Demonstrating that children believe that deadly tobacco products are harmless candy, an experimental study

[Bill Godshall]

Demonstrating that children believe that deadly tobacco products are harmless candy, an experimental study http://ep-ology.blogspot.com/2012/02/latest-in-tobacco-candy-research.html

This is a hilarious study parody by Carl Phillips that mocks the prohibitonists who claim kids think new tobacco products are candy.
Lots of laughs.

 

[TennDave]

Very funny!

 

[CJsKee]

I almost snorted coffee through my nose when I read that! Carl is such a hoot

 

[rothenbj]

I agree on snorting coffee, glad I wasn't drinking any. Classic in every sense.

 

[TennDave]

I say Publish It!!! Or at least Leak it to a Large Research/Newspaper!! LOL

 

[Vocalek]

The last two lines of the abstract are 100% true.

Conclusions: Smokeless tobacco products should be stored with the same care recommended for other somewhat hazardous items found in the household, rather than displayed on plates or stored with candy. Children should not be presented with toxic substances in contexts that send the message they should eat them, and should not be told to think of them as candy.

Too bad these ideas never occurred to the the geniuses that create bogus research products involving innocent children.

 

[Kurt]

Pure genius. Renews my faith in the intelligence of Man.

 

[BoiseMike]

I started reading it, not realizing it was a parody. It seemed absurd enough to be genuine anti tobacco product to me. Without disclaimers in it I can see how the anti crowd just might take it and run with it. For the children of course.

 

[DC2]

While the children reached for the nicotine solutions more than twice as often as any of the other sippy cups solutions, there appear to be some confounding variables that could invalidate these results. First, the two nicotine solution sippy cups were placed at both ends of the arrangement. It might be argued that the test subjects would be more likely to grab a sippy cup from the end. Second, one of the nicotine solution sippy cups looks like a cute little kitty cat.

 

[KeithB]

IQB contributed statistics and words; he offered some amusing suggestions for embellishing the stories about the previous research, and was utterly floored to learn that we could not make those changes because the reported background was actually an accurate description of reality.

My favorite part.

 

[VapApe]

Humm, Lets see were would be the best place to leak this.

 

[carlvphillips]

Hi, everyone. Thanks for the good words.

DC2, you overlooked the biggest problem in the design: There were twice as many cups containing nicotine solution as containing water (though the other biases you identify were part of the game too).

I think someone would earn an honorary degree in epidemiology and tobacco harm reduction research if they could actually identify every joke in there. This is one of those moments when every writer wants to be Pynchon.

 

[DC2]

DC2, you overlooked the biggest problem in the design: There were twice as many cups containing nicotine solution as containing water (though the other biases you identify were part of the game too).

I was too busy looking at the cute little kitty cat.

 

[carlvphillips]

I was too busy looking at the cute little kitty cat.

My baby son (who is the second author and the inspiration for the story of the subject who called everything "cat!") loves that cup. I probably underestimated how often it would be chosen when making up the number for the OR. Oh, well.

 

[DC2]

My baby son (who is the second author and the inspiration for the story of the subject who called everything "cat!") loves that cup. I probably underestimated how often it would be chosen when making up the number for the OR. Oh, well.

Keep in mind, there may be some test subjects who would think it was a big scary tiger RAWRRR!!
Of course, that would tend to push the results in the completely opposite direction.

Damn those confounding variables!