I want an opinion, an honest one.
I recently had my fil tell me that I am too defensive about my children. My initial thoughts were, yes, I am defensive. I will admit that. On the other hand, I have reason to be, at least I used to and still do at times. It started when Alex was 2. To have a doctor tell you the child you've nurtured and loved the past two years has autism and will not be a regular kid that grows up to play sports, go on dates, but ends up being the kid being picked on and left out. That's quite a jolt. Then to have a second child diagnosed with not one, but two lifelong disabilities, that was jolting too. My defensiveness comes from the fact that ever since they were very young I've had to fight, scratch, claw, and struggle to get fair treatment for them in school, with extended family and within the community as a whole. I've thought a lot about this recently and realize it's time to leg go a bit. Unfair treatment because of not understanding the people that they are, not understanding that they sometimes don't fit into the "norm" of society still happens. It's my first instinct to protect them and fight to have them treated with respect. That's been ingrained in me from the beginning. Any parent knows that you'll go to extraordinary lengths to protect your child. The time has come to let it go a bit but it's just really hard. So with that said, yes, I am defensive about my children. It's been my life for the past 17 years and I'm justified in what I have had to do for them and in feeling defensive. I am not ashamed of it nor am I going to deny that I can be a b!tch when provoked. That will never change. They are my kids and I will always have a right to stand up for them.
I just had to get that out. I've been stewing about it for weeks now and know that it's not something that can be said to my inlaws without causing problems. So I said it here. Now I feel better.
I recently had my fil tell me that I am too defensive about my children. My initial thoughts were, yes, I am defensive. I will admit that. On the other hand, I have reason to be, at least I used to and still do at times. It started when Alex was 2. To have a doctor tell you the child you've nurtured and loved the past two years has autism and will not be a regular kid that grows up to play sports, go on dates, but ends up being the kid being picked on and left out. That's quite a jolt. Then to have a second child diagnosed with not one, but two lifelong disabilities, that was jolting too. My defensiveness comes from the fact that ever since they were very young I've had to fight, scratch, claw, and struggle to get fair treatment for them in school, with extended family and within the community as a whole. I've thought a lot about this recently and realize it's time to leg go a bit. Unfair treatment because of not understanding the people that they are, not understanding that they sometimes don't fit into the "norm" of society still happens. It's my first instinct to protect them and fight to have them treated with respect. That's been ingrained in me from the beginning. Any parent knows that you'll go to extraordinary lengths to protect your child. The time has come to let it go a bit but it's just really hard. So with that said, yes, I am defensive about my children. It's been my life for the past 17 years and I'm justified in what I have had to do for them and in feeling defensive. I am not ashamed of it nor am I going to deny that I can be a b!tch when provoked. That will never change. They are my kids and I will always have a right to stand up for them.
I just had to get that out. I've been stewing about it for weeks now and know that it's not something that can be said to my inlaws without causing problems. So I said it here. Now I feel better.
I'll ALWAYS think of the perfect thing I should have said... the next day. 
