Funniest Fasttech description?

[look30]

I'm nominating $1.34 Electronic Cigarette E-Liquid Guide Rope (98cm) at FastTech - Worldwide Free Shipping "guide rope" (wick) for "large mounts of smog"

I guess it is kinda like smog



I hope people take this in the spirit intended, just a little fun. Heaven knows, I'd never be able to communicate at all in their language.

I wonder if it's a wick or really just a rope ... "large mounts of smog" is what I was getting out of the fake T2 I bought form them.

 

[Butters78]

fasttech sure has alot of influence.

I've noticed a couple times newbies calling heads cores like fasttech does.

 

[ScottP]

Some other wonderful products from China:

Thread NOT included.

“Nailpolish remover” that simply removes the nail.

 

[ScottP]

WOW I just figured out why the Chinese to English translations are so bad.

This is the cover for an English textbook from China. You too can leirn Eingsh today!

 

[CanIVap3InHere]

Speaking of fasttech, are they reliable? Anyone have a personal experience? Looking at both their vaping and no vaping related items!

 

[Butters78]

The engrish site is great for work. I'm sitting at my cubicle laughing my but off.

I was about to order the flog t shirt but they are out of stock

 

[Penn]

Depends on how you define reliable. You will get your order anywhere from 8 days to a month (usually a bit over a week). Things don't always work right but if you file a claim they will make it right. For those prices you can bet occasionally something won't work.

 

[The Ocelot]

I know this is a thread is about FastTech descriptions, but gotvapes has some priceless ones as well. They have no excuse.


"New reformulated tube on the newest version of Stardusts, stronger and virtually impervious to juice leeching."

That's a great thing to know if you plan on vaping in potentially leech infested areas.

And I love the use of virtually impervious. Kinda-sorta...



(It should be "leaching.")

 

[The Ocelot]

gotvapes copy translated:

I was looking at their new carto tanks:

"Very attractive 3.0ml carto tank, extremely well sealed. You can disassemle (sic) the tank from this unit but it is so well sealed into the top and bottom o-rings that you are instead provided a top knurled screw-in fill port through which you can fill your tank without removal of your cart!"

Translation: You need a wrench to get the carto out.

"Earlier releases of the X series tanks provide a machined hole at the base but no extra screw. Many speculated this was to hold the top screw when refilling so as not to lose it. We surmised it may be there to provide additional air flow control."

Translation: The first version leaked. The second version came with a screw we thought was supposed to stop the leaking, but it doesn't; it also leaks. We don't know what the screw is for. Bob, in sales, speculated, while Jim, in receiving, surmised it has a purpose. (Bob's wife also speculated, which counts as "many.")

"With its clean quasi-steam-punk appearance, stainless tip and highly polished top and bottom caps you simply have a nice sophisticated entry and somewhat low-profile entry into the carto tank market. This is a KEEPER!"

Translation: No warranty; no returns. It doesn't come with directions. You have to keep it no matter what.

Note: Quasi-steam-punk? Sophisticated? Low-profile? I suggest you pick a theme and stick with it. Those descriptions aren't quite synonymous.

"The tube can be removed but it is very tight. You will need to use your thumbnail to wedge at the top of the tube and bottom to wiggle it off. We suggest removing the bottom screw to provide air displacement to make this easier."

Translation: You need a wrench.

"You do not have to use the bottom screw and not using it or adjusting it MAY provide more airflow if desired. We haven't verified this."

Translation: We REALLY don't know what the screw is for.

"We would suggest keeping fill screw in the fill port to provide proper vacuum pull and also to avoid misplacement."

Translation: If you don't use the easily lost fill-screw the tank will leak from the top too.

It was also described as "nifty" somewhere in the listing.

 

[ScottP]

Marketers love using the word "virtually" because most consumers gloss over it and only hear the good part. To properly understand ANY marketing claim that uses the word "virtually", replace it with the phrase "almost, but not in fact". So something that is "virtually impervious to juice leeching" is really "almost, but not in fact impervious to juice leeching".

 

[The Ocelot]

Marketers love using the word "virtually" because most consumers gloss over it and only hear the good part. To properly understand ANY marketing claim that uses the word "virtually", replace it with the phrase "almost, but not in fact". So something that is "virtually impervious to juice leeching" is really "almost, but not in fact impervious to juice leeching".

Kinda-sorta

 

[Hitmetwice]

$4.96 Bulb Style Electronic Cigarettes Round Mouth Atomizer (2.8mL) - translucent / 2.4

If the "core" doesn't reach the mousepiece it's okay then, you can still virtually smoke the tar juice....
It doesn't say that but check out the pics??

 

[ScottP]

$4.96 Bulb Style Electronic Cigarettes Round Mouth Atomizer (2.8mL) - translucent / 2.4

If the "core" doesn't reach the mousepiece it's okay then, you can still virtually smoke the tar juice....
It doesn't say that but check out the pics??

I think it is supposed to be a dripper because it damn sure wouldn't work as a tank. Although it gives a whole new meaning to "smoking a bowl".

 

[volume control]

I think it is supposed to be a dripper because it damn sure wouldn't work as a tank. Although it gives a whole new meaning to "smoking a bowl".

Thats for e gels not liquids, ive seen a video

 

[Hitmetwice]

$40.80 Lava Tube 900mAh 3-6V Variable Voltage Rechargeable Electronic Cigarettes Health Keeping Set - with 1.6ml ce4 atomizer / LCD screen / 2*18350 batteries / silver at FastTech - Worldwide Free ShippingSo you may wanna get some extra batteries for this lavatube set....Apparently it takes 18650 battery but comes with 2 18350's
Must be a typo but they made the same mistake twice. Looks like small batts in the pics too.
The specs. just don't add up, guess I'm bein' picky. I'm sure you'll prolly get whats needed but? Will you?

Ed. the 1.6ml ce4 atomizer apparently will take 2.8ml of liquid also.

 

[Hitmetwice]

Thats for e gels not liquids, ive seen a video

Yeah, I read the discussion section after posting, it can also be used to vape wax I guess.

 

[chellemmm]

Vaping toothpaste gels...

 

[The Ocelot]

$4.96 Bulb Style Electronic Cigarettes Round Mouth Atomizer (2.8mL) - translucent / 2.4

If the "core" doesn't reach the mousepiece it's okay then, you can still virtually smoke the tar juice....
It doesn't say that but check out the pics??

gotvapes is selling that too. I thought English was their primary language

"The Dome Dripper - eSolid Atomizer - ALPHA (first version, may have bugs)

Bulb style atomizer for use in using esolid juice which is available in this same category. Dripping type of experience where you dab on a few dabs then vape. Recommended to dab only what you plant (sic) on vaping consecutively. Alpha product."

Translation(?): It appears Dabbing is the new Dripping. One should only dab when vaping consecutively while planting tulips.


The Dome Dripper - $7.95

ETA: Be sure to try the newest flavor of esolid juice, Oxymoron 555.

 

[FinallyQuit]

Once again being kept awake by a painful burning sensation after spewing soda through my nose all over my screen. EricHill and The Ocelot posts should come with a warning label.

This thread rocks!

 

[candik]

Gotta love Fasttech,, certainly a one stop shop, vapes and laughs, what more could you want? Some of those descriptions are so good, I need a vape after reading them!