Damn and double damn!

[Dale]

Stuck at work at the radio station on a Saturday night... the only work I have to do takes place in the first hour of the shift when I program the automation system to do my job for the seven hours that follow.

Finding nothing much worthwhile on television, I decided to kill some time by cleaning out my cubbyhole... and there at the back amidst the packets of soy sauce, stacks of ancient memos and the travel toothbrush I find two old "emergency" Winstons in a crushed soft pack! Matches, too (a box of wooden matches, of course, the most irresistable sort)! I held out as long as I could, which was about 90 seconds, then had one.

I'm a bit ashamed, but at the same time feeling a little buzzed. Now I've got a bit more than 4 hours to go in the shift and I'm trying to decide whether to shred the second little white ....... or save it for later tonight.

I've just written a paragraph about how nice it was and then deleted it. I think I require a strong combination of chastisement and encouragement.

 

[CaSHMeRe]

Dale, Dale, Dale ...

Don't get down on yourself bud. Just the fact that you have this contemplation is a huge step in the right direction. Take this as a learning step.

I have even fallen off the bandwagon ... As soon as I am done, I remember why I hated them in the first place. I immediately run in, wash my hands, and even wash my face. The stench stays with me for hours, and its enough of a smell to remind myself never to do it again. Butttt .... several more weeks go by and I forget ... hmmm ... I wonder what it was like again. Then, I am right back to where I started.

Stick with it Dale ... you'll come out ahead in the end!

 

[KatyS]

I have had 3 or 4 since April. What I find is that it reinforces why I quit. It taste terrible, smells awful and is dangerous. Then glad to get back to my e-cig. It's ok, don't feel bad, it eventually reinforces the e-cig in the end.

 

[Dukeboy08]

I feel sometimes that this Forum is great for not just learning about the E-cigs but for much more...It's place where you can let it all out and people are here for you mentally and emotionally. It's Like Celebrity Rehab with Dr Steve for smokers and without the Celebrities..
Ok well I guess what i'm, trying to say is I think all of us Have one goal: To Stop the Addiction, and I Feel like Everyone I have spoke to on here really cares and That does make a difference not only to me but Everyone that has this Struggle day in and Day out. Thank you to everyone that helps!! It Can Happen and We Can Make our own Change!!

Dale You Can do it!!

 

[Mommyshann]

Dale, having done the exact same job at a radio station for a few years trust me when I say it is completely understandable. Any job that damnably boring would drive one to not only smoke but also to drink, pick their nose, and a myriad of other distasteful things to pass the time. There's only so much you can do in that quiet building listening to the neverending drone of the transmitter room, whatever crap is playing on the air during your shift and finally wishing like hell that some great catastrophe would take place to render to automated system useless so that you can finally man that board and take to the mic to save the day while at the same time rendering yourself a hero to the General Manager and Programmer to the point that they give you your own live overnight show and forget that easy to use and dependable satellite feed.

In short...it's ok. We all have those days. Just kick yourself in the ... and go back to your boring existence.

 

[Frankie]

...I'm trying to decide whether to shred the second little white ....... or save it for later tonight.

How about just saving it for a sort of vague indetermined "later"? I keep the last opened pack (probably some 25-30 cigs left) at home and the emergency one cig in the car that has always been there. I have not touched them yet, hopefully never would. but the knowledge that they are here and I am not forced to do anything, that I can have them anytime I bl**dy wish, but I just do not wish just now helps me a lot.

On second thought, though, I think I put the pack somewhere out of sight, not on its usual place.
EDIT: No. It´s still there, on top of medicine cabinet in the bathroom, where they do not get so dry so quickly. Anyway, the worst sight for me is not the pack, but the dopor to the balcony where I used to go smoking for the last 15 or so years.

 

[dc2k08]

I have to admit, i do indulge in a crafty one now and again but less so these days as now with any temptation I ram that e-cig in my gob and suck on it until the feeling goes. it does not help though that i live with smokers but boy do they smell disgusting. don't know how any non-smoker managed to sit beside me before. also i am reminded of tom waits' conversation to iggy pop which i have mentioned before but it is worth mentioning again cause i think it's so funny.

"the beauty of quitting is that now that i've quit...i can have one"
check it out after 2.30 mins

 

[Tetsab]

Dale, I'm in total agreement with all of the above. I'm still very new at this and still have a fair 'stock' of my formerly beloved Marboros which finances dictate I can't afford *not* to smoke. Even worse, a stock of rolling tobacco which was making me cough really badly (major reason for getting my first e-cig) and the same applies! Once supplies of these run low I'll feel much safer.

And yet after only a couple of weeks I'm coming to prefer vaping and only having a few analogues a day, it has really cut me down on tobacco and that can't be a bad thing, can it?

Who knows, perhaps someone will come up with a really easy method for turning my now rather unwanted tobacco into home-made nicotine juice I'd feel confident about vaping. Sorry to Tropical Bob et al, (and I will keep looking) all methods I've seen so far look pretty messy & possibly just turning tobacco into concentrated tar to inhale...

I must echo the posts above though - this forum is very supportive as well as informative and I'm really glad I found it. Only real problem I have so far is looking at you guys' locations...on a drab, grey, damp day at the .... end of November in the dear old UK (yes, we do pronounce it 'Uck' sometimes) how much would I rather be in, say, California...

 

[Frankie]

Do you donate to charities? That might be a way of nice and clean use of your stock. Just give them one by one to the homeless you encounter. You will score a lot of good deeds, the cigs will be used and you can then just keep the money you would give to a charity.

 

[Tetsab]

Frankie, I do give to charities but sadly I'm so broke at the moment I've had to cut it back to just our local hospice who looked after my mother at the end of her life.

As I told Greenpeace when I resigned, all the time I'm running on overdraft and credit cards (ALL the time at present) I'm actually BORROWING money to give to you!

Great idea though, and should hopefully be great for anyone's karma who does take up your suggestion

 

[TropicalBob]

Dale, there have been so very many times in the past 16 months off cigarettes that I would have quickly smoked one had it been available. I'm still off cigarettes precisely because I would have to "pull the trigger" -- buy a pack. And I haven't done that.

You will quit when the time is right. No sooner. If you don't quit, so be it. Smoking affords smokers a great deal of pleasure (yes, with dangers that are known and accepted). But most smokers trying to quit backslide. Often many times. Mark Twain said it best with his usual witty wisdom:

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

 

[TheEmperorOfIceCream]

Hi Dale

I posted the link below in the Still Smoking poll. Don't beat yourself up. For me, it's perfectly acceptable to fall off the wagon every now and then and not the killer mistake it used to be in my cold turkey days.

All the best

Emp

http://www.e-cigarette-forum.com/fo...-discussion/3837-still-smoking.html#post61060

 

[BadSeed]

Yep. There's no problem with having one if you feel like it as far as I'm concerned.
If you want a cigarette have a cigarette. just go back to vaping afterwards.

 

[Dale]

I thank everyone for their supportive words. I felt pretty guilty that evening, like I'd let myself down, but you've all given me some perspective... and it isn't as if I went out and bought a pack... I just stumbled across an old stash.

Anyway, the secret stash of two is now exhausted and I've gone back to vaping without pain or remorse. I've been enjoying CaSH's new chocolate flavor... which I didn't take to right away but which has quickly grown on me... but I've got my supermini close at hand with a tobacco-flavored juice ready to go in case I need to combat a sudden craving for a more traditional smoking experience.

Again, guys... thanks!