Day 13
My lucky number. Almost 2 full weeks into my self-imposed turmoil of avoiding all things alcoholic. It strikes me, there are literally millions of people that choose to live their lives in this horrid fashion. Devoid of the sweet comfort that booze brings; openly facing the haunting deeds of their past instead of hiding behind a wall of inebriation and the good lord intended.
The shakes have gotten worse, although conversely, my famous scrambled eggs have gotten better. I'm sure that's merely a coincidence though. I realize now that old wounds continue to cause me grief and ache throughout my time awake. These tiny pain relief pills may as well be Pez's, wait....they ARE PEZ's...holy cow, when did I find my old Darth Vader Pez dispenser from 1983?!? Has that seriously been in my pocket this whole time? And how old are these candies? Meh, they're still perfectly good probably, nomnomnom.
I walked past a liquor store en route to the grocery store, noticed the "Missing" poster with my picture on it. They may go out of business, apparently I was an investor, not just a customer. Now my own catharsis is punishing others who just merely wanted to replace all of internal bodily fluids with fermented grain alcohol and corn mash, a victim-less crime if i ever heard one.
My coworkers have been praising me not only on my new pant wearing attitude, but apparently the nature of my work has improved from "non-existence but we don't bother him because he may violently attack us in a drunken fit or inappropriately touch the female workers" to "barely acceptable, but we'll take it because we like not replacing broken windows and furniture." Frankly, I'm more surprised those we're even choices on the HR evaluation form, and it's a stock form at that, not custom. Either way, I gave these heathens the excuse to constantly order new supplies from the office supply catalog, now how will they justify getting a new hotdog/bun toaster and popcorn machine? We may actually have a balanced budget in our department this year! How horrible would that be? Complacency is truly the most evil thing around, next to penguins of course.
Darn yous penguins....and sobriety.
