A Smile for you

[Mary Kay]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No kidding, really? Ya think?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
-----------------------------------------------------------

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
---------------------------------------------------------------

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
------------------------------------------------------

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
if that works any better than a fair trial!
----------------------------------------------------------

War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
----------------------------------------------------------------

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
----------------------------------------------------------------

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
----------------------------------------------------------

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!
----------------------------------------------

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!

-----------------------------------------------
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
---------------- ---------------------------------

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?

****************************************
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

***************************************************
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
*******************************************

And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?

 

[tmcase]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
No kidding, really? Ya think?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that's taking things a bit far!
-----------------------------------------------------------

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
---------------------------------------------------------------

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-so's!
------------------------------------------------------

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
if that works any better than a fair trial!
----------------------------------------------------------

War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
----------------------------------------------------------------

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Ya think?!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
----------------------------------------------------------------

Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
------------------------------------------------------------------------

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?
----------------------------------------------------------

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!
----------------------------------------------

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren't they fat enough?!

-----------------------------------------------
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That's what he gets for eating those beans!
---------------- ---------------------------------

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?

****************************************
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

***************************************************
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
*******************************************

And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Did I read that right?

LOL! Those were great! Where did you find those?

 

[Seabrook]

Good ones Mary Kay - every one of them. Panda mating fails - LOL.

 

[Fudgey]

Those are hilarious!!

 

[rainkeltoia]

omg MK!! lol

 

[CES]

hehehehehehehehehe

 

[Mary Kay]

I have 2 BIL and 4 SIL (Mike's sister's and brothers) They love to pass this stuff along!

 

[classwife]

Waaaay Funny !!!!

 

[Mary Kay]

 

[CES]

 

[classwife]

ohmagosh !

 

[classwife]

This took my breath away and made me cry....how joyful to see !

 

[Fudgey]

Classy....have to watch that when I get home

 

[Mary Kay]

The Center for Disease Control has issued a medical alert about a highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted orally, by hand, and even electronically. This virus is called Weekly Overload Recreational Killer (WORK). If you get WORK from your boss, any of your colleagues or anyone else via any means whatsoever - DO NOT TOUCH IT!!! This virus will wipe out your private life entirely. If you should come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises.

Take two good friends to the nearest liquor store and purchase one or all of these three antidotes - Really Urgent Medicine (RUM), Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) or Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.

You should immediately forward this medical alert to five friends. If you do not have five friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.

 

[Fudgey]

Headed to the store now!!!

 

[Lisa66]

Classy, that hawk/ultralight was amazing!!!!

MK I just knew there was something going around---- been feeling a little "off".

 

[Fudgey]

This took my breath away and made me cry....how joyful to see !

That is amazing!!

 

[tmcase]

This took my breath away and made me cry....how joyful to see !

That was amazing. Kinda choked me up too.

 

[CES]

This took my breath away and made me cry....how joyful to see !

that is amazing!

 

[Fudgey]

There's these three guys and they're out having a relaxing day fishing. Out of the blue, they catch a mermaid who begs to be set free in return for granting each of them a wish. Now one of the guys just doesn't believe it, and says:
"Ok, if you can really grant wishes, than double my I.Q."

The mermaid says: "Done."

Suddenly, the guy starts reciting Shakespeare flawlessly and analyzing it with extreme insight. The second guy is so amazed he says to the mermaid:

"Triple my I.Q." The mermaid says: "Done."

The guy starts to spout out all the mathematical solutions to problems that have been stumping all the scientists of varying fields: physics, chemistry, etc.

The last guy is so enthralled with the changes in his friends, that he says to the mermaid: "Quintuple my I.Q." The mermaid looks at him and says: "You know, I normally don't try to change people's minds when they make a wish, but I really wish you'd reconsider."

The guy says: "Nope, I want you to increase my I.Q. times five, and if you don't do it, I won't set you free."

"Please," says the mermaid "You don't know what you're asking...it'll change your entire view on the universe...won't you ask for something else...a million dollars, anything?" But no matter what the mermaid said, the guy insisted on having his I.Q. increased by five times it's usual power. So the mermaid sighed and said: "Done!"

And he became a woman.