Cigarette Newbie

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e-pipeman

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You are such a noob... I bet you didn't even get the button nose to go with your corn cob pipe did you? I wish people would stop recommending advanced mods like the CCP to beginners, we are turning too many people off of smoking by having them believe it is to difficult in the beginning.

We were all noobs once. This is a difficult hobby/addiction/curse initially, but you can guarantee that your health will be fully compromised if you persevere.
 

DJ RyckRak

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You are such a noob... I bet you didn't even get the button nose to go with your corn cob pipe did you? I wish people would stop recommending advanced mods like the CCP to beginners, we are turning too many people off of smoking by having them believe it is to difficult in the beginning.
I agree...
It was just too complex for me...
So I gave it to ryckrak jr with a pouch of drum tobacco and a flick lighter.
He and the neighbor boys are out behind the barn now.

I'm going down to the store to get me a pack of those 'Ready Rolls' to hold me over...
till my 'Rolls Along' mod kit gits here !
 

The Ocelot

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Oh, and try looking this cool with an e-cig. That's totally impossible:

hans_098.jpg

You are so right!! No matter what e-cigarette manufacturers think and what designs they come out with, vaping will never be as cool as smoking! I mean come on, walking around with that thing stuck in his mouth? They can't be serious!

 
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The Ocelot

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As a new smoker I am looking for recommendations for vendors. I do not wish to use any foreign vendors and am looking to make my purchase within my village of Royston Vasey. I prefer to use a local shop for local people. I like to know the names of the people I make my purchases from so if you could recommend the local shop run by Edward and Tubbs that would be great. Thank you for your recommendations of my local shop.

How far away are you from Cambridgeshire? There is a fab shop in Prickwillow that carries Gitanes and Tunisian cigars (posh stuff, but well worth it!). It's run by Jules and Miriam (tell them I said hi). If it isn't open go up the road to the Lorry and Stoat, Miriam's usually there.
 

The Ocelot

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Your post reminded me of this question I have. When you get the 20 mule team kit, does it come with the names of a couple of places that offer pooper scooper services at a reasonable price? If they groom the mules it's even better. But they have to agree to take the poop they sweep away as I live in an apartment and my toilet can't handle flushing that much poop.

Do you have to give each of the mules its own name or do you just call them "Mule?" What if there is one on the couch and I want it to move? If I yell "Mule move!" will they all move? Are they easy to tell apart? I don't know if I can remember 20 names.
 

Hellen A. Handbasket

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This thread is absolutely hilarious!! It's killin' me!! People here are just way too clever.

I can't read it all right now (at work), but will need to check back later.

I've been sitting here at my desk laughing like crazy. If anyone has overhead me they are sure to see me as an insane person if I don't stop now. Been here with hands clamped over my mouth trying to stifle the laughter. :D :thumb:

That uncontrollable laughter and urge to stifle yourself is a sign that you have a nicotine deficiency from working. Hurry outside, rip off the filter of your ciggie, light it up and suck in smoke as fast as you can until you have a hot fire cherry tip about 2 inches long on the end of it. Don't worry about burning your fingers, pain is part of the cure. If you feel dizzy, you're doing it right. Repeat if necessary.

Let us know how you're doing after that if you don't pass out.

Cheers,
Hellen
 

Myk

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I don't know. You tell me!

I think it's faulty. I hang my ciggy around my neck. Turn it on with my American French crap Bic and about 3 minutes later it tastes like melted nylon and the lanyard is melted.
I should've known better than to buy American China crap for lanyards. Does anyone know of American French crap cigarette lanyards?
 
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The Ocelot

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I think it's faulty. I hand my ciggy around my neck. Turn it on with my American French crap Bic and about 3 minutes later it tastes like melted nylon and the lanyard is melted.
I should've known better than to buy American China crap for lanyards. Does anyone know of American French crap cigarette lanyards?

Is it La Bic or Le Bic? I don't want to sound like a newbie when I order and have those sneaky Canadians take advantage of me.
 
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