Criticized by my smoking mother for vaping!

[DaveP]

It's just a little jealousy and guilt, IMO. To her, you represent the person who drives all over town to show off their new car. Everyone wants one, but you already have it and they don't want to hear about the leather seats and the snazzy sound system.

It's rough putting up with smokers who don't want to think ecigs are better than smoking. They won't understand until they make an honest effort to switch and give ecigs a try. The media has only talked about how they contain a component of anti-freeze and carcinogens. They don't want to understand that PG is not a bad thing and the carcinogens are a trace remnant of nicotine extraction from tobacco, similar to Nicorette gum. Most think nicotine causes cancer. The medical profession says not.

Give her time to see that vaping has taken away your cigarettes. Leave a printed article that explains ecigs lying about. She may just be defensive and thinking that you will try to convert her. So, she lashes out before you do.

 

[tlmoody27]

Leave a printed article that explains ecigs lying about.

I plan to do just that next time I go over.

 

[bodrell]

That must be very frustrating for you! I'm sorry you're not getting support from her.

I agree with those who say she's being defensive out of guilt or jealousy/envy. Not the same as your exact situation, but the husband of one of my closest friends is very negative about my vaping to the point of being quite rude about it - and I am absolutely not in any way pushy or "evangelical" about vaping. Which is weird because he's normally an extremely cheery and positive type guy. He has some significant health issues directly related to his behaviour choices (very overweight, eats horribly, heavy smoker, gets zero exercise) and aggressively refuses to change anything that he's doing. I decided he's in major denial and my switch from smoking to vaping feels like a threat to him.

 

[Mac]

Addiction can make us say and do crazy things. FWIW I do this for a living and consider myself an expert. I have sent my mother over $500 worth of e-cig stuff. She'll quit for a few months get drunk, lose her e-cig and go back to smoking. God knows how she could have lost that much stuff and I have often wondered if that isn't just an excuse. But it's kind of hard to verify as she lives 1000+ miles away from me and we don't talk much. If you feel better and are not smoking then that's all that matters. As frustrating as your situation may be, you are doing the right thing.

 

[ingerri]

sorry ur mom doesnt support you. my mom never liked that i smoked and hadnt seen her since christmas until mothers day. she is a very critical person. out of respect i told her i was stepping outside and grabbed my pv(instead of smokes), she said whats that. i told her that was whe she bought me for christmas(she gave me cash, LOL) and was explaining it to her. to my surprise she told me i could use it in her house and was glad to hear i had quit smoking. i was in total shock.

i say keep up the good work. like u said ur a grown woman and ur doing whats right for you...VAPE ON!

 

[RayN]

If someone criticized me for vaping while they were having a cigarette. I'd be too busy laughing at them to discuss the finer points. LOL

 

[ingerri]

hit the "like" button because there was no "love it" button. LOL

If someone criticized me for vaping while they were having a cigarette. I'd be too busy laughing at them to discuss the finer points. LOL

 

[JC Okie]

hit the "like" button because there was no "love it" button. Lol

amen!!!

 

[DaveP]

Family members on both sides ask me when I'm going to quit "that thing". I tell them it's not in my future plans, although I may outgrow it at some point. Then, they comment, "Doesn't that stuff have anti-freeze in it?". I have to sit them down and explain it again, including the part where they brushed their teeth with it this morning, just ate it in their salad dressing, and rubbed it on their face before they went to bed last night (ladies) or after you shaved this morning (men). I tell them to start looking on their labels for propylene glycol and see just how many products they use contain it. "Oh, and it's in the snowball juice that they serve at your kid's ball games and in the ice cream in your freezer".

And, that's just the propylene glycol. The rest is mostly food grade cake and candy flavoring and water. You eat that, too. Nicotine isn't any worse for you than caffeine and it useful for those who have memory issues. Carcinogens? Yes, but only in trace levels, similar to nicotine gum and it's just a very low level artifact of nicotine extraction and isn't considered enough to consider.

Eyes get wider as I talk. I'm sure I make label readers out of all of them.

 

[Jimi D.]

My Mother doesn't even know I vape. I grew tired of all her criticisms. After she told me that I was making a big mistake, for getting back with my Wife after 12 years of separation. My Wife also made the choice. Probably due to my decision of becoming a sober and happy person! I'll never forget those words what my Mother said. "Jimi, you don't need treatment".

 

[OnnaB]

I have yet to announce, to friends and family, that I'm no longer smoking. In part I know at least 1 person will say, "If you're using that thing...then you haven't quit"! I leaned over my mother-in-law's shoulder the other day and said, "Hey Mom...4 days and no cigs"...hoping to get some nice reply. Instead I got,"Well...you still smoke that thing!". Sigh.....I tried to explain that nicotine isn't what kills smokers...it's the burning tobacco, paper, and added chemicals. Yep...she shut her ears off at that point. I am convinced that some people would just rather be critical and parrot all the negative stuff they hear. We are all here to support you....ignore Mom for now. Maybe she'll come to you and ask how vaping works, etc...someday.

 

[hairball]

If I were you, which I'm not but you get the picture, I would stand toe-to-toe with her and politely tell her that she has her life to live and so do you. I would also let her know that..."I'm a grown woman and will make my OWN choices which doesn't give you the right to put me down for it."

Also, print off some pamplets from here and leave around her house...it might just wake her up or make her mad but whatever it does, maybe she'll backoff of you. CASAA Printable Material

My Mom never judged me but my Dad did just once. He told me I should just "quit" like him and Mom did. I also reminded Dad that he just didn't "quit"...they both used the patch and still smoke at the casinos. I got Mom on an ecig a little over a year ago. I was sitting at a machine beside her and both of ours were hitting well. She ran out of cigs. I slid her an eGo battery loaded with peach. Well, when we got back to their house, I ordered her and Dad both a kit, juice, and cartomizers. I showed them both how to use them. Since then, I have them both setup with tanks so they don't have to worry about refills while playing. It's the only time the use them which is still better than smoking...even if only using for a few days.

 

[ohai]

My mom has been great about my switch to e-cigs, and I even convinced her to join me, but this is an exception for her, rather than the rule. I come from a family of natural born addicts, and I am currently the only member of my family who does not abuse alcohol- if I have a drink, it's one drink, and I rarely finish it, for good very reason- I'm not a good drunk. I dislike alcohol, I dislike being drunk, and I dislike how alcohol effects the behavior of those around me, so I choose to avoid it. It probably isn't easy for a family of alcoholics to not take this personally, and they do get pretty defensive and derisive about it, especially when they've been drinking, because in my family, we get mean when we drink. My choice seems to them to be a condemnation of their choice, which I suppose it is, to be fair, but for me, it's self preservation. I'm not going to sacrifice my health and peace of mind to make other people feel better about pickling their livers and ruining their relationships, no matter how guilty they want me to feel about it. I know I'm doing what's right for me, and I don't need their respect for it, which is probably a good thing, because I know I'll never get it.

 

[tlmoody27]

When I went to my grandmother's house today she told me to ignore what my mom has to say about it and do what I'm doing.

 

[Ratchet]

I spent the day with my mom today and all she did was criticize me every time I took out my pv, which was only when she lit up a cigarette.

She started by asking me why I'm using that "thing" since nicotine causes cancer. Did you really just ask me that question??? The more I tried to explain it to her the worse it got. According to her I "look silly and stupid sucking on that thing" LOLOL!! And she said she's going to buy me a pacifier to dip my liquid in and then I can just use it because that's about how I look. She said that nicotine wasn't good for me either. Well neither are those 10 coca colas you drink a day but I'm not telling you to not drink them and vaping is better than the 3000 other things in a cigarette to DO cause cancer. It tastes better than cigarettes, I can breathe again and I don't smell like an ashtray anymore. I told her I'm not asking her to quit smoking, just asking her to accept that I'm NOT going to smoke anymore, I"m going to vape instead. Really wanted to say that I'm a 38 year old grown woman with two children and have been married for 17 years and I don't think I need your approval, but I didn't say that. I just thought on some level she would maybe be proud of me for not smoking anymore, but guess the jokes on me.

Thanks for reading my rant and letting me vent. Figured someone here might understand.

Don't let her get to you. I had my Brother in Germany on skype the other day and he HATES the fact that I'm vaping. Says it looks like I'm smoking you know what. LOL! And he's a heavy smoker that's constantly complaining about coughing too much....... Go figure!
My husband (a smoker) has accepted the fact that I vape but he thinks it's silly (like your mom and the pacifier thingy). He doesn't like me vaping in the house because he doesn't like to smell sweet, bakery type eliquids, but he puts up with it because he knows he can't ban me outside. As a compromise, I don't vape my favorites (Pchela's Famous Five Layer and Newtella juice) in the house while he's at home, I limit it to Creme de Menthe, Butterfly bait, and Mint Sweet Tea. Makes him happy and I'm still happily vaping in the house. Once he goes to work - out comes the bakery! LOL!

 

[SazoidX]

How frustrating!
I think that's been the most frustrating thing about switching for me - the hate from some regular smokers. You would think that they would understand...
I totally understand if you don't want to try vaping (well, not understand, but accept ;D ) but don't make fun of me for it.
But then I remind myself that I have a bazillion awesome flavors and a bunch if cool accessories to try!
And in all honesty I've gotten a ton of positive feedback as well. It's way cool when someone wants to know what I'm doing and I can share all my new found knowledge (thanks ECF! )

 

[DC2]

If this was my mother this is exactly what I would say to her...
"Mom, I had no idea you were this freaking stupid"

Now you should understand, my mother has a 150 IQ so we all know she is not stupid.
So saying that would certainly be a big wakeup call.

She would have to consider just how stupid is she really being.
And at the very least she would immediately realize that I think her opinion is a waste of words with me.

But I guess it might not go over so well with someone that really was stupid.
Or someone that derives pleasure from wasting words.

 

[DezRo]

Hey, not ALL moms do that. I'm very supportive of my daughters in whatever choices they make. Moms walk a very, very fine line. You tell me you're on a diet--what do I say? "I'm proud of you," which you will then take to mean, "It's about time, you fat pig," or "You don't need to lose weight, you're perfect as you are," which you take to mean I don't support your effort. It's not always easy being a mom.

In this case, I do agree that the mom is sabotaging the OP, most likely because she feels threatened by losing her smoking companion. She's probably not ready to quit with e-cigs or anything else, so making fun of the OP makes her feel less guilty about her own smoking. Just my two cents.

That's not a symptom of being a mom. That's a symptom of having daughters.

 

[Elle]

Oh how moms love to sabotage! Its just like when you tell your mom youre on a diet and she then comes over and brings you your fave cake!
Keep up the good work and dont let your mom get ya down. Deep down she may just be jealous.

My thoughts exactly!

 

[WolfeReign]

I don't understand ...... sometimes, lol!

Notice he says this and yet he understands me perfectly fine

TLMoody27? have you seen this write up on nicotine? And did you know that it is also naturally occurring in fruits and vegetables?

In 1812 the believed that Nicotine was able to cure certain forms of paradises to weaker based poisons, while here in 2012 there are cases of those with Rheumatoid Arthritis who have been able to find that it is managed better with something such as a e-cigarette which gives a "direct shot" or being a better "delivery system" of nicotine to the blood stream, while others who have anxiety attacks are able to live fuller and happier walking away from heavy medications.

This being said; This is your Mom, and looking at it straight on it would seem like she is "on your back" for using a PV, but what she was meaning is that she is worried about her child and not sure how to go about addressing her concern. I mean does she have a computer? Does she have/know where to look to get more information on PV's and APV's?

Bare in mind she has how many years of her own personal experience with cigarette's and information she gathered sub consciously (through TV, Radio, Magazine) that is working against her.

Have you tried the approach of talking to her like she just picked up a fumma (lets say: that is what i started with in December lol), It could be that every time she seems to be coming down on you it is her way of opening up the lines of communication to receive information that will assure her that her child will not wind up six feet under, as that is every parents fear that they are going to have to bury their own child....

I know this is not really the information you wanted but i hope it helps