I'm sorry to hear it's been harder for you. I experienced slightly different symptoms, but had to change strategies somewhat too.
You may be more sensitive than most to loss of the additional non-nicotine alkaloids in tobacco. I think people like you and I are more liable to have used tobacco as an antidepressant, for which nicotine alone is not a perfect substitute. Without the other alkaloids in tobacco, including the mild (i.e. reversible, unlike pharmaceutical) MAOIs, nicotine can feel unbalanced -- causing anxiety or irritability among other issues.
Talk to your doc(s) about adjustments you can make. Unfortunately some doctors are more enlightened than others. You might just hear "well of course, you're experiencing tobacco withdrawal, it'll pass" in which case I recommend suppressing the counterproductive urge to beat them with a stack of medical journals.
In any case, check out the
Other Alternatives To Smoking/Smokeless Tobacco subforum for ideas on ways to get the alkaloids your body is probably missing. (
This massive thread involves a lot of discussion among those of us seeking the alkaloids and finding out how to get them.)
Snus for me has lately been a revelation (the mini portions are not too big for a lady

); some people find dissolvables like Stonewall/Ariva work better and more conveniently; others like snuff.
Also, side note: Get your thyroid checked in a full panel if at all possible -- even if you've had that done before. A very small but notable number of people, mostly women, find that hypothyroidism (which can cause fatigue and depression among
many other symptoms) reveals itself after they quit smoking, because smoked tobacco is thyrotoxic but actually suppresses TSH (masking hypothyroidism).
Hope you find what works for you!