Howdy thare cowgirl, lookin pretty good thare! Nice hat too, interesting that you were building them too, nice! Wish there was something I could say to make you feel better, besides saying maybe you could get another Doctor. Someone who could care and give you insight to other things that could give you hope and for other alternatives. There is a lot of info out there, that is helpful, like other methods, procedures, natural meds, diets, etc; And also Dr's in special and natural fields that may be helpful. Do you have family or others that are helpful and supportive? I'm sure you have looked into all this and more but just trying to think and be helpful and wish you could just be ok! Lotsa love to ya thare cowgirl and {{{caring hugs}}} and wishing you well! SD