A Smile for you

[Seabrook]

Mary Kay, you've got me in stitches over your last two (the cowboy boots & Col Sanders). Good ones.


Hi, Vikki59, nice to meet you.

Rave, two years - now how awesome is that!

Classy, I see that you're now an ECF moderator - WTG! You'll make a good one.

 

[Mary Kay]

Daddy, how was I born? 'Well, son, Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other. There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button , nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:YOU'VE GOT MALE

 

[Mary Kay]

I recently visited a mental institution and I asked the director, "how can you know when a person needs to be institutionalized?" He said, "Well, we fill a bathtub with water and we offer them a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket and ask them to empty the tub." I said, "I see...a normal person would choose the bucket because it is bigger." He responded, "No. A normal person would pull the plug...would you like a bed by the window?
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I would love a window view! LOL

 

[Mary Kay]

A couple is lying in bed, - the man says to the woman, I'm going to make you the happiest woman in the world.The woman replies, lock the door on your way out!!!! lol

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Jack and Jill were just married....... Jack said to Jill "Try on my pants." Jill said, "I can't do that, they are too big." Jack said, "Exactly, always remember I wear the pants in this house and always will." Jill said, "You try on my panties." Jack said, "I'll never get in them." Jill said, "Exactly, and if you don't change your attitude, you never will..!!!
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(My In-Laws and cousins are on a roll today!)

 

[Fudgey]

Yes they are

 

[CES]

Those are great MK!!!

 

[rave]

Ohmygosh MK - Those are GREAT!!

 

[classwife]

So funny ! ROFL !!!

 

[Lisa66]

Heh heh heh, MK!

 

[Mary Kay]

Spam your relatives with them..maybe one of your friends or relatives will send them back to my relatives...lol!

 

[Mary Kay]

An 80 yr Old lady was marrying for the 4th time..The newspaper asked if she would mind talking about her first 3 husbands & what they did for a living. She smiled & said "My first husband was a Banker, then I married a Circus Ringmaster. Next was a Preacher & now in my 80's, a Funeral Director When asked why the 4 Men had such diverse careers, She explained "I married one for the money, 2 for the show, 3 to get ready & 4 to go......

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A dying granny tells her granddaughter, "I want to leave you my farm. That includes the villa, the tractor, other equipment, the farmhouse and $22,398,750.78 in cash." The granddaughter, about to be rich, says, "Oh my, granny, you are so generous. I didn't even know you had a farm. Where is it?" With her last breath, the granny whispered, "Facebook".....

 

[Fudgey]

 

[Lisa66]

Cool granny!

 

[Mary Kay]

 

[CES]

 

[classwife]

Ohmagosh ! I am laughing so hard !!!


Poor kitty !!!

 

[Seabrook]

Good ones, Mary Kay. I especially like the road signs - now if more of those were put up, driving would be a breeze - no more white-knuckling driving, lol.

 

[Mary Kay]

Poor baby kitty!
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Bob forgot his anniversary Wednesday. His wife was mad. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!!!" The next morning when his wife woke up, she looked out the window to find a box… gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. . .Bob has been missing since Thursday night!

 

[Fudgey]

Poor kitty!!

That's a good one MK.....wonder what she did with Bob

 

[Mary Kay]

I don't care as long as he isn't buried around here!