Thanks for the joke Wow..and here's your drink! The bar is closed for now peepz!
A Smile for you
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Thanks for the joke Wow..and here's your drink! The bar is closed for now peepz!
Awww! Thanks, MK! One down....one to go....yummmmmmmmmm!
Thanks for the joke Wow..and here's your drink! The bar is closed for now peepz!
That first one was so strong - just ideal and with a cherry too! I stuck the second one in the freezer and just finished letting it thaw.....you even put the umbrella in it! Chug-a-lug-tasty-yummm!
w/c for the joke. Not as good as the drink though.
w/c for the joke. Not as good as the drink though.
Thanks for the joke Wow..and here's your drink! The bar is closed for now peepz!
This made me smile today:
Grandaughter sitting in my lap, patting my face, says "My other Gramma has LOTS of crinkles around her eyes, why don't you?"
Lets just say she got an extra cookie
Grandaughter sitting in my lap, patting my face, says "My other Gramma has LOTS of crinkles around her eyes, why don't you?"
Lets just say she got an extra cookie
ever notice that "marriage" is just one vocal inflection from "mirage?" (it's a quote but I can't recall who said it!!!)
ever so true. the shine on mine lasted for 10 whole months and the last 6 were entirely my imagination. If they can't stay out of trouble for even the first year, then there's no hope!
Dementia quiz:
First question:
You are a participant in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
answer : If you answered that you are first,
then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are in second place!
Try to do better next time.
Now answer the second question,
but don't take as much time as
you took for the first question, ok?
Second question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are....?
(scroll down)
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are.....
Wrong again. Tell me sunshine, how can you overtake the last person??
You're not very good at this, are you?
Third question:
Very tricky arithmetic! Note:
This must be done in your head only.
Do not use paper and pencil or a calculator.
Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 now add 30.
Add another 1000. Now add 20 .. Now add another 1000.
Now add 10.. What is the total?
Scroll down for the correct answer.....
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
did you get 5000?
The correct answer is actually 4100...
If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!
Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you'll get the last question right.... Maybe...
Fourth question:
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3... Nini, 4. Nono, and ???
2. What is the name of the fifth daughter?~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
did you answer nunu? No! Of course it isn't.
Her name is mary! Read the question again!
Okay, now the bonus round,
i.e., a final chance to redeem yourself:
A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush.
By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does he indicate what he wants?
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
it's really very simple
he opens his mouth and asks for it...
Does your employer actually pay you to think??
If so do not let them see your answers for this test!
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
pass this on to frustrate the
smart people in your life!
First question:
You are a participant in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
answer : If you answered that you are first,
then you are absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are in second place!
Try to do better next time.
Now answer the second question,
but don't take as much time as
you took for the first question, ok?
Second question:
If you overtake the last person, then you are....?
(scroll down)
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are.....
Wrong again. Tell me sunshine, how can you overtake the last person??
You're not very good at this, are you?
Third question:
Very tricky arithmetic! Note:
This must be done in your head only.
Do not use paper and pencil or a calculator.
Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 now add 30.
Add another 1000. Now add 20 .. Now add another 1000.
Now add 10.. What is the total?
Scroll down for the correct answer.....
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
did you get 5000?
The correct answer is actually 4100...
If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator!
Today is definitely not your day, is it?
Maybe you'll get the last question right.... Maybe...
Fourth question:
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3... Nini, 4. Nono, and ???
2. What is the name of the fifth daughter?~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
did you answer nunu? No! Of course it isn't.
Her name is mary! Read the question again!
Okay, now the bonus round,
i.e., a final chance to redeem yourself:
A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush.
By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does he indicate what he wants?
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
it's really very simple
he opens his mouth and asks for it...
Does your employer actually pay you to think??
If so do not let them see your answers for this test!
~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
pass this on to frustrate the
smart people in your life!
Just a 'little" racy...and I am from Texas/Arkansas so I am a redneck..
A gas station owner in Mississippi was trying to increase his sales.
So he put up a sign that read, "Free Sex with
Fill-Up."
Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free
sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he
guessed correctly he would get his free sex.
The redneck guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close.
The number was 7. Sorry. No sex this time."
A week later, the same redneck,
along with his brother, Bubba, pulled in for another fill-up.
Again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the
same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. The
redneck guessed 2 this time.
The proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but
no free sex this
time."
As they were driving away, the redneck said to his brother, "I
think that game is rigged; he doesn't really give away free
sex!"
Bubba replied, "No it ain't, Billy Ray. It aint rigged, my wife won 3 times last week!
A gas station owner in Mississippi was trying to increase his sales.
So he put up a sign that read, "Free Sex with
Fill-Up."
Soon a local redneck pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free
sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he
guessed correctly he would get his free sex.
The redneck guessed 8, and the proprietor said, "You were close.
The number was 7. Sorry. No sex this time."
A week later, the same redneck,
along with his brother, Bubba, pulled in for another fill-up.
Again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the
same story, and asked him to guess the correct number. The
redneck guessed 2 this time.
The proprietor said, "Sorry, it was 3. You were close, but
no free sex this
time."
As they were driving away, the redneck said to his brother, "I
think that game is rigged; he doesn't really give away free
sex!"
Bubba replied, "No it ain't, Billy Ray. It aint rigged, my wife won 3 times last week!
I just got my new cell phone, - and it's one I understand how to operate!!!
Hahaha I Love it!
This is from one of my son's favorite websites and I have to admit it's really funny 
"Today, my four year old daughter pulled her pants down in the middle of Best Buy. Apparently, you can smell the farts better when they don't have to pass through clothing. ..."
"Today, my four year old daughter pulled her pants down in the middle of Best Buy. Apparently, you can smell the farts better when they don't have to pass through clothing. ..."
If you are 40, or older, you might think this is hilarious!
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears
with their tedious diatribes about how hard
things were. When they were growing up; what
with walking twenty-five miles to school every
morning.... Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways.
yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up,
there was no way in hell I was going to
lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about
how hard I had it and how easy they've
got it!
But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I
can't help but look around and notice the youth
of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a Utopia!
And
I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't
know how good you've got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the
Internet. If we wanted to know something,
we had to go to the library and look it up
ourselves, in the card catalog!!
There was no email!! We had to actually write
somebody a letter - with a pen!
Then you had to walk all the way across the street
and put it in the mailbox, and it would take
like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!
Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents
beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents
of all my friends also had permission to kick
our ...! Nowhere was safe!
There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If
you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike
to the record store and shoplift it yourself!
Or
you had to wait around all day to tape it off
the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over
the beginning and mess it all up! There
were no CD players! We had tape decks in our
car.. We'd play our favorite tape and
"eject" it when finished, and then the tape
would come undone rendering it useless. Cause,
hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?
We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting!
If you were on the phone and somebody else
called, they got a busy signal, that's it!
There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you
left the house, you just didn't make a call
or receive one. You actually had to be out of
touch with your "friends". OH MY GOD !!!
Think of the horror... not being in touch
with someone 24/7!!! And then there's
TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please!
You kids have no idea how annoying you are.
And
we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the
phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It
could be your school, your parents, your boss,
your bookie, the collection
agent... you just didn't know!!! You had
to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games
with high-resolution 3-D graphics!
We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space
Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your screen guy
was a little square! You actually had to
use your imagination!!! And there were no
multiple levels or screens, it was just one
screen... Forever! And you could never
win. The game just kept getting harder and
harder and faster and faster until you died!
Just like LIFE!
You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to
find out what was on! You were screwed when it
came to channel surfing! You had to get
off your buttand walk over to the TV to change
the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no,
what's the world coming to?!?!
There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only
get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you
hear what I'm saying? We had to wait
ALL WEEK
And
we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to
heat something up, we had to use the stove!
Imagine that!
And our parents told us to stay outside and play...
all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to
soothe and comfort. And if you came back
inside... you were doing chores!
And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in
the back seat and you hung on. If you were
luckily, you got the "safety arm" across the
chest at the last moment if she had to stop
suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard,
well that was your fault for calling "shot gun"
in the first place!
See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You
kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled
rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five
minutes back in 1970 or any time before!
Regards,
The Over 40 Crowd
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears
with their tedious diatribes about how hard
things were. When they were growing up; what
with walking twenty-five miles to school every
morning.... Uphill... Barefoot... BOTH ways.
yadda, yadda, yadda
And I remember promising myself that when I grew up,
there was no way in hell I was going to
lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about
how hard I had it and how easy they've
got it!
But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I
can't help but look around and notice the youth
of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a Utopia!
And
I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't
know how good you've got it!
I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the
Internet. If we wanted to know something,
we had to go to the library and look it up
ourselves, in the card catalog!!
There was no email!! We had to actually write
somebody a letter - with a pen!
Then you had to walk all the way across the street
and put it in the mailbox, and it would take
like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!
Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents
beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents
of all my friends also had permission to kick
our ...! Nowhere was safe!
There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If
you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike
to the record store and shoplift it yourself!
Or
you had to wait around all day to tape it off
the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over
the beginning and mess it all up! There
were no CD players! We had tape decks in our
car.. We'd play our favorite tape and
"eject" it when finished, and then the tape
would come undone rendering it useless. Cause,
hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?
We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting!
If you were on the phone and somebody else
called, they got a busy signal, that's it!
There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you
left the house, you just didn't make a call
or receive one. You actually had to be out of
touch with your "friends". OH MY GOD !!!
Think of the horror... not being in touch
with someone 24/7!!! And then there's
TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please!
You kids have no idea how annoying you are.
And
we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the
phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It
could be your school, your parents, your boss,
your bookie, the collection
agent... you just didn't know!!! You had
to pick it up and take your chances, mister!
We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games
with high-resolution 3-D graphics!
We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space
Invaders' and 'Asteroids'. Your screen guy
was a little square! You actually had to
use your imagination!!! And there were no
multiple levels or screens, it was just one
screen... Forever! And you could never
win. The game just kept getting harder and
harder and faster and faster until you died!
Just like LIFE!
You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to
find out what was on! You were screwed when it
came to channel surfing! You had to get
off your buttand walk over to the TV to change
the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no,
what's the world coming to?!?!
There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only
get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you
hear what I'm saying? We had to wait
ALL WEEK
And
we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to
heat something up, we had to use the stove!
Imagine that!
And our parents told us to stay outside and play...
all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to
soothe and comfort. And if you came back
inside... you were doing chores!
And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in
the back seat and you hung on. If you were
luckily, you got the "safety arm" across the
chest at the last moment if she had to stop
suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard,
well that was your fault for calling "shot gun"
in the first place!
See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You
kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled
rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five
minutes back in 1970 or any time before!
Regards,
The Over 40 Crowd
MK, you must be younger than me - Atari? Cassette tapes? Man, you had it easy! We had 8-tracks in the car - (remember those things?) and...ehr....what's an Atari, exactly?
LOVE the cellphone pic!!!
Hilarious!
:
Last edited:
I don't write this stuff I just copy and paste! I am 59 so not younger then you! I do remember buying my kids their first atari, the only game out yet was PONG!
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