Well, my experience today helped to prove a point to myself. I have been in a very pissy mood for the past few days, dunno why. Last night, I started to crave a cig - you know, where you can't keep your mind from thinking about having one. I made it through last night and up until this afternoon. I guess that I needed to see if my pissy mood was based in part on not having a cigarette.
So, I head up to the store and get a pack of my trusty Marlboro Gold (who knew that they aren't called lights anymore?) I opened the pack on the drive home, pulled one out, lit it up and was really expecting that "release" and "aaaaaaah" that I have felt for the past 100 times that I have quit and re-started.
Not this time. While the act of smoking felt very familiar (I smoked for over 30 years), I didn't get the "aaaaaaah". I also noticed that it didn't taste all that wonderful. The smoke was noticeably weaker than the juice I have been vaping which surprised me. The ashes were blowing around in my car which used to always annoy me (not an issue with vaping). So, I spent $6 for one cigarette. The other 19 are still sitting in the kitchen, but given a choice between the excellent nHaler Pomegranate I am puffing now and the Marlboro, I would choose the vape.
I am really very surprised at this result. I have attempted quitting many, many times in the past with varying lengths of success from a couple of days to a few weeks. Every time, I have restarted in the exact same way that I did today - the righteous trip to the store, the anticipation of the first puff, the immediate relaxation and the realization that hell, I am a smoker and this is bigger than I am.
I'm in my seventh week of not officially smoking, and there is definitely something to this method for quitting. The psychological piece seems to be the hardest for me. And yes, even though I smoked, I am still in a pissy mood. Guess it has nothing to do with smoking or vaping