So - I pulled a dumb stunt yesterday. Driving home, the wind was whipping my hair around too much, so I rolled up the window ........ on my hair. <duh>
A Smile for you
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LOL ! It hurts when you do that...and you find out a minute later !!! It's also embarassing....wondering how many people laughed at your hair out the window !!
LOL! Mike calls my SUV a 20k hair dyer! But my hair is too short to get caught in the window yet.
I have done that before.....LOL But not since I quit smoking
We had a storm Monday night and it knocked down a lot of electric poles. A lady I work with was blow drying her in with her ac in her car
I have done that before.....LOL But not since I quit smoking
We had a storm Monday night and it knocked down a lot of electric poles. A lady I work with was blow drying her in with her ac in her car
I've used a hand dryer in a public restroom for that........ got a lot of weird looks!
I just roll down the window and lean out..looks odd..but works. The problem is if I am driving the right side doesn't get dried well. LOL I am just not civilized....
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Classy gave me permission to post. yes I asked..just in case!
Mark's Scrotum - The Best Story of the Year..........
The best story of the year doesn't give the proper praise and credit for this painful but understandable story as told by a loving wife.
The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.
Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Mark, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed.
The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Mark must have experienced.
"Mark was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain."
We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Mark's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."
Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Mark.
"Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Mark is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely."
All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.
A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.
He said, "I'm Mark Smith." The entire congregation held its breath.
"I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."
Mark's Scrotum - The Best Story of the Year..........
The best story of the year doesn't give the proper praise and credit for this painful but understandable story as told by a loving wife.
The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.
Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Mark, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed.
The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Mark must have experienced.
"Mark was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain."
We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Mark's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place."
Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Mark.
"Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Mark is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely."
All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.
A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.
He said, "I'm Mark Smith." The entire congregation held its breath.
"I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum."
8-o 
That was great!!
Sounds like a time that I remember "prostrate" and "prostate" being confused.
I had to wipe off the computer screen before I could reply to MK !
How embarassed that husband must have been !!
Mike has 4 sisters and 2 brothers..they all have spouses and adult kids. I have my women's group..and then there are the "cousins". I get tons of this stuff! Mostly it's "help us find little Amy..who is fine thanks and has grandkids in Nebraska.
Lately they have decided that Mike and I need medical humor. I hate to tell them to please stop and maybe just send Maxine stuff. So that's where I get this stuff. LOL
**************************************************************
Something all of us women understand.....
While conducting some business at the Court House, I overheard a lady, who had
been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician, say, "Your
Honor, I'm guilty but..... there were extenuating circumstances."
The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly like to hear those
extenuating circumstances."
I did too so, I listened as the lady told her story." "Your Honor, I
had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept. I was met by this
perky little clipboard carrier smiling from ear to ear and she tilted her head
to one side and crooned, "Hi! I'm Belinda! All I need you to do is step
into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown.
Everything clear?"
I'm thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science."
Belinda then skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.
With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and
said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can
get everything?" Fine, I answered.
I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining
circulation in my legs and neck to finish me off? My body was in a holding
pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between those two 4
inch pieces of square glass) when I heard and felt a zap!
Complete darkness, the power was off!
Belinda said, "Uh-oh, maintenance is working, bet they hit a snag."
Then she headed for the door.
"Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?" I
shouted.
Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open
so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back." Before I
could shout NOOOO! She disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, "maintenance
men Extraordinaire" found me...half-naked with part of me dangling from
the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass!
After exchanging a polite Hi, how's it going type greeting, Bubba (or possibly
Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.
Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible,
"Uh, yes, I did but thanks anyway."
"OK, you take care now" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though
I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.
Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no attempt
to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am sooo sorry! The power came
back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we
upset?"
And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the
clamps....."
The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said "Case
Dismissed!
Lately they have decided that Mike and I need medical humor. I hate to tell them to please stop and maybe just send Maxine stuff. So that's where I get this stuff. LOL
**************************************************************
Something all of us women understand.....
While conducting some business at the Court House, I overheard a lady, who had
been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician, say, "Your
Honor, I'm guilty but..... there were extenuating circumstances."
The female Judge said, sarcastically, "I'd certainly like to hear those
extenuating circumstances."
I did too so, I listened as the lady told her story." "Your Honor, I
had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept. I was met by this
perky little clipboard carrier smiling from ear to ear and she tilted her head
to one side and crooned, "Hi! I'm Belinda! All I need you to do is step
into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown.
Everything clear?"
I'm thinking, "Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science."
Belinda then skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.
With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and
said, "Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can
get everything?" Fine, I answered.
I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining
circulation in my legs and neck to finish me off? My body was in a holding
pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between those two 4
inch pieces of square glass) when I heard and felt a zap!
Complete darkness, the power was off!
Belinda said, "Uh-oh, maintenance is working, bet they hit a snag."
Then she headed for the door.
"Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?" I
shouted.
Belinda kept going and said, "Oh, you fussy puppy...the door's wide open
so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back." Before I
could shout NOOOO! She disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, "maintenance
men Extraordinaire" found me...half-naked with part of me dangling from
the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass!
After exchanging a polite Hi, how's it going type greeting, Bubba (or possibly
Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.
Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible,
"Uh, yes, I did but thanks anyway."
"OK, you take care now" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though
I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.
Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no attempt
to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am sooo sorry! The power came
back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we
upset?"
And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the
clamps....."
The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said "Case
Dismissed!
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