www.GreenhouseOne.com | FREE eLiquid Sample Pack (31 Favors)

[Smocha]

Hey ECF,

Welcome to our 8TH contest, congrats again to our previous winners toto1013, Hairball, kabonk, jbmcdan, mondotoker760, and Sdh!

We will once again be giving away our GH1 Ultimate Sample Pack that contains a 5ml sample for each of the 31 flavors we carry, a total of 155ml of amazing eliquid. This sample pack is available in 4 nicotine strengths, 12 (low), 18 (medium), 24 (high), 36 (super high)

The flavors included in the sample pack are:

1. Classic tobacco
2. USA Mix
3. Spearmint
4. Clove
5. RY4
6. Icy Menthol
7. Orange Creamsicle
8. Cappuccino
9. Pineapple
10. Milk Chocolate
11. Summer Peach
12. Energy Drink
13. Lychee
14. House Cola
15. Mango
16. Red Grape
17. Green Apple
18. Blueberry
19. Aged Whisky
20. Vanilla
21. Banana
22. Watermelon
23. Caramel
24. Very Strawberry
25. Black Cherry
26. Cigar
27. 555
28. Hilton
29. Lemon
30. Coconut
31. Honey

This is a $49.99 value, available here: GH1 Ultimate Sample Pack

To enter the contest:

1. Post a HILARIOUS joke.

or

2. A reason why someone should shop at Greenhouse One

Posts that do contain #1 or #2 , ie random posts, will not be counted.

You are allowed to ONCE every TWO hours, we will be using a number generator to randomly choose a post number in this thread to take home the gold. Post made before 2 hours will not be counted. The more you post, the higher your chance of winning! Simple.

Each post must be different!

The contest ends when the thread hits 1000 posts.

Good luck to you all!
Tim

 

[kritter]

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show
in a small town in Minnesota.

With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde
jokes.

Suddenly, a blonde woman in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts
shouting, "Ive heard enough of your stupid ... blonde jokes! What makes you think you
can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do
with her worth as a human being?
It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and
in the community, and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and
your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but
women in general and all in the name of humor!"

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells,
"You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little smart-a** on your knee!"

May as well get it kicked off!

 

[jojo1024]

This might take a some time 1000 jokes ???

 

[Pamdane]

One old boob said to the other "if we dont get some support around here, people are gonna think we're nuts".

 

[kashmoney]

Two peanuts walk into a bar.
One was a salted.




Thanks for the contest.

 

[light487]

I love "Little Johnny" jokes, so here is one of my favourites:

Little Johnny returned from school and saying he got an 'F' in Math.

"Why?" asked his father.

"The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6'"

"But that's right!", said his dad, upset at the injustice.

"Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"

"What's the f*@#%! difference?" asked his dad.

Little Johnny replied "That's exactly what I said!"

 

[Smocha]

Updated the rules!

You can now also post a reason why someone should ship at GH1!

Tim

 

[RippleInStillWater]

I won't be aroundfor the end but I wanted to post this one first!!!

Have you heard the one wear the pirate walks into the bar with a ships wheel attached to the front o' his trousers. The bartender asks, "What the hell is that ships wheel for?" The pirate says, "I don't know, but it's drivin' me nuts!"

 

[ISBN]

Updated the rules!

You can now also post a reason why someone should ship at GH1!

Tim

Why someone can and should ship at GH1!:

 

[mrjaguar]

ok, here's my entry, it's LONG, but it's worth it, the first time I read it I was laughing so hard I was crying.

This was submitted by a guy who purchased his lovely wife a "pocket Taser" for their anniversary.

Last weekend I saw something at the Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 22nd anniversary, and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse-sized Taser. The consequences of the Taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse effects on her assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.... WAY TOO COOL!

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two triple-A batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button AND pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arch of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs. Awesome!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to wife what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right?!!!

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, Taser in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water.

Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5 inches long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference -- pretty cute, really -- and loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries, thinking to myself, "No possible way!"

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.....

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as if to say, "Don't do it, master," reasoning that a one-second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad.... I decided to give myself a one-second burst just for the heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and HOLY WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, and then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs. The cat was standing over me making meowing sounds I had never heard before, licking my face.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to "mug" yourself with a Taser, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one-second burst when you zap yourself. You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor. A three-second burst would be considered conservative.

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up, and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. How did they get up there???

My triceps, right thigh, were still burning and twitching. My face felt as if it had been shot up with Novocain and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.

Still in shock

 

[MizJackson]

School yard joke.

Why does Peter Pan fly?

Well, if you got hit in the peter with a pan, you'd fly too!

 

[ISBN]

 

[RippleInStillWater]

Query: How many NRA members does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Answer: Three, one to give up the old bulb when they pry it from his cold dead fingers, one to screw it in and pose for an "I'm the NRA" ad while doing so, and one to complain about the waiting period.........

 

[ISBN]

...no one said it had to be a good joke

 

[hairball]

.... Cheek Explosion​

I went grocery shopping recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared, and consumed a massive quantity of my patented " you're definitely going to .... yourself " chili. Tasty stuff, allbeit hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written quarantee from me that if you eat it, the next day both of your .... cheeks Will fall off.

Here's the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of coffee(and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No 'Watson's Movement 2'. Despite habanera peppers swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I was unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my next door neighbor as 'thunder and lightning'.

Knowing that a time of reckoning Had to come, yet not sure of just when, I bravely set off for the market, a local Wal-Mart grocery store that I often haunt in search of tasty tidbits.

Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about and dropping items in for purchase, it wasn't until I was at the opposite side of the store from the restroom that the pain hit me. Oh don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about. I'm reffering to that "Uh, Oh,gotta go" pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time. The thing is, this pain was different.

The habaneras in the chili, from the night before, were staging a revolt. In a mad rush for freedom, they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestine, and before I could take one step in the direction of the restroom, which would bring sweet relief, it happened. The peppers fired a warning Shot.

There I stood, alone in the spice and baking aisle, suddenly enveloped in a noxious cloud, the like of which has never before been recorded. I was affraid to move for fear that more of this vile odor might escape me. Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body and I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as an ederly woman turned into it.

I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what her reaction would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to dissipate. Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally? Here's what I mean, and I'm sure some of you at least will be able to relate...

I could have warned the poor woman, but didn't. I simply watched as she walked into the invisible, and apparently indestructable, wall of odor so terrible that all she could do before gathering her senses and running, was to stand there blinking and waving her arms about her head as though trying to ward off angry bees. This, of course made me feell terrible, but then made me laugh..........Big Mistake........

Okay, when you laugh, it's hard to keep things "'clamped down", if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw and explosive issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun.

Suddenly things were no longer funny...."It" was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the restrooms, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I'd make it before the grand mal asspolsion took place. Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the inevitable "Oh My God", floating above the toilet seat because my ... is burning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of "Shock and Awe". He made a gagging sound, and disqustedly said, 'Sonofa.....!', then quickly left. Once finished I left the restroom, reacquiring my partially filled cart intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me and said, " Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem."

This of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me... The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose, and pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, " IT'S YOUu!", then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises, and asked none too kindly, not to return.

Home again without having shopped, I realized that there was nothing to eat but leftover chili, so I consumed two more bowls. The next day I went to shop at Reebles's. I can't say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter. .......s claim they're going to have to repaint the store..............

 

[valtergomes]

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."

Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."

The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

And, no better place to buy then GH1 because of their prices!

 

[ISBN]

 

[ISBN]

Just me???

 

[thughes]

Someone should shop at GH1 because of their great prices!

 

[jojo1024]

i ask my husband if he wanted to play doctors, he said yes
i said ok
Sit down and wait