Coping with the residuals of "Smoker's Programming"

[fourthrok]

So...a year after putting down the cigarettes for good...WHY do I still feel like I need to be concerned about how much e-juice I'm consuming? As if it was like when I was so aware of how many packs I was smoking a day (and feeling guilty about it)? I make my own e-juice now. Expense isn't really an issue as I only pay a couple of pennies per ml. Way less than a cigarette. I only vape 5mg....very negligible nicotine level, and I am on my way all the way down to 0 nicotine. So WHY AM I UPSET WITH MYSELF IF I VAPE MORE THAN 7ml. IN A DAY??????? Who cares? I'm not hurting anything or anyone...not even my wallet.

Is the "anti-smoking-programming" that deep? Will guilt always be a part of my psyche now? Anyone else find they are little "issues" similar to mine. Some little thing that keeps telling you that you ought to feel bad about some aspect of your new hobby of vaping? Or am I just weird? (Okay..don't answer that last one...)

 

[jimrug1]

So am I just weird?

Opps sorry... Wrong quote ....... ;-)~ At only 4 months in, I am not yet in the same place as you so I can't say. Maybe its a sensible little node deep in the recesses of your brain that is telling you what many of us have been taught. "Everything in Moderation" I am sure there is probably that lingering smokers psychology also. I don't think anyone knows the long term implications of inhaling the compounds that vapers do. All we are assuming is that it is not as harmful as smoking tobacco. I couldn't vape 7 ml in a day, if I tried. I am doing too high a nic level for that. I would be climbing the walls.

 

[MeaganFaria]

This is literally my first day of starting off vaping instead of smoking and I've noticed that I am watching how much I use...I think it has a lot to do with frustration of dependance on my part. I tell myself....so what, I'm not poisoning myself. But there's still that annoyance to have to answer that desire to get the nic.

 

[adeline]

I am a lot like you. I tear through liquid with reckless abandon. I just realized I'm going through ~30ml every 3-4 days. I feel like I need to slow down!!

I also DIY, and I'm down to 1mg nic. The cost shouldn't bother me. But I feel bad going through it as quickly as I do. I don't know what it is, but I'm about to start calculating how much I go through per day. And I'll figure out what to do from there. It's not an obsession, and not really a concern, but the thought it there in the back of my mind. No idea why!

I don't get it either. But you're not alone. I know I AM weird, so I can't help you there.

 

[gthompson]

Face it. You're just weird.

 

[Cookster]

Same boat here...I think, for me, it's the "can it really be this easy, and be ok?". Haven't had a cig in almost 16 months, absolutely cannot believe it.

 

[BurnZ]

This is literally my first day of starting off vaping instead of smoking and I've noticed that I am watching how much I use...I think it has a lot to do with frustration of dependance on my part. I tell myself....so what, I'm not poisoning myself. But there's still that annoyance to have to answer that desire to get the nic.

I'm a week in and I find myself doing the same thing...

 

[filter]

i am going through about 4ml of 24mg liquid per day and i feel like its too much. my gf is perplexed by how often i refill cartos since she can get through an entire day on one carto.

 

[RoseB]

Had one of these moments this morning. Dropped some juice in to my carto, and looked at the bottle. Seeing it was almost empty made me freak a bit. Have I really been using that much liquid? On the plus side I am not looking a two empty pack of cigarettes @ $7.50(each) at the end of the day

 

[adeline]

Had one of these moments this morning. Dropped some juice in to my carto, and looked at the bottle. Seeing it was almost empty made me freak a bit. Have I really been using that much liquid? On the plus side I am not looking a two empty pack of cigarettes @ $7.50(each) at the end of the day

This. Exactly. This is what I try/need to remind myself.

 

[DancingHeretik]

Guilt can be a habit.

Also, smokers learn that they have to suffer to pay for how deep down bad they. Don't you know? Smokers are evil! (Or, just inferior human beings, depending on who you talk to). Years of guilt take their toll.

Let the vapor caress you and ease your pain.

And, isn't 4 mg per day considered just average - barely? Besides, of course, some juice delivery systems just suck up the juice like crazy!

If your gf makes you feel bad about filling cartos so often, just fill them up all at once at the beginning/end of each day so that you can vape in peace.

When you see an almost empty bottle, that just means it's time to open a new one!

 

[cwolfman13]

"True guilt is is guilt at the obligation that one owes oneself. False guilt is is guilt felt at not being what other people feel one ought to be or assume that one is." ~R.D. Laing

 

[zuzette]

one of the best things about getting older is you realize that the only way to be really really happy is to give yourself permission to do so. dont wait until you are old (er) to give yourself permission NOW - life is awfully short to wait for the grey hairs to "get happy"

 

[RosaJ]

I vape about 7 ml a day and I feel fine! Who says, or where is it written how many ml's of juice is appropriate? Haven't seen anything yet. I follow my body's reaction when it's had enough of anything. I just get inspired whenever I read threads from people with COPD going to the doctor's office after getting checkups and getting a much better prognosis than before they started vaping.

If you're over 18 or 21 years old, since when have you needed someone's permission to do what you want to do? You smoked before, right?

LOL, you're in the place I'm striving to be, making my own juices to save even more money. Vape on...

 

[TonyTT]

I vape about 4ml every 2 days...I don't think amount really matters. What amount would you consider normal?
I can totally understand vaping 7ml a day at 5mg. It sounds like even though you've cut down on your nic amount, you vape an increased amount to make up for it. Kinda like switching to light analogs, and smoking twice as much (sorry for the example).
I also suggest maybe getting a heavier pv, or at least attaching weights to yours. I use a provari, and sometimes it just comes down to being to lazy to pick up the sucker. I also don't know if it's correct, but I still use roughly the same routine I would have when I smoked. This means that unless I'm at home, I usually wait till I can go outside to vape. I have a lot of friends who still smoke, so I still wait to go out with them when at work, school, or a social event. I also still pay retail for my juice, which keeps me honest I guess

 

[TonyTT]

I also forgot to ask what juice delivery system you're using. I find with just stand-alone cartos, you get an unrealistic read on how much juice you're actually vaping. I usually would fill up a carto with like 1ml and it would last me about half an hour to an hour before I had to top off again. But to be fair, there's a difference between how much juice you're vaping and how much juice is left in your carto. I think having a tank or clearomizer system would give you a more accurate read on how much juice you're actually using.

I guess to elaborate, I would cycle about 3-4 cartos a day, topping them all off every hour or so, and wasting a ton of juice in the process (leakage, spillage, etc). So about 3ml of juice kept my cartos from burning, 2ml ended up on my lap or in the little condom, and I think I probably vaped maybe 2ml in all actuality.

Now I just fill up my tank when it's empty, and 2-4 days later, I fill it up again....

 

[JENerationX]

Think about the cigarettes you didn't smoke, the taste buds you didn't kill, the nasal passages that aren't full of tar, and smile. Then vape your face off.

 

[Buggs5347]

I know how you feel. I'm in the same place, working my way down to 0 nic. It's because you know you are still addicted. It is an addiction. It's controlling you and you want to control it.

 

[Racehorse]

Is the "anti-smoking-programming" that deep?

I don't think its that so much as realizing that smoking and vaping are not really anything alike. AT least, it hasn't been for me.

For whatever reason, I never have really connected those 2 things, so maybe i'm the weird one.

Vaping for me was just a way to get off cigarettes. It never occurred to me to compare them because they don't seem at all similar to me. I never even had a desire to vape "tobacco" juices, but went straight to coffees and fruits.

I just wanted to keep nicotine in my body and control it by dropping it down slowly, and vaping seemed like "fun" and that it would be enjoyable, moreso than pharmaceutical prescription meds or patches.

As for your guilt, whatever keeps you off analogs is great, so you are doing great!

 

[Racehorse]

the nasal passages that aren't full of tar

Jen, this is something that always really bothered me! I couldn't "see" my lungs, but I sure could see and feel that tar in my nasal passages. Ugh.

The only guilt I feel now is that I abused my body smoking for so many years......well, I don't really feel guilt, just a twang of regret. But both of those emotions are essentially "a waste of time" so I don't allow myself to indulge them much. I just switch my thought to something else......because I can.