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e-pipeman

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In the news now: The FDA just tested 18 samples of antifreeze and found traceable elements of tea in one of them. Antifreeze shipments to be confiscated?

Apparently if you filter the antifreeze through a sliced loaf you can then wring the loaf out into a teapot to retrieve your favourite beverage with little in the way of aftertaste or toxins. The loaf is knackered by this process, though.
 

XeniaMike

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Did smoking kill my dog?
I recently took up smoking after reading this thread and yesterday I found my dog in the road with his thorax crushed and tyre marks on his head. Did smoking cause this?

Only if the driver of that vehicle was smoking. Clearly the FDA needs to look at smoking while operating machinery.
 

e-pipeman

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Did smoking kill my dog?
I recently took up smoking after reading this thread and yesterday I found my dog in the road with his thorax crushed and tyre marks on his head. Did smoking cause this?

Once you have eliminated all other possibilities you will be left with your answer.

Were there leaves nearby? If so he may have fallen out of a tree, or possibly been picked up by a hurricane and hurled about a bit.

Was water nearby? A dog can drown in a mililitre of water.

Did the dog smell fruity? He may have been vaping and contracted lung cancer.

The tyre-marks suggest that he may have been hitch-hiking with the usual consequences.

The crushed thorax could have been caused by an unsuccessful attempt at weight-lifting.

Hope that helps.
 

beckyblue

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ART BREAK!

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...and inspiration for all the kiddies who I hope are reading this invaluable thread:)!
 

The Ocelot

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Hey! I have one of those and resemble that remark!

Oops! It was you I was thinking of, but you know how it is. All of you foreign people look so much alike - and you talk funny - it's a natural mistake. It also doesn't help that you celebrate heathen holidays by jumping gala-esquely over fires on the night the sun never sets or some other blasphemy. You should blow things up on the 4th of July like civilized people.
 
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e-pipeman

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Oops! It was you I was thinking of, but you know how it is. All of you foreign people look so much alike - and you talk funny - it's a natural mistake. It also doesn't help that you both celebrate heathen holidays by jumping gala-esquely over fires on the night the sun never sets or some other blasphemy. You should blow things up on the 4th of July like civilized people.

Ah yes - a big holiday for Yanks approacheth. Well, I hope you all have a jolly good time! Enjoy July 4th!
 

The Ocelot

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Ah yes - a big holiday for Yanks approacheth. Well, I hope you all have a jolly good time! Enjoy July 4th!

I plan to stay home and smoke, like I do ever year. I live in the desert and there's always the risk of drunken vapers setting the sagebrush on fire. Why these maroons think setting off illegal fireworks in open land on the other side of a mountain from any water source is a good idea is beyond me. Just as far from town in the other direction is a freaking river!
 

e-pipeman

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Thank you, sir:closedeyes:. We celebrate your ineptitude :toast:! And a fish face slap to you and yours from across the pond:)!

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My ineptitude is indeed legendary, but it always helps to be reminded of it. I wish you well with your revels surrounding your meagre history (how many years? Is it even measured in centuries?). On a serious note - for once - enjoy 4th July! And as for the fish-slapping - you're always welcome!
 

mediocre toker

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Hey! I have one of those and resemble that remark!

How on earth do you resemble a garden fish tank? Are your sides transparent? Are you full of murky liquid? Do tadpoles thrive in your internal environment? Do tell!

Easy. This is what happens when on Gala day and having had a spectacularly successful fishing trip. You try and enter your own(it) house and "the wife" tells you in no uncertain terms that you smell like Billingsgate fish market and to leave that slime covered mess of a coat outside in the porch. You should try and put this sucker on now, when it's raining outside! The manifestation is still not complete. Last time i looked it was trying to grow a merman
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Nermal

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My ineptitude is indeed legendary, but it always helps to be reminded of it. I wish you well with your revels surrounding your meagre history (how many years? Is it even measured in centuries?). On a serious note - for once - enjoy 4th July! And as for the fish-slapping - you're always welcome!

You peoples might think a hundred years isn't old, but keep in mind that we do not think a hundred miles is a great distance.
 
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