A Smile for you
- Thread starter Mary Kay
- Start date
- th_trl_thread_readers 0
-
- Tags
- chase dragonfly halo revolution
- Status
A Woman's Poem
He didn't like the casserole[/CENTER]
And he didn't like my cake,
He said my biscuits were too hard
Not like his mother used to make.
I didn't perk the coffee right
He didn't like the stew,
I didn't mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Then I turned around and
Smacked the crap out of him...
Like his mother used to do.
******************************************
I love a good poem, don't you?!?!
LMBO!! Oh my goodness. This was just TOO funny. I read this poem to my wife, and we both laughed our butts off (together). Thanks for the great poem.
P.S. I hope you all don't mind that I come in here from time to time (I'm the alpha male
). But when I need a good laugh, this is a great place to come.P.S.S. That last comment is most certainly going to be mis-interpreted, isn't it?
Bob..lot's of guys come by to check out what the ladies are up to. We don't mind at all..just keep the posting down to a nice comment now and again..or I will unlease these crazy women on you! LOL
I LOVE vaping! 1 or 2 lousy days..not killer mind..just lousy and 5 days of yucky feelings but not bad enough to slow me dow as long as I remembered to take my NyQuil. A year and a half ago I would have been down with Bronchitis or worse. But....Then it happened..MIke got it! I dosed him right up to the eyeballs and prayed he would sleep for a week! Oddly enough he was sick for a day or so..I think it was just sympathy pains..LOL!
As we approach the beginning of another year -- I want to thank all of you for your educational emails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.
I no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, or have the waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.
I cannot use the remote in a hotel room because I dont know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.
I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking ones nose.
I MUST ALSO SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.
ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die for the 1,387,258th time.
I no longer have any money, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresas Novena has granted my every wish.
I cant have a drink in a bar because Ill wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone.
I cant eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.
I cant use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
THANKS TO ALL OF YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer buy gas without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer doesnt crawl in my back seat when Im filling up.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Fanta since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put Under God on their cans.
I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven different types of cancer.
THANKS TO YOU I cant use anyones toilet but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my .....
AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I cant ever pick up a Pennie dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting to grab me as I bend over.
I no longer drive my car because buying gas from some companies supports Al Qaeda, and buying gas from all the others supports South American dictators.
If you dont send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with ........ will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbors ex-mother-in-laws second husbands cousins best friends beautician . . .
Oh, by the way.....
A German scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.
Dont bother taking it off now, its too late.
PS: I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because I was told by e-mail that water splashes over 6 ft. out of the toilet
That's an awesome post Mary Kay! I am going to have to send that to some of my friends! I finally found the Women's Room group - glad to be here!
Hello all! I have been vaping for about 3 months now, my main PV is a V4L KR808, and I love ECF!
Happy Holidays everyone! You will be seeing more of me I'm sure!
Hello all! I have been vaping for about 3 months now, my main PV is a V4L KR808, and I love ECF!
Happy Holidays everyone! You will be seeing more of me I'm sure!
Thank goodness you found us Samsmom! Glad to see you here! Feel free to snag any of those..I get them from my 6 sisters and brothers in-laws and thier spouses!
Should I really join Facebook? (priceless)
A good laugh for people in the over 50 group !!! Also for those who know people like us.
When I bought my Blackberry I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.
That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and ev ery other program within the texting world.
My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.
The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.
I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship.
When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.
To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.
The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them in with me.
Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do toot a lot."
P.S. I know some of you are not over 50 .
I sent it to you to allow you to forward it...
A good laugh for people in the over 50 group !!! Also for those who know people like us.
When I bought my Blackberry I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.
That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and ev ery other program within the texting world.
My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.
The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.
I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-u-lating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead. Well, it was not a good relationship.
When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.
To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.
The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them in with me.
Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look. I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, No, but I do toot a lot."
P.S. I know some of you are not over 50 .
I sent it to you to allow you to forward it...
CES, I am dying! I loved the .... lab..had a few of those but they were shepards.
I loved the .... lab..had a few of those but they were shepards.
O man MK, can I relate to the GPS thing, one mistake and they never shut up, same with On Star, we don't use either anymore. LOL
- Status
Similar threads
