I get by unless it is one of those stops you breathing and break out in a sweat for a bit stabs of pain
aspergers and vaping.
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I take lots of 500 mg Naproxin. My liver failing will one day take me out I expect.
With the new pain pill law they passed here in KY because of the pill heads and the govt punishing those like me it is very hard to get good pain pills now. They will give them to me once my liver shuts down though... go figure. One pretty much has to be terminal to get pain pills now in KY.
Made me hate both knee jerk politicians and pill heads.
They give me big Novocaine patches for when it is BAD.
With the new pain pill law they passed here in KY because of the pill heads and the govt punishing those like me it is very hard to get good pain pills now. They will give them to me once my liver shuts down though... go figure. One pretty much has to be terminal to get pain pills now in KY.
Made me hate both knee jerk politicians and pill heads.
They give me big Novocaine patches for when it is BAD.
They did something weird with Ritalin, too. The government put a cap on how much manufacturers could make each month, and near the end of the government year (July 1), I'd have to call 4-5 pharmacies to find one that still had it in stock.
yeah, I take Trazadone to sleep. Even without the pain sleep is difficult, mind does not want to slow down.
The past 48 has been rough.
Tried drinking and ended up falling off a roof and rolling my ankle bad dodging s drunk bro.
Sobered up real quick.
Then I did the whole 2 am drive after not drinking for 3 hours and drinking alot of coffee and water.
Today me and her went on a date I guess you'd say we went and looked at a jeep. Lowlights I broke down and she'd a few tears crying and cussing and punching the steering wheel because I lost it.
Highlights has a good time.
Made some major progress on regrowing myself. It will take alot. A few nights ago I wrote the note. A friend talked me down. (Not because of her but because I had so much guilt and sorrow from my past that got let out in one big shot of pain and emotion) Today I was able to laugh and smile. And be a bit light hearted. Not to bad at all when you consider the carnage. Left happily with a kiss hug and ... grab after some bangin food.
I even managed to talk about my goals of no longer caring about stupid .....
Working on building my self back up to stable. Building up some vaca time. Working on undoing some of the stuff I have done and filling the bottle again with happiness not hurt. Perhaps a new place to live.
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You know it sucks seeing who your true friends are
I have talked a few people down from the ledge. Or stopped them before they got to it. And when I snapped and broke no one was really trying to help pick up the pieces writing it off as only angst or looking for attention because I wouldn't break. A girl who I have never done anything for stopped in her tracks when I asked for some numbers of pros to call. Instead of giving them to me because she didn't have any she pried into my issues and first made me sit down then step down. I am grateful to her. Thank you my bro for dating a good person.
The girl I went on the date with doesn't know this but does know how bad of a wreck I've been and has dragged me kicking and screaming up.
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I have talked a few people down from the ledge. Or stopped them before they got to it. And when I snapped and broke no one was really trying to help pick up the pieces writing it off as only angst or looking for attention because I wouldn't break. A girl who I have never done anything for stopped in her tracks when I asked for some numbers of pros to call. Instead of giving them to me because she didn't have any she pried into my issues and first made me sit down then step down. I am grateful to her. Thank you my bro for dating a good person.
The girl I went on the date with doesn't know this but does know how bad of a wreck I've been and has dragged me kicking and screaming up.
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Valid. Just I would have thought that some people I have spent hours with making sure they were OK couldn't be bothered to help
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I think there is a good lesson in this?
Once you learn who really cares,
They become family.
And you do anything for them.
The others?
Become faces in the crowd.
I have no time for them.
I wish them no ill,
But. ... I don't need their time or space anymore.
I reserve that for "family"
Like my wife, and "the brain".
People who have shown me they care as much as I do.
Right?
Get up, shine the boots a bit.
Learn and move forward.
Yep.
Once you learn who really cares,
They become family.
And you do anything for them.
The others?
Become faces in the crowd.
I have no time for them.
I wish them no ill,
But. ... I don't need their time or space anymore.
I reserve that for "family"
Like my wife, and "the brain".
People who have shown me they care as much as I do.
Right?
Get up, shine the boots a bit.
Learn and move forward.
Yep.
I have a bunch of that stuff laying around but I don't like to take it because it makes me all groggy the next morning... When I used to be on lots of anti-depressants, I would have to take Trazadone because the anti-depressants caused me not to be able to go to sleep too well. But I don't take as much Zoloft these days and so I have no sleeping problems now.
It is sad when that happens now ain't it? But it is good and for the better.
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Same here. Being without the pain would be worth it. They can't fix mine either, without the metal screws and reinforcements.
The surgeon told me mine looks like a bunch of car wrecks too.
Gettin' old aint for sissies. lol
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