Emerald City Comedy Central

[BiteMe]

Two Irish guys are fishing. The first guy reels in his line and sees that he’s snagged an old bottle. As he’s taking it off the hook, a genie pops out and promises to grant him one wish. “Turn the lake into beer,” he says. The genie goes “Poof!” and the lake turns into beer. He says to the other guy, “So what do you think?” The other guy says, “You jerk. Now we’ve got to piss in the boat.”

 

[BiteMe]

Two blonds walk into a building...

You think one of them would have seen it.

 

[Tone]

There's a Bass watching a fly flying 5 inches above a pond and the bass thinks, If that fly drops 5 inches I can Have myself a meal.
There's a bear watching the bass watching the fly who's thinking, If that fly drops 5 inched the bass will Grab the fly and I will grab the bass and have myself a meal.
There's a hunter in the woods watching the bear who is watching the bass who is watching the fly who's thinking, if that fly drops 5 inches the bass will grab the fly the bear will jump in the water and grab the bass and I can have a shot at the bear and have myself a meal.
There's a mouse watching the hunter who is watching the bear who is watching the bass who is watching the fly who's thinking, If that fly drops 5 inches the bass will grab the fly the bear will jump in and grab the bass the hunter will lean over to shoot the bear the cheese sandwich in his pocket will fall out and I will have myself a meal.
There's a cat watching the mouse who is watching the Hunter who is watching the bear who is watching the bass who is watching the fly who's thinking, If that fly drops 5 inches the bass will grab the fly the bear will jump in the water and grab the bass the hunter will lean over to shoot the bear the mouse will run for the cheese sandwich i can grab the mouse and I can have myself a meal.
Sure enough the fly drops 5 inches.
The bass grabs the fly
The bear jumps in the water to grab the bass.
The hunter leans over to shoot the bear and the cheese sandwich fall out of his pocket.
The mouse runs to grab the sandwich.
The cat pounces to grab the mouse misses and lands right in the water.

What is the moral of this story.........





If the fly drop 5 inches the pu$$y gets wet.

 

[Vicks Vap-oh-Yeah]

A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Politician walk into a bar...

The bartender says: "What is this, some kind of joke?"

 

[youfillintheblank]

I love messing w/ telemarketers. When they call about replacing windows and doors, I tell them I live in a tent. When they call about ventilation, heating and air conditioning I tell them I live in a castle. IF I get enough time after that remark, I tell them I heat in the winter by burning witches. .

Queen......When I first started listening to this guy I almost cried laughing so hard!!...That was one of his "Tamer" pranks....some I could not post here!...The best ones are where he actually gets the telemarketer upset! Here is a short example!YouTube - Jim Florentine "Jim gets into a fight" The Wiz!

 

[Vicks Vap-oh-Yeah]

There's another guy who does the same thing as Jim Florintine - messing with Telemarketers...

Tom Mabe. Here's one where he gets a call about a fundraising dinner for (then) President Bush....


YouTube - Tom Mabe prank call -Bush's last fundraiser

 

[The Wiz]

I love messing w/ telemarketers. When they call about replacing windows and doors, I tell them I live in a tent. When they call about ventilation, heating and air conditioning I tell them I live in a castle. IF I get enough time after that remark, I tell them I heat in the winter by burning witches. .

youfillintheblank(can we give you a shorter name in here??) Here is Jim Florentines best one called "sir"...I have used this on several Telemarketers...they love this one...try it out and see how long you can keep them on the line!...I had on for 8 minutes(I timed it)..LOLThe Wiz!YouTube - Terrorizing Telemarketers III [Part 6]

 

[The Wiz]

This one is classic also!...LMAO...Listening to it while posting!The Wiz!YouTube - Terrorizing Telemarketers III [Part 5]

 

[Wildsky]

YouTube - The Greatest Prank Call Ever

 

[Kendra]

Make your own redneck art








I hope this isn't a thread-killer!

 

[The Wiz]

YouTube - The Greatest Prank Call Ever

Wildsky....I actually used that one before too(I LOVE TELEMARKETERS!)...Told the fellow on the phone I was a police detective at a homicide scene and began asking him for his name,address ect. He hung up on me pretty quick..lol..The Wiz!

 

[The Wiz]

Make your own redneck art








I hope this isn't a thread-killer!

Kendra....I think we will be ok!(I hope)..LOL..The Wiz!

 

[QueenInNC]

This one is classic also!...LMAO...Listening to it while posting!The Wiz!YouTube - Terrorizing Telemarketers III [Part 5]

Wiz, I am crying, I am laughing so hard!!!

 

[The Wiz]

Wiz, I am crying, I am laughing so hard!!!

Queen they are all good!...I cried for hours on a couple of these myself!..I will post some Kleenex for you!The Wiz!

 

[QueenInNC]

Queen they are all good!...I cried for hours on a couple of these myself!..I will post some Kleenex for you!The Wiz!

hahahahaha! I need them!

 

[The Wiz]

Last one for the night!YouTube - Terrorizing Telemarketers IV [Part 5] The Wiz!

 

[The Wiz]

Sorry I had to delete one of my own posts....I am pretty sure the moderators of the forum would have done so If I didn't!(I should have listened to that all the way through!!)The(Bad)Wiz!

 

[QueenInNC]

Sorry I had to delete one of my own posts....I am pretty sure the moderators of the forum would have done so If I didn't!(I should have listened to that all the way through!!)The(Bad)Wiz!

It was hysterical!!!

This stuff is great!

 

[The Wiz]

It was hysterical!!!

This stuff is great!

Queen....I think you might have to "you-tube" some of the other stuff yourself...I don't want the gates of The Emerald City locked for all eternity!!The Wiz!

 

[Wildsky]

YouTube - Roy D. Mercer-Dead Goat