Food for thought

[NoizMaker]

Hey All,

I have a slightly different post than usual tonight. No tips or tricks, advice, juice or hardware but I have to express my concern over some issues I have witnessed across the whole of this community.. and I mean that this has been an issue I've witnessed everywhere, let it be concerning Canadians, Americans, and so on...

Please read the following Article - Toronto News: Disabled Pickering boy took his own life after he was mugged and bullied - thestar.com

I was a lot like this poor young man throughout my childhood... Only I wasn't sick with a disease at the time and my parents separated. I was constantly fighting my way through school and things weren't much better at home for many of those years...

So when I witness bullying anywhere (IRL or Online), it kind of hits home for me, and understandably so.

If you honestly read the article, you would see what result all of the bullying has. It isn't tough love, it isn't just in jest... The bullying actually causes irreparable damage to it's victims and robs the world of another precious life in many cases, let it be through suicide or severe depression.

If you think "Online Bullying" is a joke, in good fun or acceptable in any way, then you have to take a step back and truly consider the fact that these are actually real people at the other end of your computer and not thoughtless AI in some video game. Also, this post isn't directed at any single person or event, it's instead some food for thought for all of us.

We are all here for the same reasons IMO, to help each-other help ourselves to quit the coffin nails and embrace a new and healthier lifestyle... And if you're not, then you truly need to do some soul searching. In the words of Jack Nicholson; "Can't we all just.. Get along?"

This world is not about conformity, ruthlessness or backing those you don't like or agree with into a corner... It is about diversity of opinion, aiding each-other and maybe - just maybe - making this world a better place to live in for ourselves and the future generations to come.

Thanks for reading and I hope I haven't offended anyone, I just felt it needed to be said.

/end rant

 

[wood]

didnt offend me , i always appreciate ur posts i was just bitter for getting barred from face book for doing nothing vulgar inappropriate or disrespectful in the first place
i have stopped nit picking i even liked a post lol
sorry to offend u noiz

 

[NoizMaker]

didnt offend me , i always appreciate ur posts i was just bitter for getting barred from face book for doing nothing vulgar inappropriate or disrespectful in the first place
i have stopped nit picking i even liked a post lol
sorry to offend u noiz

Hey Wood, this isn't meant to be directed at you or any one person and is merely food for thought for all of us and I truly mean that. I have witnessed bullying in many places let it be here on ECF, on online TV sites and on facebook/ other social networking sites and I am just hoping this will help bring these issues to the forefront so that, hopefully, some progress can be made.

I know we all have to grow weary of the contention, so once again please don't feel that it is directed at any recent squabbles because it honestly isn't, this has been something on my mind (and something I have been witnessing all over the place) for the last 2 years I have been vaping and I finally decided to post it.

I enjoy reading your posts too man!

 

[cigarbabe]

Really thoughtful and well voiced opinion NoizMaker and this cannot be repeated often enough in my opinion.
I think you should post this in the U.S.{regular} forums also.
It needs to be heard by everyone.
I wonder if you'd mind if I posted this in another forum I frequent that is enormously contentious?
Perhaps I could get you to post it there?
C.B.

 

[NoizMaker]

Really thoughtful and well voiced opinion NoizMaker and this cannot be repeated often enough in my opinion.
I think you should post this in the U.S.{regular} forums also.
It needs to be heard by everyone.
I wonder if you'd mind if I posted this in another forum I frequent that is enormously contentious?
Perhaps I could get you to post it there?
C.B.

Certainly Cigarbabe Feel free to repost all you want! I agree that this information needs to be heard by everyone, because it is an increasingly important subject in today's world and needs to come to some end. I'll post it in the US forum as well here ASAP and thank you for the suggestion.

EDIT: I have posted a link to this thread in The Lounge, I felt that was the most appropriate section to post it so here's hoping!

 

[Switched]

Certainly Cigarbabe Feel free to repost all you want! I agree that this information needs to be heard by everyone, because it is an increasingly important subject in today's world and needs to come to some end. I'll post it in the US forum as well here ASAP and thank you for the suggestion.

EDIT: I have posted a link to this thread in The Lounge, I felt that was the most appropriate section to post it so here's hoping!

Wow! The fall out from that post will be interesting to see.

 

[bassnut]

Sorry.
I moved my post to the Lounge.
Carry on.

 

[Mindfield]

I was bullied throughout school, so I can relate. My parents also separated, so I can relate on that level, too. Bullying is not about conformity. Being different is just the excuse bullies use to bully because non-conformists lack the aegis of strength in numbers. Neither is it about tough love or any form of jest. Those, too, are excuses. Bullying is about taking power from the powerless in order to feel powerful. Every victory by a bully is a hollow one, to be sure, but bullies don't care. Bullies rarely even think about it that deeply.

But I think perhaps that what may be worse than bullies and bullying is that many, for years, have tried to teach the victims to just ignore the bully and they'll stop bugging you -- the offline version of "do not feed the trolls," as it were. But for bullies, it doesn't work like that. It has never worked like that. Bullies respond to being ignored by stepping up their game. They take it as a challenge.

As much as I do not like to advocate violence, there is really only one way to truly deal with bullies, because that's the only language they understand.

I'm generalizing here, but for the most part, bullies are bullies, and bullies do what bullies do the world over. Bullying is a universal language, and the only effective way to respond is to use the bully's language against him. I realize this isn't going to be a popular opinion, but this is how I feel. Bullies want to feel powerful, and if you aren't a greater power, then you are just a source for theirs.

 

[Concat]

I was bullied in elementary, and I learned to use humor as a defense mechanism. I quickly learned I'd get more laughs making fun of other people and thus I became the bully. I feel really bad about some of it. Never was I a violent bully... just... well, mean.

 

[cbksj25]

I was bullied in high school around half a dozen times by the same guys. I had never been bullied before that. I was a pot-smoker and therefore quite friendly with most people.(non-sequitur?) The bullying stopped little later than when I started carrying a hunting knife. The last time I was bullied ended with said knife lodged between one of the bullies' ribs and nine months in juvenile detention for me. Was it worth it? My only regret is not critically injuring all three of them. Violence is only one answer but it is certainly one of the more immediately effective ones. Another term such as 'retaliate' should be employed instead of violence however, since violence assumes no preceding cause.

 

[Concat]

lol, so you spent 9 months in juvie, and you regret not adding more charges?

k.

 

[cbksj25]

To be clearer, the thing I regret is not adding more criminal charges to myself but not violating the bullies more. I think that bullying should be punishable by the death penalty, if the evidence permits of course.

Edit: I would also rather the law not have prescribed I spent any time in juvenile detention for self-defense / retaliation.

 

[Concat]

Death penalty?

Yeesh...

 

[WiηgC¤mmαηdεя]

Good post NoizMaker,

I understand what you are saying and can relate.
The depression that a person can suffer that was severely bullied can have a devastating effect that can last a lifetime.

Another effect can be sever low self esteem that many have trouble overcoming, and/or they become aggressive and start lashing out at anyone that they perceive rightly or wrongly as bullying.

All the best,
Wing.

 

[cbksj25]

If guilt is proven to near certainty, then yes. But that's rarely the case with bullying, since it is usually word-against-word. That is precisely why bullied people need to take action themselves and not rely on authorities.

 

[Vapoor eyes er]

Great post Noizmaker and it’s a topic that is far too often ignored IMHO. I have quite the opposite story to tell. In high school I was “in” with both the jocks and the hippies cuz I liked Pot and I loved sports so I got along with everyone. There was one kid in our class with obvious emotional issues and some thought it fun to pick on him and berate him. We decided enuff was enuff and came down on the group of punks like a Sh@#$t Storm. They never bothered him again and in the end we gained a valued lifelong friendship…Don’t always believe there is no one disgusted with that type of behaviour. Trouble is many will not voice their outrage at such ignorance. My feelings towards bullying stems from the fact my Grandad immigrated to Canada from the Ukraine in 1900. He would constantly lecture us on not being discriminatory or bullying. Near the end of his life he finally explained to us why he felt so strongly about treating all with dignity…turns out when he first came to this country he was constantly chased and beaten because he was an immigrant and spoke and dressed differently.
He LOVED Canada and was one of the first to sign up for WWI. Wounded 3 times and always demanded to return to the front cuz that’s where his “2nd” family was.
And about the boy that was bullied…began taking him to my boxing club and within 6 months WOW what a turnaround. Today he is CFO for a major publicly traded company, has a wonderful family and is a warm and caring person…kudos to him.

 

[cbksj25]

Kanal von TheYoungTurks - YouTube

What did that kid do other than being gay? He probably hasn't even has sex yet. He's fourteen years old. Yes, I think that youth bullies deserve at least a few years in prison IF they haven't caused too much harm and if the evidence permits. If they change and become more socially aware, then they could be released, otherwise they should be executed when they reach adulthood. Adult bullies should be shown no leniency and be executed immediately if the evidence permits.

I had seen another story last month of a girl being bullied and committing suicide. Those are only the ones we hear about. How many more stories are there of kids and sometimes adults committing suicide because of these abusers? They're rarely adults but it happens sometimes. I remember at least a few months ago in the US, some black dude shot up his place of employment because of rampant racism. If everything is true, I don't blame him.

To pseudo-paraphrase Mindfield and stress his point(story from a few days ago) From BBC:
"The BBC's Owen Bennett-Jones on the Syrian-Lebanese border says that when the protest movement began in Syria, opposition activists stressed that theirs was a peaceful protest movement determined to use non-violent methods to overthrow the government of President Assad.But, he says, after six months the tactic has produced only promises of reform from the government.That has led some in the opposition to argue that to achieve change they need to use more force, our correspondent says."

opposition activists stressed that theirs was a peaceful protest movement determined to use non-violent methods...
+
But, he says, after six months the tactic has produced only promises of reform...
=
That has led some in the opposition to argue that to achieve change they need to use more force.

 

[Pipeous]

cbksj25
dude or dudette, you seem to have some serious anger issues and need to maybe seek some professional help. not trying to be an .... but death talk is really not right man. I've been bullied too. I learned to deal with it. you stabbed someone with a knife and wish you'd stabbed more people and don't feel you did something wrong... wow man.

 

[cbksj25]

I do get violently angry when I see people being bullied, but my anger stems from something which most people agree is wrong. My actions were entirely retributive and I believe that bullying would be mostly eliminated if there were more incidents like mine. Most people fear violence/punishment against themselves, abusers not excepted. Indeed, one of the functions the law serves purposefully or not is to act as a deterrent to committing criminal acts. The problem with cases of bullying is that the law cannot be applied without a reasonable amount of evidence, which these cases often lack.

p.s. I'm also not generally angry. You've just discovered one of my pet peeves.

 

[cbksj25]

Edit: double posted