Cigarette Newbie

[The Ocelot]

You peoples might think a hundred years isn't old, but keep in mind that we do not think a hundred miles is a great distance.

Unless you're in heels.

 

[kiwivap]

Independence for your county? (I missed out the "r" because you have such a tiny population in comparison to London). If there were to be a true referendum it would be about independence for London - and if that were to happen the rest of Britain would surely weep. It's like saying "Independence for Woking" - which would be truly pathetic.

Independence for London innit. Yer know whadda mean?

 

[kiwivap]

what am I doing wrong?
I just can't seem to get this smoking thing down.
I bought a "pack of cigs" I guess they are disposables since you get 20 of them....they all seem to be in the same flavor and strength....they all seem to be doa.

I take one out of the packaging and try to take some hits off of them but nothing ever happens....

The brown filter end goes into your mouth. You light the end with the tobacco visible. If the filter end is white do a quick double check to identify the tobacco end - that's the one you set fire to. Breathe in while setting fire to the end.
What you bought is crap anyway though - just get a cigar.

 

[e-pipeman]

You peoples might think a hundred years isn't old, but keep in mind that we do not think a hundred miles is a great distance.

Golly - we do! That's an awfully long way.

 

[Ref Minor]

Ah yes - a big holiday for Yanks approacheth. Well, I hope you all have a jolly good time! Enjoy July 4th!

Yes Happy Traitors Day to y'all

 

[Ref Minor]

You peoples might think a hundred years isn't old, but keep in mind that we do not think a hundred miles is a great distance.

True, you guys drive 100 miles to try a new restaurant, we drive 100 miles and stay for a long weekend to recover from the shock.

 

[mediocre toker]

You peoples might think a hundred years isn't old, but keep in mind that we do not think a hundred miles is a great distance.

You want to try and travel a hundred miles in this God forsaken car park. You may then think differently

 

[bnrkwest]

Especially if you live in NM. We drive 75 just to find a decent grocery store and cigar! LOL

You peoples might think a hundred years isn't old, but keep in mind that we do not think a hundred miles is a great distance.

 

[mediocre toker]

Tried combining my old vaping equipment with the new hobby with limited results. The tobacco burns well as usual but those Vivi novas are a bugger to get going. On the upside, you get a massive firework-like hit from a dead battery

 

[kiwivap]

Tried combining my old vaping equipment with the new hobby with limited results. The tobacco burns well as usual but those Vivi novas are a bugger to get going. On the upside, you get a massive firework-like hit from a dead battery
View attachment 227616

That would be very appropriate if the 4th of July meant you were independent.
Innit.

 

[jtpjc]

You're doing it wrong. You have to dry burn the Nova's to a crisp and then crush them to a powder before adding them to the tobacco. For extra spunk, add some hair, finger nails and/or insects.

 

[XeniaMike]

Another advantage of smoking I find is I can easily hold a cig in my mouth while doing manual labor. My old PV used to nearly yank my teeth out.

 

[e-pipeman]

Another advantage of smoking I find is I can easily hold a cig in my mouth while doing manual labor. My old PV used to nearly yank my teeth out.

Yes - they're featherlite, like gossamer ...no, I'm getting confused again...

 

[chellemmm]

Where did the LIKE button go?? ^^^^

 

[mediocre toker]

Here it is:

Damn that was my favourite smoking hand. Oh well still got the other one!

 

[e-pipeman]

Sorry to go off-topic but I'm getting a bit muddled. I have decided to get a small car for trips to the supermarket. I asked for advice in the Newbie forum but most people just say "buy a Lamborghini". I have looked at my bank account and could only do so if I sold my house and built a treadmill for my cat to generate electricity. Is this really the only solution to my shopping dilemma? Wouldn't a second-hand Daihatsu Move be adequate for my needs? Confused.

 

[Ref Minor]

Sorry to go off-topic but I'm getting a bit muddled. I have decided to get a small car for trips to the supermarket. I asked for advice in the Newbie forum but most people just say "buy a Lamborghini". I have looked at my bank account and could only do so if I sold my house and built a treadmill for my cat to generate electricity. Is this really the only solution to my shopping dilemma? Wouldn't a second-hand Daihatsu Move be adequate for my needs? Confused.

If you followed my earlier advice to get a Propipi (I assume that is why you cannot afford the Lamborghini) you will be fine.

Just walk to the nearest main road to your house and hold out your thumb whilst smoking the Propipi, before too long one of two things will happen. Firstly you will have gathered a crowd of people admiring your Propipi and you can charge them £1 for a go on it, you will then be able to afford a taxi to your destination and back. Secondly someone like this
will stop and give you a lift to the supermarket and then back to your house, you will then be able to invite the lady driver inside where if you wave your Propipi about in a hypnotic manner she may put your shopping away and convert some of it into a black pudding sandwich and toast you an Eccles cake. If you then drop hints about marriage you may be able to get her to Hoover most of the house before the effect wears off. Do not use Rohypnol as this will make you forget what has happened.

 

[e-pipeman]

If the Propipi performs as you say then great - all my shopping woes will be a thing of the past. I'm worried, though - I hear that the Propipi is made in Canada. Will the warranty still apply in the UK? What if it malfunctions and instead of the lady in the scenario you suggest an axe murderer gives me a lift? Will he still put my shopping away?

 

[Ref Minor]

If the Propipi performs as you say then great - all my shopping woes will be a thing of the past. I'm worried, though - I hear that the Propipi is made in Canada. Will the warranty still apply in the UK? What if it malfunctions and instead of the lady in the scenario you suggest an axe murderer gives me a lift? Will he still put my shopping away?

Do not fear Canadian Lumberjacks always wear a red and blue checked shirt, they are most definitely not OK to accept a lift from. Distract them with your emergency beaver whilst you make your exit.

 

[e-pipeman]

Do not fear Canadian Lumberjacks always wear a red and blue checked shirt, they are most definitely not OK to give a lift to. Distract them with your emergency beaver whilst you make your exit.

I'm having second thoughts about the Propipi. The last emergency beaver I had dammed the stream at the back of my house, causing a tsunami that was unpopular locally.

I'm thinking that a second-hand Daihatsu Move would suit my lifestyle better.At least then I wouldn't be pestered by glamorous ladies trying to cook me snacks. I'd have to put my own shopping away, though.