Funnies
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hahahahahaha, I agree, --
I am spoiled,
selfish,
demanding-
obsessive,
jealous,
and I desperately crave for some things,
other than that -- I am a nice person - hahahahaha
I am spoiled,
selfish,
demanding-
obsessive,
jealous,
and I desperately crave for some things,
other than that -- I am a nice person - hahahahaha
Did you know that:
It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
One human hair can support 3kg (6.6 lb).
The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.
Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Women blink twice as often as men.
The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
Women reading this will be finished by now.
Men are still busy checking their thumbs!
It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
One human hair can support 3kg (6.6 lb).
The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.
Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Women blink twice as often as men.
The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
Women reading this will be finished by now.
Men are still busy checking their thumbs!
Did you know that:
It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
One human hair can support 3kg (6.6 lb).
The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.
Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Women blink twice as often as men.
The average person's skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
Women reading this will be finished by now.
Men are still busy checking their thumbs!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHA
HHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
That is the only one that I went back to read again ---
I am just sooooooo norty !!!!!!! --
ok, guys all line up here -
I am checking thumbs today --------
**********
**********
A husband and wife are travelling by car from Brisbane to Melbourne.
After almost ten hours on the road, they're too tired to continue and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.
When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk; hands them a bill for $450.00.
The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren't worth $450.00.
When the clerk tells him $450.00 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge Conference centre that were available for the husband and wife to use.
'But we didn't use them,' the man complains
'Well, they are here, and you could have,' explains the Manager. He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. 'The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood, and Las Vegas perform here,' the Manager says.
'But we didn't go to any of those shows, 'complains the man again.
'Well, we have them, and you could have,' the Manager replies.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentions! the man replies, 'But we didn't use it!'
The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a cheque and gives it to the Manager.
The Manager is surprised when he looks at the cheque. 'But sir,' he says, 'this cheque is only made out for $50.00.'
'That's correct,' says the man. 'I charged you $400 for sleeping with my wife.'
'But I didn't!' exclaims the Manager.
'Well, too bad,' the man replies. 'She was here and you could have!'
After almost ten hours on the road, they're too tired to continue and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.
When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk; hands them a bill for $450.00.
The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren't worth $450.00.
When the clerk tells him $450.00 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appears, listens to the man, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge Conference centre that were available for the husband and wife to use.
'But we didn't use them,' the man complains
'Well, they are here, and you could have,' explains the Manager. He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. 'The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood, and Las Vegas perform here,' the Manager says.
'But we didn't go to any of those shows, 'complains the man again.
'Well, we have them, and you could have,' the Manager replies.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentions! the man replies, 'But we didn't use it!'
The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a cheque and gives it to the Manager.
The Manager is surprised when he looks at the cheque. 'But sir,' he says, 'this cheque is only made out for $50.00.'
'That's correct,' says the man. 'I charged you $400 for sleeping with my wife.'
'But I didn't!' exclaims the Manager.
'Well, too bad,' the man replies. 'She was here and you could have!'
A women goes to see a plastic surgeon one day and says she wants to get a face lift. He tells her about a wonderful new procedure where they put a little knob in the back of her head that when she turns it it will give her an instant face lift with no more surgery after the first one. She thinks this is a wonderful idea and has the procedure done. After a year or so she notices more wrinkles and gives the little knob a twist and "poof" the wrinkles are gone. She becomes obsessed with twisting the knob whenever she sees a little wrinkle and after another year has gone by she realizes she has gotten bags under her eyes but no amount of twisting will make them go away. She goes back to see the doctor and when he walks in he is a little startled. She explains to him about the bags under her eyes and after a few minutes to calm himself he explains that those are not bags under her eyes. They are her breast. The women thinks about this and then says "Oh, then I won't ask about the goatee"!
A guy goes in to see his doctor and after waiting for quite some time in the exam room a nurse walks in and explains that the doctor is going to be a while and asks him what is the problem. He explains that it is very embarrassing and he will wait for the doctor. The nurse explains that she is a professional and nothing he says can shock her. So he pulls down his pants and shows her his penis which is about 2" long and no bigger around than her pinky finger. She proceeds to laugh hysterically and after several minutes of trying to catch her breath, she regains her composure and after apologizing profusely, she asked him what was the problem.
He looks at her angrily and says "It's swollen".
He looks at her angrily and says "It's swollen".
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw TB
you rotten spoil sport
where is front view -- hahahahahahaha
you rotten spoil sport
where is front view -- hahahahahahaha
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