bar with me that night! hehe
Ok your neighbors are just too much. I mean don't they ever wonder why no one comes to their house to hang out? I am sure you all have some nicknames for them. lol
Oh my goodness now I've never had that happen. LMAO! That is the thing about liquor is can really get things moving in your system! You are lucky you didn't bring anyone home because you would have just died!
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LOL Dawn and Shell! I thought that was how you were supposed to get rid of "coyote ugly" the next morning!! They always looked better the night before anyway ha!
Haha, that's true! Even the most desperate man wouldn't have stayed long after that mind-blowing...toot!
OMG. I think I peed my pants and I am only on the first page! You guys talk about this like you are discussing last night's football game or what you want for dinner. I will have to take a little break before I read page 2
*wipes the tears from my eyes and runs to the bathroom*
*wipes the tears from my eyes and runs to the bathroom*
Honestly when I smoked I always had bad gas...I blame the chemicals.
And when I say bad I mean like if I were to have tinsel hanging on my bum around the time I farted you would have seen aggresive silver waiving as if it were watcging a son go to boot camp
Now that I've been vaping things have settled but I think nic has had its part on my farts..because now I can make NY dog give me weird looks
second place is dead last
And when I say bad I mean like if I were to have tinsel hanging on my bum around the time I farted you would have seen aggresive silver waiving as if it were watcging a son go to boot camp
Now that I've been vaping things have settled but I think nic has had its part on my farts..because now I can make NY dog give me weird looks
second place is dead last
LMAO. Hell if I would have thought of that in my younger years I would have gotten rid of them faster. For some reason they use to like me and I couldn't ever understand why. Oh wait... that's right... I remember now... lol
Wow I just read all 22 pages, funniest thread I have ever read.
I have the same problem, it seems like my farts smell 100x worse. I've always been able clear a room, but now I could clear a hanger.
Also haven't been getting much sleep cause my wife keeps kicking me out of bed when I let one rip.
I have the same problem, it seems like my farts smell 100x worse. I've always been able clear a room, but now I could clear a hanger.
Also haven't been getting much sleep cause my wife keeps kicking me out of bed when I let one rip.
LOL Jedi! I just moved to CT from Jax last spring. Lived in the Deerwood area for about 7 years
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