CONTEST - The VOLT by SmokelessImage.com

[AllYourBase]

Step 1: Click the link to my hilarious post: http://www.e-cigarette-forum.com/fo...t-volt-smokelessimage-com-13.html#post3113412
Step 2: Spend 1 minute reading story
Step 3: Laugh harder than you have in your life
Step 5: Hit the 'Like' button on that post

15 people agree, I'm already in third place! Help me get to first!

 

[Katz123]

Please Click the little blue like link at the bottom right of this post if you get a good laugh

A burglar broke into a house one night.
He shined his flashlight around,
looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,
'Jesus knows you're here.'

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.

When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard… 'Jesus is watching you.'

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.

Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.
'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you.'
The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you ?'

'Moses,' replied the bird.

'Moses?' the burglar laughed.
'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'




'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'

 

[melloyello]

YouTube - Ultimate Dog Tease

 

[jbmcdan]

on my way to work, i accidentally hit the car in front of me sitting at a stop light.
A dwarf got out of the car and stormed back to my car.
I rolled the window down and the dwarf exclaimed, "i'm not happy!"
i said, "well, which one are you then?"

lol !!!!!!!!

 

[Glam]

Sign on back of Amish buggy:
Energy Efficient Vehicle
Runs on Oats and Grass
Do Not Step in Exhaust

 

[tyleris12]

Can't believe this hasn't filled up yet!

Guess I should be glad tho, since no likes

 

[daisyd]

Please click the like button at the bottom of this post. You will not regret it.

When the children are misbehaving, there is nothing more effective than taking them for a nice quiet drive to try to make your point to them...
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[P-Dub]

Must see.
LMFAO!

EDIT! nevermind I just saw it posted earlier. Damnit!

 

[Imagine]

We have decided to give Basic VOLT kits to 2nd and 3rd place winners as well $29.99 value!!! so make sure to collect your "likes" this will keep things competitive!!!

 

[jbmcdan]

thanks, imagine! i'm really surprised this thread hasn't filled up yet --

 

[samuraijill]

Leaving Facebook... | Facebook

check this out if you love it go and LIKE POST #138!!!! I hope this makes you laugh til you pee like it did for me.

 

[RippleInStillWater]

I'm just posting jokes, I get no likes -- hmmm, what does that mean?!?!?!??

Two deadheads are on vacation in Germany and decide to visit Beethoven's grave. They approach the cemetery and are startled to find someone sitting in the open grave, furiously tearing up scores of music. Outraged, they demand to know what's going on. "Shhh," comes the reply, "...I'm decomposing."

 

[RippleInStillWater]

Last one!!!

Jerry comes to his senses right after his death, looks around and sees that he is in the midst of rock music's late great ones: Jimi Hendix, Janis Joplin, Elvis Presley, and many more. He even sees his old friend Pigpen. So Jerry walks up to him and after their initial greetings says, "This is fantastic, man! I never thought heaven would be like this, spending all of eternity playing music with all the great ones!" Pigpen looks up at Jerry and says, "What? You mean you think you're in heaven?" Just then, Karen Carpenter appears on stage, takes the microphone, and says, "Alright now, one more time until you get it right: 'Close to you.'"

 

[Imagine]

bump bump bump

 

[Katz123]

This is not an entry, just a giggle maker




A man walks into a pharmacy and says, “can I have some tampons please?”

The pharmacist replies, ” what do you want tampons for?”

The man says, “they’re for my wife.”

So the pharmacist says ok and tells him they're in Aisle 8 and the man walks away and goes down that aisle. After a few minutes, the man hasn't come back and the pharmacist starts to wonder what was going on. Figuring he got stumbled by the vast options, she decided to go and see if he needed some help.

When she got to Aisle 8, he wasn't there. She started to walk back to the front of the store when she saw him bent over in aisle 5 with armloads of cotton balls, twine and cardboard tubes...

“Sir, I though you were looking for tampons???” the pharmacist questions,

“Yeah” says the bloke, “well, last weekend I sent the wife out to buy me a carton of cigarettes and she came back with a packet of rolling tobacco and papers, so I figured “screw her, she can roll her own too!”

 

[Katz123]

.
.
Please click the like button to help me win!


A burglar broke into a house one night.
He shined his flashlight around,
looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,
'Jesus knows you're here.'

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.

When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard… 'Jesus is watching you.'

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.

Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.






'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.
'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you.'
The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you ?'

'Moses,' replied the bird.

'Moses?' the burglar laughed.
'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'






'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'






Don't forget to click the like button over here---------------------------------->



Thank you

 

[Katz123]

Wow, that is just amazing Imagine, thank you

We have decided to give Basic VOLT kits to 2nd and 3rd place winners as well $29.99 value!!! so make sure to collect your "likes" this will keep things competitive!!!

 

[ISBN]

i don't think you can like your own posts

If didn't like my own post, I would not have posted my post.

It would kind of be silly to post what I hate...

 

[Imagine]

BUMP come one guys lets wrap this one up so we can start another CONTEST

 

[Lauralie]

BUMP come one guys lets wrap this one up so we can start another CONTEST

I told you just send it to me.....I want to try one really bad (as does everyone else)

Lol.